Ashley was lounging by the pool when Alanna showed up. He had been reading a magazine, actually the same line of the same paragraph, for the last hour. She walked out into the pool area, wearing only a bikini and a sarong. Her bikini was dark satin blue, with no straps that came down to a point above her bellybutton. The bottom part was matching shorts. It showed off the well-sculpted muscles of her calves and legs, and showed her smooth, tan stomach and tight, firm buttocks. Ashley was definitely paying attention to her and not his magazine. They were the only two out there.
There was an uncomfortable silence, with tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. Alanna took note of the light breeze that was blowing making the humidity seem some what less stifling and how clear a blue green the pool was. She also didn’t fail to notice that Ashley was only wearing a pair of board shorts and sunglasses, the sunlight glinting off his spiked blond hair. She dove into the pool, relishing the coolness of the water. She surfaced, noticing that Ashley was watching her.
“Is it going to be like this every time that I come over?” Alanna asked impatiently as she hoisted herself out of the pool. “We’re behaving like two kids. I think that we are both able to be mature about the whole situation and at least act civil toward each other.” Ashley got up and sat down next to her, his feet in the water.
“I agree. We’re both acting kind of immature.” Alanna could smell the musky scent of his cologne and was close enough to see the growth of hair on his chin. They looked at each other, gray eyes meeting blue ones. Without even realizing it, they were leaning in closer. Alanna tilted her head and Ashley’s lips met hers. It was a soft touch at first, gradually increasing in pressure. He opened her mouth with his, gaining access to her tongue. Alanna wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. After a few minutes, they pulled away. Ashley’s heart was beating wildly and they were both panting.
“Wow.” Alanna breathed. Their foreheads were resting against each other as they tried to catch their breath. “This could complicate a lot of things.” Alanna whispered. Ashley nodded but made no effort to move.
“It’s definitely worth it.” Ashley replied, capturing her lips with his once more. They shared several strong kisses before Alanna pulled away.
“Do you realize what we’re doing, Ashley?” She looked away. “We’re dating other people now. We shouldn’t be doing this.” Ashley shook his head.
“As bad as this is gonna sound, my relationship with Shelli doesn’t mean anything. Not anymore. Both her and I know that our relationship is an attempt for me to hold on to Redding, to the old me. That’s all it is. What you and I have together? It is uncomparable. You and I are connected by our souls, and that connection can never be broken. You can’t escape that.” Alanna nodded.
“It’s the same way with Brett. He’s just an attempt to replace you, a quite unsuccessful one at that.” Ashley gently touched her cheek, where her makeup had rubbed off and the bruise was becoming visible.
“Tell me the truth, Alanna.” Ashley said, his voice and face completely serious. “Does he hit you?” Alanna shook her head quickly, almost proving Ashley right.
“No. Brett would never do something like that. He’s quite loving, really, he spoils me religiously.”
“Okay.” Alanna glanced at Ashley before sliding into the pool, pulling him in with her. They surfaced together, Ashley sputtering. They horsed around for a while, just enjoying each others company before Alanna realized that she needed to go.
“I have to go.” Ashley nodded, pulling her close and kissing her softly before she hoisted herself out of the pool. She took one last look at him, water drops glistening on his tanned skin, his blue eyes shining with love and admiration as he looked at her. As she drove to her apartment, she decided that she would pack a few weeks worth of clothes and come back for the rest when the band started their tour. It was easier to just stay at the house, so she would be there to give the fans real information about the guys, a day in their life. It was the kind of stuff that would make a good website, entertaining yet informational at the same time. Alanna entered her apartment, not expecting to see Brett there.
“Well there you are. I knew that you would have to come home for something. It was only a matter of time.” Alanna sighed, her happy mood gone.
“Why are you in my apartment?” Alanna asked, regretting that she had given him a key. It was turning out to be a big mistake.
“I was waiting for my girlfriend to come home to her loving boyfriend.” Loving my ass, Alanna thought to herself. Your fist is loving my face. “I want you to take me to the house where you’ll be staying. If you insist on following this stupid job, then I’m at least going to see where you’re staying. I’m warning you, Alanna. You’re trying my patience and you know what happens when I get mad. We don’t want to have another accident like last time.” Alanna nodded, not having enough strength to fight him.
