Who am I?
Look, discover who I am,
And then tell me.
Twenty three year old Leigh Parrish scribbled various things in a worn cloth covered notebook that housed song ideas. She was in the process of writing new material for her band, Bruised and Broken, to play at the mundane gigs that they managed to secure.
For all their practicing, all their hard work and advertising, This Ruined Masterpiece still could not find fame, or even an in to the industry that would make them famous. They were struggling, not enough money to pay for instruments, advertising materials, rent, and sometimes food.
They were a rock band, one born out of four angry girls moshing in a garage one day. Alanna Martin, the bassist for the band, had offered her garage for the girls to pour out their angst. Brianna Castillo, the band’s drummer, was into some pretty heavy drinking and drugs. Lexi Johnson, the self proclaimed good girl of the group, played guitar to escape her overbearing, incredibly rich parents. None of their parents approved of the band, making it the most essential thing on the girls’ lists.
Leigh’s own parents were absentee, their work at their office infinitely more important than anything Leigh could ever do. Her parents were prominent psychologists and spent more than enough time trying to analyze exactly why Leigh skipped school, experimented with drugs, and generally had a “fuck all” approach to the world.
Like they even cared.
Leigh had managed to graduate from high school, but just barely. It was the thought that she would have to spend another year at her high school that had pushed her to get enough credits to graduate. She had been to jail more times than she could count, had both her parents as shrinks and countless more, and it all hadn’t even fazed her.
Music was the one thing in her life that she could control. Leigh might not have been able to get her parents to pay attention to her or anything she did, but she controlled what went into a song, how it was arranged, how it was to be sung. Music gave her control and an outlet to pour all her anger into.
Brianna was Leigh’s best friend; the one who gave her the first hit of pot, the first drink, the first everything. They did everything together…good and bad. Brianna lived with her single mother, and roles were reversed. Brianna was expected to take care of her mother, who dated endlessly and had sex with dozens of men. Brianna refused to take on the role, instead turning to drugs, drinking and music. Leigh had written her first song with Brianna, at the age of twelve. They were the founders of the band.
Lexi was the good girl, the one who had never tried the various drugs that Brianna and Leigh brought to practices. Lexi just loved music. Her parents were CEOs of a large pharmaceutical company in Los Angeles and brought home the big bucks. CEO meant considerably less time to spend with their only daughter, so they compensated by buying her everything she wanted. If Lexi wanted a car, then Lexi got a car. She had picked up the guitar, all by herself when she was fifteen. Music was the one thing the Johnson family would not tolerate.
Alanna was roped into being in the band by Leigh. They had known each other since grade school, and Leigh had pressured her into joining the band. She had a considerable amount of talent with the bass guitar, making her the perfect addition to the band. They chose the name This Ruined Masterpiece because that’s exactly what they were. Four girls with parents, who didn’t care, riddled with angst that had no outlet to be poured into.
It started out as a high school garage band, but it had evolved into a serious rock band that was seeking validation, prestige…fame. They had recording equipment in Leigh’s apartment, where they all convened to produce as many demos as they could to pass out to people when they played.
They played everywhere. Different clubs, fairs, birthday parties, parties in general. Anywhere that they could get some kind of recognition, they played. Only it didn’t help them. Each time they played, they always had people who kept asking who they were.
Leigh sighed in frustration and closed the notebook. Nothing good was coming to mind at the moment anyway. Brianna was passed out on the couch, the aftermath of her night of partying and snorting coke. Leigh had done some herself, but not enough to warrant sleeping all day.
Leigh had in her hand probably the best demo that This Ruined Masterpiece had done to date. It had songs like Find Me and Broken. It had five songs on it, five of their very best and Leigh thought that it would be the key to getting them recognized if she could just find the right person to give it to.
She got onto the crappy computer they had all chipped in to buy and went to check her email. There was one from the manager of 32 Bleu, telling Leigh that they could perform the following Friday night. She went to the website that she had set up to promote the band. Only four hits since the last time she had checked.
One last check of her email inbox showed an email about upcoming rock concerts and Leigh saw that SnoCore tour was going to be coming to their town. The very last date of the tour was going to be right there in LA. Leigh saw the concert not only as a great time, but also as a way to get their demo to someone who would really listen to it and help them.
Smile Empty Soul was known for their devotion to their fans and Leigh knew for a fact that because they were playing at a small venue that there would be a chance to meet the members of the band afterwards.
“Bri, wake up.” Leigh smacked her friend a few times, prompting her to roll over and moan. “Damn it, Brianna. Wake up!”
