This is how Ricky's going to end up
Well, it's the year 2010. The (insert party name here) are in charge, The Leonov has gone to recover Discovery, and Ricky Martin does not exist, as far as the media is concerned. But I have the inside scoop on what he's been doing for the last ten years.
January '00-popularity died out. (I wish!)
April '02-released another album, sold exactly 84 copies
December '02-Time magazine called his album "The lamest excuse for a record since "No Strings Attatched"
August '03-admitted that he's gay.
October '04-married Leonardo DiCaprio
November '04-Leo jumped off a 21 story building and died.
December '04-married Nick Carter
January '05-my sweet little kitten attacked both of them and caused them both to have a phobia of cute little furry things. Good kitty.
March '05-Nick started going to therapy for his cute & furry phobia, and later left Ricky for the therapist.
September '05-Ricky still had a huge cute & furry problem, but instead of seeking help, he stayed inside an outhouse for three years. No one knows how he survived in there, but there are theories. Oh yes, there are theories.
February '09-Ricky considered releasing a new record.
November '09-Ricky tried to write a song. He's still in the hospital to this day.