Part 53
"Shhhh!" Heath hissed. "You'll break my concentration." He muttered some strange Old English words over a soup pot filled with ice cubes that were melting fast. As steam began to fill the air, a weird blue cloud formed. From the cloud, little white things fell into a bowl next to the pot. When it finished, Heath said some more Old English words, and the clould vanished. Back to silverchair stuff
"What was that?" Ben asked.
"Well, those Donna girls were asleep by the time I got here - I think they still are - and I figured the one thing Daniel *wouldn't* have in that backpack of his would be snow from South Park. So I conjured some up!"
"That's great!" Kelnino squealed. "Now what else do we need?"
"Six Ritalin tablets - which I know Robin has but refuses to take so he won't mind, leftover Halloween candy - which I have; dirt, water, salt, and I'm the only one of us who can lead the ceremony," dreamer explained. "I can use this soup pot, and what better place than here to do the Timmy invocation?" She grinned.
"So what's next?" Ash piped up.
"We finish getting the other ingredients. Robin, fork over the pills. Daniel, Ben, look for the salt; it's bound to be in here somewhere. Kearbear, get some dirt from outside. Chris, Heath, Junta, and everyone else, please stand guard so no one interrupts and messes this up."
"Eat my shorts!" Heath proclaimed, turned up his nose and crossing his arms.
"Aw...Heath! Can't you cooperate for a change?" Jill whined.
"YOU shouldn't talk to ME about cooperating, Jill!" Heath snapped back.
"And what's that supposed to mean?!" Jill shrieked, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Yo, do you guys mind?" KelNino interrupted. "I'm kinda writing in the Never-Ending Story and I can't concentrate when you're going at it like that..."
Heath sneered at Jill and turned around to face the wall, his arms still crossed. Jill's lip quivered a little, but she did manage to keep herself together quite well. Meanwhile, KelNino turned back to her keyboard and continued writing. When the rest of the potion supplies had been collected (without Heath's help), KelNino turned to dreamer and politely said "So...dreamer, can we kick this thing off? Would you like to start the ceremony?"
"Well..." dreamer informed KelNino, "Considering I'm the only one who knows how to do it and-"
"All right, shut up and get it over with." KelNino grew impatient and waved dreamer off. dreamer rolled her eyes again and tried to start the ceremony - just as something exploded in the back room and all the stuff flew out the window!
"Well that wasn't good," commented Ada.
"Wait, guys, I have a plan." §cars suddenly went off into the corner. Everyone was silent as her cerebral cortex suddenly began to throb.
"What is she doing?" asked Ash.
"Shh...don't interupt...we'll see," said KelNino.
Before they knew it, the contents needed for Timmy's invocation were back in the pot. §cars had somehow been able to rewind time, and fix the broken window!
"Wow! That was fan#%@$intastic! Now what do we do?" cried Nathaniel.
"Hey! That's my line, you poser!" Daniel interrupted.
"What's your line?" Ash raised an eyebrow in confusion as Daniel pointed accusingly at Nathaniel.
"He stole my line! 'Fan-#@$%in-tastic' is my word, for jolly elf's sake!" Daniel squealed.
"Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it, Daniel." Heath snorted. "It's just a word."
"That's it! I'm sick of you, you whining sniveling little wanker!" Daniel shook a fist at Heath.
"What're you gonna do, huh?" Heath pushed Daniel weakly.
"I'm - well, I'm gonna grind your bloody innards into the pavement and then I'll baste them with gravy and then I'll-"
"Daniel!" dreamer said. "We can't put that in the story, I can't have that kind of violence on my web page. The Angelfire people would have a bloody fit!"
"Oh, okay," Daniel thought, rubbing his goatee. "Then I'll just tell Mum on you, Heath!"
"Daniel, what's getting into you?" KelNino asked.
"He's hitting puberty," Ben whispered.
"At age 22?"
"He's a late bloomer," Ben explained.
"CAN WE PLEASE GET THE CEREMONY GOING?!" dreamer yelled over the conversation.
"Well, what more do we have to do to start?" Chris asked.