“God, Leigh,” Brianna said, finally lifting her head. “I feel like my fucking head is going to fall off and you’re yelling in my fucking ear?”
“I have news,” Leigh said defensively. “I had a legitimate excuse.”
“Okay,” Brianna said, lifting her head. “I’ll never be able to go back to sleep anyway. What is it that was so important that you had to interrupt my peaceful, drug induced sleep?”
“SnoCore is coming.” That got Brianna’s attention.
“No fucking way.” Leigh nodded. “Who’s playing?”
“Trapt, Smile Empty Soul, Finger Eleven, and Strata.”
“Sounds fucking awesome,” Brianna replied. “I assume that the importance of this tour is just because all those bands rock. What else do you have in mind?”
“I’m planning on meeting some of the band members after the concert.”
“And?” Brianna prompted.
“I’m going to give one of them our demo.”
“Are you kidding?” Brianna asked incredulously. “Who from that group of bands would take some dinky little demo tape?”
“Any of the members of Smile Empty Soul. There’s God Hates Me Music publishing that Sean runs. You never know what could happen, Bri. I think it’s worth a shot.”
“Alright,” Brianna conceded. “Are you going to go alone or are we coming as well? I could so see myself fucking someone who is in a band. ”
“I’ll just go by myself,” Leigh told her. “I’m not sure we could afford tickets for all four of us anyway.”
“Go for it.” She looked over Leigh’s shoulder. “Have you seen my coke spoon? Come to think of it, are we out of coke? I can’t remember.” Leigh sighed.
“Who knows, Brianna?”
Leigh quickly navigated herself to Trapt’s website and purchased a ticket to the concert. As a member of a rock band, Leigh enjoyed rock music as well. Trapt was one of her favorite bands so Leigh felt like she was getting the best of both worlds. She could see her favorite band, meet some of the band members, and possibly give her demo to someone.
Maybe this was their chance.
************************
(May 21)
Leigh arrived at the venue, tickets and demo in her hands. Because she arrived a couple hours before the venue was even supposed to open, she was able to be first in line to go inside.
While she was standing in line, Leigh met the members of Strata who were walking around outside. The lead singer, Eric, was open, funny, and honest. He made it very clear that he loved what he did and even heavily supported her when she told him that she was in a band as well.
When the concert goers were allowed inside, Leigh headed straight down to the floor. It rewarded her well, as she got a spot up against the barrier directly in front of the microphone. It was the position to be in, with every lead singer save for Sean being right in front of her.
The concert kicked ass, although that was pretty much a given. Leigh found certain parts of her body aching when she noticed the drummer of Smile Empty Soul and it had nothing to do with moshers or being shoved against the barrier. He got her hot and that was all there was to it.
Leigh went to the bathroom to reapply her eyeliner, giving her the dramatic gothic look that she always strove for. She took a drink from the water fountain and headed out to where the vendors were selling t-shirts and CDs. Tons of fans were milling about and Leigh could immediately see why. There were band members everywhere.
A quick glance toward the t-shirt area awarded Leigh a look at her sexy drummer. Unfortunately, he had put his shirt back on, although it did nothing to detract from his hotness. He didn’t look like he belonged in a rock band; he had good looks that could have made him a model.
Leigh pulled out her ticket and stepped over to him. She also pulled out her demo tape. He had the biggest group of girls around him, feeling him up and eyeing him like he was a piece of meat. Not that she could blame them. He had the body of a god, black hair and gorgeous green eyes. If he wasn’t a rock star, he could have definitely been a model.
When the crowd had thinned a little bit, Leigh approached him. His name was Derek, she knew that much. He was ten times as hot in person as he was on stage and that was saying a lot. He gave her a glimpse of a million watt smile as she handed him her ticket.
“I’m Leigh,” She offered, watching him scribble his name on the ticket. “I really liked your set.”
“I’m Derek,” he replied. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“Can I take a picture with you?”
“Sure.” She handed her camera to someone standing next to her and took her place next to him. With her arm around his waist and his around hers, Leigh had a warm feeling pulsing through her body.
“I have a question for you,” Leigh said after the picture was taken and she had grabbed her camera
“Okay,” Derek said, leaning slightly against the counter. Even the unconscious gesture made him look hot.
“I’m in a band,” Leigh started.
“Cool.”
“I have a demo CD,” Leigh said, holding it up as proof. “We’ve been trying to get some exposure for about four years now. I’m not expecting anything from you, but I was wondering if you would listen to it.”
