Fun with teenyboppers
Here's a list of fun things you can do with teenyboppers:
1. Go to the magazine section of a store and wait for a pair of teenyboppers (They always travel in pairs.) to come looking for their favorite teenybopper magazine. Then pretend to be looking for something and pull up a teeny magazine. When you look at it jump back about five feet and scream at the top of your lungs.
2. There are vending machines where you can purchase Backstreet Boys stickers and necklaces. They are similar to the ones that give out gumballs for 1 cent. Put the change in the machine but don't take the crappy stickers out. Instead, wait for a pair of teenyboppers to come close enough, then let the stickers fall to the floor. Hiss at the stickers first, and when the teenies look at you like you're insane, hiss at them.
3. Find out when a teenybopper band is coming to your town. On the night of the performance, camp out in the parking lot with a bunch of your friends and play your favorite band's music from a huge portable stereo. When the performance is over, bang your heads to the loud music you are playing and scream out that the band that just performed really sucks. (Note: This can work with any band you don't like, not just teenybopper bands.)
4. Find out when a teenybopper band is coming to your town. On the night of the performance, camp out in the parking lot, dressed like a homicidal maniac. (All you need for this costume is your normal clothes and a fake knife.) When all the teenies are leaving, chase them around wielding your fake knife and screaming nonsense. This works especially well on halloween night.
5. Look for a group of teenyboppers in a large public place. The mall is a good bet. Hang around a Spencer Gifts (they got tons of teenybopper crap) or any other place selling boy band mechandise. When they come in, pretend to be looking at the teeny crap. When they try to look at it, block them. Do not allow them to look at that crap. When they finally give up, say out loud, "Another innocent soul saved from the evils of teeny crap".
Big up to Inga for this next one
6. Okay I just sent you an email, but you have a lot of great stuff to respond to. So here is one relatively innocent way to bother a bopper. My friends and I were at a cafe about 2 years ago when Leonardo DiCaprio was really huge. There was this girl who had just come in from the Tower Records across the street and was reading the Leo mag she bought there. My friends and I were goofing on it and one of my friends went over to the girl and the conversation went like this:
My Friend: Is that a Leo magazine?
Bopper: Yes
MF: Omg! He is sooo cute!!
B: I know!
MF: I just love him! I've seen Titanic, like, 80,000 times!
B: Omg me too!
MF: Can I look at that for a second?
B: Sure
MF: (as she flips through the mag)He is just totally Johnny
Dreamboat! I wish I could smooch him!
B: Me too!
MF: Okay thanks for giving me my Leo fix for the night!
B: Sure!
Meanwhile my other friends and I are in total hysterics. The
bopper kept looing at us. I'm sure she finally figured out that
we weren't laughing with her. It's a nice, subtle, non-violent,
psychological approach to annoying them as much as they annoy us.
Cheers,
Inga
7. Here's a puzzle that will keep those teenies busy for hours!
Hey Mom, thanks for the pics!
8. This is from Laura. I agree with everything she says!
You might be a teenybopper if...
you are madly in love with N'Sync but think BSB is the worst band around (or vice versa)
you saw "Titanic" and wondered why the ship just had to sink.
you've waited outside MTV's Time Square offices with a big "Marry Me Carson" sign, screaming your a** off!
you were one of those people who hacked into MTV's computer around the time of the VMAs just so your precious N'Sync would win the Viewer's Choice award.
you resemble the Fashion Club on "Daria".
you send hatemail to anti-band sites.
yOu TyPe LiKe ThIs.
you use words like ne, newayz, hott, ur, or the like when typing on a message board, in a chat room, or on e-mail.
YOU TYPE LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME (author's note: ok, my dad does this too, but I think he's just too lazy to remove the caps button).
You go into chat rooms typing "(Fill in the blank) RULZ", "(so and so) is hott)", or "(whatever) sux!" and constantly beg for cybersex.
You buy every teen magazine in sight, just so you can get the flavor of the month's pretty face plastered all over your room (if you haven't already).
You're immature, racist, and homophobic (yeah I know racism and homophobia do not automatically qualify one as a teenie, but a lot of teenies exhibit these qualities).
Every other word coming out of your mouth is "like", "you know", or "omigod!" (or the shortened "OMG").
You think Limp Bizkit is hardcore. (They're not, people! Deal with it!)
You actually bought that godforesaken Britney Spears doll for reasons other than voodoo.
You think Jennifer Lopez is the best singer who ever lived.
You think Puff Daddy is a musical genius.
and, finally...
you maintain that Korn did not sell out!
Hope you enjoy this!
Luv ya, Laura
9. I know this is more appropriate for the Backstreet section, but there is no page for "Frick and Frack" there (yet), so I'm putting this here. Here are some alternate names that Nick and Brian call each other:
Dick and Crack
Pr*ck and Whack
Honey and Sweetheart
Baby
Stick (it in the) Crack
Sexy b*tch
Lick my Crack
Mr. Penis
Yeah I know, some of these are lame. (Specifically, the ones I made up. They're fun, though!) If you got any better ideas, email me, please!