"Lock the doors," dreamer replied. "Like I said, we can't have anyone or anything interrupting the ceremony or we'll have to start over!"
Chris and Ben locked and bolted the doors and stood guard while dreamer poured the ingredients into the soup pot and turned on the burner. A strange orange mist began to rise from the pot, and she began to chant something in a language none of the other pioneers could understand. Oddly enough, the room became increasingly colder as the mist spread throughout the kitchen and the chant became louder, faster, and more erratic...it was almost as cold as the Colorado mountains. The pot began to boil over, and a familiar voice could be heard faintly over the din...
"Hey again, guys," James said, entering through one of the windows.
"NOOOOOO!" dreamer screamed. "You interrupted the ceremony! Timmy was ALMOST here! Damn you!"
"Dude, when did you leave?" KearBear asked, puzzled.
"After my third or fourth batch of puppies. Remember?" he said, rolling his eyes.
"Of course we remember. KearBear's just a dummy," KelNino replied as she rolled her eyes as well.
"Thanks, KelNino," Kearbear replied jokingly. "Should we start getting the ingredients again?"
"I guess so. Let's get 'em back, guys," dreamer said with a sigh.
"So KelNino, you go help KearBear get the stuff over there, and Sky and Flash can go that-a-way, and Ada and Junta can go there," Robin said, trying to sound important.
"I don't want to go with KearBear," KelNino pouted.
"Why not?" the pioneers asked as KearBear sulked at the thought of being rejected.
"Cause she's a poo. Can I go with Junta?" KelNino replied.
"Fine. Go with Junta --" Robin started.
"TO HELL!" KearBear finished as she ran and sat in a corner.
"What was that about?" dreamer asked, looking concerned.
"Well...she's hitting puberty," KelNino said.
"Her too?" Chris inquired, his voice cracking.
"Do us a favor and don't talk, Chris." Shayla pushed him to the back of the bathroom pioneer crowd.
"Okay, now let's get the ingredients and try AGAIN-"
"Hold on, dreamer. I have a better idea," KelNino interrupted as she dug through her canvas purse. "Ah, here it is..." She pulled out her phone and began dialing.
"What are you doing, Kelnino?" dreamer asked in confusion.
"I'm giving Timmy a call...oh, hold on, it's ringing...Hey! Timmy! How are ya?...yeah, okay. Sure, yeah, we know your name is Timmy already...yeah, TIMMY!...hehe...yeah, okay. Down to business. We need you down here...yeah, yeah, we tried the potion, but dreamer's limited brain power couldn't pull it off...(meanwhile Flash and Saurus were trying to keep an enraged dreamer from clobbering Kelnino)...yeah, sure. We'll wait for ya...okay, bye, Timmy!" Kelnino hung up the phone and turned back around. "Okay, Timmy said he'd be here in 10 minutes or so. He had to change his diapers and give his wheelspokes a polish..."
Finally, dreamer calmed down and Flash and Saurus let her go. "I'm fine!" she screamed angrily. "But KelNino! That was uncalled for!"
"What are you talking about?" KelNino asked.
"I do *not* have limited brain power! I'm smarter than you are!" dreamer said defensively.
"You're right, dreamer," KelNino said, admitting she was wrong, "We leave the limited brain power to Robin."
"What?" Robin said, looking up from a banana he found on the ground. "Did you say something about me again?"
"No Robin, just go back to your banana!" KelNino snapped.
Robin pouted and walked away to sit with Kearbear in the corner, "So Kearbear, why are you in the corner?"
"KelNino's a poo. You?" KearBear replied, suddenly cheery that someone joined her corner.
"Same..."
"Shut up you two!" KelNino turned around and pointed at the corner, glaring as Kearbear and Robin trembled with fear.
"No, no..." Kearbear whined, covering her eyes. "Not the finger! Please! No more pointing!"
KelNino glared some more before slowly lowering her index finger. "Now be quiet!"
Just then, Timmy rolled into the room in his wheelchair, his head bent over at an odd angle. "TIMMY!" he shouted.