Why obsessed Korn fans suck

I don't have any problem with Korn. I actually like them. I just think that a lot of their fans are big jerks. This does not mean that if you like Korn you suck. I have friends who like Korn and they are nice. But in general, Korn fans are some of the rudest people I have ever met. Here are some reasons why:

1. If you like a band that they don't like, they hate you.

2. If you don't like a band that they like, they hate you.

3. If you make a small joke about Korn, they hate you.

4. They talk like drunk sailors. F*** this and f*** that, and go f*** yourself.

5. If you don't talk like a drunk sailor, you must not be a Korn fan.

6. If you don't have 50 Korn shirts and own every CD AND single, you hate Korn, and therefore, you suck.

7. If you don't have the word "Korn" written on your backpack 700 times, you are a major loser.

8. If you don't like every single rock, metal, punk, and industrial band on Earth, you must hate Korn.

9. If you like something that is not rock, metal, punk, or industrial, you hate Korn.

10. If you don't categorize Korn properly, you must hate them. (Example, saying that they're metal when they aren't.)

11. Did I mention that KORN IS NOT METAL!!! Korn doesn't have a category.

12. If you aren't obsessed with every single band associated with Korn no matter how much they SUCK BUTT (i.e. Limp Bizkit) then you must hate Korn, and therefore must be destroyed.

13. If you agree with them in a chatroom, they say something rude like "No duh" or "When did you figure that one out?"

14. If you haven't been a major Korn fan since they first came out in '93, you hate Korn. Keep in mind that in '93 I was 8.

15. If you don't have a website dedicated to the worship of Korn for any other reason than "I was too busy worshiping Korn", you hate Korn.

16. If you have a website dedicated to the downfall of Korn, you hate Korn. Well, I agree with that one.

17. If you think Korns's music is mindless drone, you hate Korn.

18. If you have a friend who hates Korn, you hate Korn.

19. If you think it would be funny if Korn was on Assassin, you hate Korn.

20. If you haven't broken someone's arm in a mosh pit at a Korn concert, you are a loser.

21. If you aren't a stoner, you aren't a Korn fan.

22. If you've never been stoned before, you aren't a Korn fan.

23. If you aren't stoned right now, you aren't a Korn fan.

24. If you complain that whenever you say you hate a boy band, teenyboppers automatically assume you like Korn, every Korn fan who hears about it hates you.

25. If you point out that Limp Bizkit is a lame rip-off of Rage, you must hate Korn.

26. They think Rage is a rip-off of Limp Bizkit. That is so funny it doesn't even need a comment.

27. They like Limp Bizkit.

28. Limp Bizkit is just a cross between Rage and Korn, and if you point this out you are an IDIOT. I really don't like comparing Rage to Limp Bizkit, because there is a big difference between the two: Rage doesn't SUCK. I feel the same way about comparing Korn to Limp Bizkit.

29. If you don't have a web-based email that contains the words "Korn", "Limp", "Bizkit", "Freak", "Leash", or "Nookie", you don't like Korn.

30. All they ever write in chatrooms is "KoRn". That's about as stupid as writing "I <3 Justin Timberlake".

31. If you diss Korn fans, you must hate Korn.

32. If you think this is funny, you must hate Korn.

33. If you got a kick out of Time Magazine's review of Issues, you must hate Korn.

34. If you don't think this and this are brilliant, you don't like Korn.

35. If you aren't just like them, you aren't a Korn fan and must be destroyed.

36. Anyone who has the smallest problem that is somehow connected to Korn must die!

37. They claim to be alienated when in fact they are the ones who alienate people.

I'll add more once some stupid Korn fan makes me mad. And keep in mind that not all Korn fans are stupid. Just the vast majority of them. So if you like Korn, I'll not insulting you in particular. Okay? I'm sure if you are reading this, you are not stupid. So don't send me hatemail! No, I take that back. Do send me hatemail. It will prove how right I am. Also keep in mind that I do not hate Korn. I think they're great! If we're clear on this, then you may go BACK.