Derek took the CD, looking at it with a great amount of interest. “Of course. We’re always on the lookout for new bands. You guys from LA?” Leigh nodded.
“Born and raised.”
“I’ll listen to it. If I like it, then I’ll be getting in touch. Your contact information is in there?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, then. I’ll listen to it.” Leigh couldn’t help it. She threw her arms around his neck, squealing in delight. He laughed, hugging her back.
“Thank you so much!”
It took a lot for her to leave the venue and venture outside and the entire time she could feel Derek’s eyes on her. She got Eric to sign her ticket, took a photo with him and looked around for anybody from Trapt. With no luck there, she headed home. For the first time in a long time, Leigh felt good.
Things might actually go her way.
*******************
Derek Gledhill whistled some random tune as he walked across the street to where his band’s tour bus was parked. Sean Danielsen, the lead singer of Smile Empty Soul, was already on the bus. Sean was a little more on the reserved side and did not just hang out and meet fans.
Derek, on the other hand, loved to just stand outside the venue and meet all kinds of people. To Derek, meeting fans was the whole reason why they made music. Sure, they loved what they did. But if it wasn’t for the fans, Smile Empty Soul wouldn’t be where they were today.
He looked down at the CD in his hand, noting the name of the band. This Ruined Masterpiece. Hmm. Derek headed up the stairs of the bus and found Sean messing around with his guitar. He was reapplying white paint to the “G.W. Bush Sucks” on his guitar to keep it looking nice.
“What’s that?” Sean asked, nodding his head toward the CD case. Derek sat down next to him, and opened it up.
“It’s a demo CD that a fan gave me.”
“Think it’s any good?” Derek shrugged.
“I can’t tell until I listen to it, right?” Sean nodded.
“Let me know.”
Derek headed to his bunk, wanting nothing more than to lie down with his headphones and read Spin Magazine. He looked at the list of songs in the case. Find Me, Broken, Bruised, Saved, Defeated. Sounded interesting.
Derek popped the CD into his Walkman and grabbed his magazine. Find Me was the first song he listened to. It was a rock ballad that moaned about a girl who had no idea who she was, and is looking to everyone else to find out who she is and to tell her. Leigh was listed as the lead singer/guitarist and it was her voice that sent goose bumps down Derek’s spine.
Bruised spoke of a girl whose parents didn’t love her, who had no part in her life, and Leigh sang of the girl’s decent into drugs to cope. There was something about her voice, the way she sang the song that gave Derek the idea that maybe the lyrics had a little truth to them.
last three songs all had similar themes, of parentless lives, drugs, loneliness, and anger at the injustice of it all. When the songs ended, Derek was in awe of the band. Leigh had put a brief biography in the case and Derek skimmed it. Garage band started when the members were nineteen. They played all their own instruments and wrote all their songs.
They were good.
Derek put it on repeat and thumbed through his magazine. They were so good in fact, that Derek was going to contact Leigh and talk to his manager about maybe getting the band to open up a few shows with Smile Empty Soul.
Derek took off his headphones and pulled out his cell phone. He dialed the number of SES’s manager at Throback Records. Derek was put right through and was excited to tell his manager about Leigh’s band.
“Hey, it’s Derek.”
“What can I do for you?”
“I have a proposition,” Derek said. “I received a demo at tonight’s concert. It’s fucking awesome and I was wondering if we could sign them.”
“Sign a band I’ve never heard?”
“Yeah,” Derek replied. “I mean, have them play a few dates with us. If they go over well, if they deal with it well, then you could actually sign them to the label.”
“And they’re really that good?”
“Really.”
“Well,” He paused. “You’ve never called me like this, so I’m assuming that this band must have had a big impression on you. Go ahead and call her.”
When Derek snapped his phone shut, he was grinning. Not only was he home and able to rest for a week but he had just found a new band, one who no doubt was going to famous when given enough exposure. He couldn’t stop grinning as he dialed the number Leigh had left in the CD case.
Derek was about to change her life.
*********************
Leigh couldn’t stop grinning as she headed into the apartment upon returning from the concert. She also couldn’t get Derek out of her mind. He was hot, he was talented, and he was dead sexy.
Derek made her hot.
Leigh loved sex just about as much as she loved music. There was something amazing about the feelings that sex invoked. She wasn’t into it as much as Brianna, who loved music, drugs and sex. Leigh just loved the occasional, or often, romp in the sack. There was nothing wrong with that.