“Let me pack and then you can follow me over there in your car.” She hurried to her room and started grabbing her clothes. Lately, the faster she did the things that Brett wanted, the less she seemed to meet his fist. She hated the fact that she had become the one thing she never thought she would become; a statistic, another woman who didn’t have the strength to leave her abusive boyfriend, the woman who defends the man that hits her, hides what he does. When she had finished packing, she got into her car, Brett following behind her. Her heart was pounding wildly and her hands were sweating. When they pulled into the driveway, they both got out of their cars.
“This is it.” She walked up the stairs to the door, Brett in hot pursuit. The band members were in the kitchen, finishing their lunches before heading down to record more music. When Brett saw the five guys, and Ashley’s good looks, he grabbed her arm. Hard.
“Guys, this is my boyfriend Brett. Brett, these are the members of O-town. Dan, Erik, Trevor, Jacob, and Ashley.” Alanna said it through clenched teeth. Ashley was watching them, watching Brett’s hand on her arm, anger tinting his cheeks crimson.
“Nice to meet you all.” Brett said politely, part of an act he put on in front of other people. The guys, all except Ashley, had finished their lunch and scattered after the introduction. “It’s a great house honey. I hope you have fun and I’ll see you soon.” The minute that Brett was out the door, Ashley was by her side. Brett’s tight grip had left a hand print, red on her tan skin, and bruises were starting to form.
“I’m going to ask you again.” Ashley said. “Does Brett hit you?” Alanna shook her head, tears filling her gray eyes. Ashley brought his lips down to her arm, placing gently kisses all along the hand print. Alanna started crying at the sweet gesture. He continued placing kisses up her arm to her shoulder, moving his soft kisses up to her neck. Ashley placed feather light kisses along her jaw, finally stopping at her lips. Their lips met passionately, and they kissed for a few minutes, each savoring the kisses as a parched person savored a quenching drink of water. Ashley pulled her into a hug, leaning down to whisper into her ear.
“I love you.” His breath tickled her ear.
“I love you too Ashley.” She gazed into his cobalt eyes and smiled. “I always have. I always will.”
****************************
Ashley Parker Angel
June 17, 2002
Despite my best efforts, I’m actually starting to like writing in this stupid journal. Just like my friends said, it helps sort out feelings, and the things that happen with Alanna. I actually think that I love her more now then I did when we first met. This is amazing because my love for her overwhelmed me, and to think that I was capable of loving her more than that is just plain scary. Much to my enjoyment, now she seems to care more about us, our love, more than her job, which is good. I don’t think I could take it if she chose her job over me. Again.
***********************
Alanna Murray
June 17, 2002
I love Ashley Parker Angel with all my heart and soul. Brett doesn’t compare, even my best friend Jake Quinn doesn’t compare. No man does. For the first time in my life, I am confident in something. Ashley is the one for me. I love my job, and I love writing. But even writing doesn’t make me happy if Ashley isn’t with me. I have needed the love that he offers so willingly for so long, that I would be a fool if I were to give this up. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want anybody to stand in the way of me and Ashley, but there’s Vivienne, and Brett, who presents the biggest problem. We’re both dating other people now, and that fact should be respected. I just don’t think I can take having to choose between Ashley and my job. Again.
*********************
It wasn’t until the next day that Alanna met the infamous Shelli. She had been finishing her breakfast, actually having a good morning, when she saw her. With her black hair and pale complexion, she really couldn’t see what Ashley saw in her. Shelli was whiny too. Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh? Alanna thought to herself. You haven’t even been introduced to her yet. As if on cue, Ashley came forward with Shelli. The look in Ashley’s eyes told her that he didn’t want to introduce the two, or even be with Shelli at the moment.
“Alanna, this is Shelli.” Shelli smiled and Alanna smiled back. “Shelli, this is Alanna Murray. She’s the main writer and editor of our website.” Shelli nodded.
“It’s nice to meet you.” Alanna nodded.
“Likewise.” Shelli turned to Ashley.
“I have to go. I just wanted to stop by and say hi.” She turned to Alanna. “It was nice to have finally met you after hearing so much about you.”