“Hello?” Leigh called out as she threw her keys on the table. Brianna was always at the apartment, doing God only knows what. Sure enough, Brianna was in the kitchen nursing yet another hangover.
“How was the concert?”
“It kicked ass.” Leigh said, sitting down next to Brianna. “I gave our demo CD to the drummer of Smile Empty Soul.”
“Really?” Leigh nodded. “And he actually said that he would listen to it?”
“Yep.” She grabbed a piece of fruit from the bowl on the table. “His name is Derek and he said that he would call if he liked what he heard.”
“We actually have a chance, don’t we Leigh?” Brianna asked, after she had tossed back about four Tylenol. “I mean, we could actually have that drummer call us back?”
“His name is Derek, Bri. And yes, if he likes it, then he’s going to call us. Of course, since we kick ass, we know that he’s going to call.”
Leigh headed to the refrigerator and grabbed the makings of a chicken, bacon and ranch wrap. As she was putting it together, the cordless phone rang and Leigh picked it up.
“Leigh Parrish.”
“Leigh? This is Derek Gledhill. I met you a couple hours ago at the concert.” Leigh pulled the phone away from her ear, earning a look from Brianna. She mouthed the words “It’s him” and put the phone back to her ear.
“Derek, it’s good to hear back from you. I take it you listened to the demo, then?” Leigh was aware that she was holding her breath. “What did you think of it?”
“I think it fucking rocked.” Leigh let out a whoosh of air.
“Really?” Derek laughed.
“Yes, really. And I have some great news for you. My manager wants to have your band open for us on a few independent concert dates and if he likes what he sees, he’ll sign you to Throback Records.”
“No fucking way.” Leigh jumped up and down. “Where do you want us? When? What’s going to happen?”
“Calm down,” Derek said. “Since we’ve been touring for months, we have a couple of weeks off. Sean likes to go to some clubs sometimes and do impromptu performances. Why don’t you guys come hang out at my house for a couple of days?”
“You want us to hang out at your house?”
“Now you’re starting to sound like a crazy teen fan,” Derek said jokingly.
“Sorry,” Leigh said. “I’m just…in awe. I mean, I know we’re good and I knew that you would call back, but when it actually happened, it was like, wow.”
“I know what you mean,” Derek replied. “We were kind of like that we found out we were going to be signed and had the chance to actually make something of ourselves. I can tell you love music.”
“Music is my life,” Leigh told him. “Sometimes, it’s the only thing that’s gotten me through life.”
“It shows through your songs,” Derek said softly. For some reason, that touched Leigh’s heart, like he knew her pain and she was comforted. “Some of them are…powerful. Like the pain just seeps through and makes you feel like you’ve lived it. I know we’re going to be hearing great things from you band.”
They talked a little while more, and Derek gave her the address of his house. Tomorrow, This Ruined Masterpiece would be staying at Derek Gledhill’s house. They were really going to attempt to break into the music business. When she clicked the cordless phone off, Brianna was looking at her expectantly.
“So?”
“We’re going to stay at Derek’s house, play a few dates with Smile Empty Soul and maybe get signed.”
“Really?”
“Really!” The two girls were jumping up and down, hugging and screaming. “We’re gonna be famous! We’re gonna be famous!”
Alanna chose that moment to walk into the apartment, and was looking at the two of them like they had finally lost their marbles. They pulled her into the hug, and she was squealing without really knowing why.
“What’s going on?”
“Leigh gave our demo to a drummer and we’re gonna go stay at his house, play with his band, and maybe get signed.”
“We’re gonna be famous!”
“Leigh, is this really happening?” Alanna asked when they had all calmed down enough to stop screaming. “We might really have a chance?”
“It is,” Leigh replied. “He is the nicest guy in the world. Plus, they know what it was like to struggle.”
“It’s time to party!” Brianna said.
While Brianna took charge of mixing the drinks, cosmos and daiquiris, in many different flavors, Leigh took the time to call Lexi and let her know what was going on. She was taking some classes at the local college so Leigh called her on her cell.
“Leigh, that’s great! I’ll be over at the apartment tomorrow.”
By the time Leigh had gotten off the phone, Brianna had brought out the pot. She took a hit, sucking the smoke into her lungs and holding it there. Alanna passed, not really the drug doing type.
They got to laughing, joking and drinking. Alanna watched Brianna and Leigh get drunk, celebrate their impending success. This was it. This was their chance to make something of themselves, to show everyone that they really were a band, one that had the talent to make it in the rock world.
It was finally their chance to shine.
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