“The pleasure was all mine.” Shelli’s eyes had a hardened look to them, and Alanna knew that she wasn’t as stupid as she looked. She knew that Ashley was still in love with Alanna. There was no illusion there. When she left, Ashley and Alanna sat down at the kitchen table.
“Why are you with her if you both know that you’re not in love with each other anymore?” Ashley thought for a moment before responding.
“Good question. It’s about safety, and ties to my old life.” When Alanna looked confused, Ashley attempted to explain. “A relationship with Shelli is safe because there is no passion, no overwhelming love that makes me want to throw caution out the window. Shelli was my first love, she’ll always have a place in my heart, but that’s in the past. Since she was my first love, Shelli has the strongest ties to Redding. When things went downhill with you, I just wanted to have something that reminded me of when my life was normal, and I wasn’t in the spotlight, when our love was innocent and blossoming. I’m with her now because I needed that safety, that normalness when I lost you.” Alanna nodded in understanding. “Why did you choose your job over me?” Alanna winced, hating the bluntness of the question, yet admiring him for having the strength to hear the answer.
“All my life, my parents have never paid attention to anything I did. I think they’re pretty lucky that I turned out good because I basically raised myself. I didn’t do drugs or party because I was busy trying to impress them, trying to make them see that I had a flair for writing. I think my parents were raised in environments where they were shown the same attitude and it just kinda rubbed off on them. I don’t think that I’ll ever know because not once, and I mean not once, did we ever sit down and actually have a conversation as a family. I barely know my family, on either my mother or my father’s side. They’re from Palm Beach, where lies become everyone’s lives.” She paused and realized she was getting off track, but Ashley actually looked interested. “I chose my job over you because, while you finally showed me the love that I had been so desperately seeking, it scared me. I’ve never felt a love so profound, and so complete as the love that you show me. While I enjoy it, there’s still that little girl inside me, the little girl who was denied love from the two people who should have shown it, and that little girl is scared. It makes me have doubts, and I thought that writing the biographies would finally make my parents see me, but I realized that I was just fooling myself. I had been fooling myself for years.”
“Wow.” Ashley breathed. “That is amazing. I learned more about you and your parents in that explanation that I did in that summer in Redding.” Alanna smiled.
“It feels good to talk about it. Do you want to know more?” Ashley nodded and Alanna continued.
“I was six when I first realized that my parents weren’t like other parents. My best friend, Jake Quinn, used to bake cookies with his mom every Friday afternoon. In fact, she treated me with more love and respect than my parents have in the twenty years that I have been around. I noticed that other moms and dads hugged their kids, and took them places, spent time together, and actually talked. The longest conversation I ever had with my parents was about three minutes long. That was with both of them, as I told them that I was the valedictorian of our high school and to tell them that the next day was my graduation. They responded by saying the usual brush off, ‘That’s great honey,’ and ‘I’m sorry, we have a very important party that we have to go to. We’re going to miss your graduation.’ My mother got drunk that night and didn’t pour herself into bed until almost dawn.”
“Her mother was the same way, my father told me one time. They live in their world of lies, and they’re happy there. My mother and father don’t have to deal with the fact that they have a daughter now. I’m out of their hair, and their house. To tell you the truth, I always felt like a unwanted guest in my house. That’s why I always spent so much time with Jake.” Ashley nodded.
“I remember him. Blond hair, green eyes, captain of the soccer team?” Alanna nodded. “He and I talked a couple of times.”
“He saved my life. If I hadn’t had him, and his mother, I would have gone crazy.” Alanna shrugged. “I have only one regret, and that is that I didn’t choose you and not my job. I can write about anything, not just about you and your band. I was stupid to not think about that. I would only walk away if your career was in danger.” Ashley smiled softly.
“You are amazing, Alanna.” Ashley whispered. “To have overcome something like that, to have become the amazing person you are today.” Alanna’s eyes filled with tears, and her heart felt like it could bust out of her chest. The man that was sitting in front of her was so amazing, so completely sweet, it made her heart ache. To be in love so deeply, so profoundly, at such a young age, was an amazing thing.
It was at that moment that Alanna Murray realized that Ashley Parker Angel was the man for her, the only man for her, and that no one was going to stand in the way.
Except Brett Hunter.
Chapter Four
Chapter Two
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