Darkest Days

1. Darkest Days

There are times
When I'm just a shell
When I do not feel anything for anyone
All I feel is hollow & bruised
Used up & mis-used
Forced to be someone I don't
Want to be
Have I failed somehow or some way
Will the weight of today
Finally pull me down to drown
In the depths of dispair
Where I am alone
Except for my rage?
My rage...My pain...
I hate my darkest days

2. Everything I Touch

The more I feel
The more I die
Nothing to give
Nothing inside

Everything I touch I break

I scratch and tear
Until it bleeds
I do not want
I only need
I only need
I only need...

Everything I touch I break

3. How Can I Hold On (Dog Attack)

Back when you were my life
You gave me something that I could live for.
Now everything's changed and you're
Gone but I'm still here waiting.

So how can I hold on
With nothing to hold on to...
Why should I hold on
When there's nothing to hold on to

Sex made me feel alive but now I'm
So bored with mindless passion
Drugs were someplace to hide but
They've left me feeling cold and empty

So how can I hold on
With nothing to hold on to...
Why should I hold on
When there's nothing to hold on to

I thought you were my friend, that you
Were someone I could turn to
But now, I realize you were a
Friend when you needed something

So how can I hold on
With nothing to hold on to...
Why should I hold on
When there's nothing to hold on to

4. Drugstore

You seduce me, lonely in your hell,
Naked and hungry, I crawl into your cell...
a virtual drugstore is piled on your bed,
I can't resist with your tongue inside my head

How can everything be justified by you?

You get off on watching me bleed...
You get off on feeding my disease.
This time will be perfect you explain.
Your tongue is deadly as a needle in my vein...

How can everything be justified by you?
How can my demise be justified by you?

I'm so tired of living for your touch.
I'm so tired of needing you so much.

How can everything be justified by you?
When did I decide to be crucified by you?
How can evyerthing be justified by you?
By you...

5. You Complete Me

I am lost in the darkness
Between to worlds and here
I'm struggling...
You're the light I've been seeking
'Cause my whole life there's been something missing...

Only you
Can make me whole
Just one touch and
You complete me

Rescue me from this black hole
That's sucked me in and left me dying
You're the truth that I've been seeking
'Cause my whole life I've been lying...

Only you
Can make me whole
Just one touch and
You complete me

God I pray you find me worthy
Of the right to stand beside you
And of your truth and of your passion
And of the right to sleep beside you

Only you
Can make me whole
Just one touch and
You complete me

6. Save Yourself

I know your life is empty
And you hate to face this world alone
So you're searching for an angel
Someone who can make you whole

I cannot save you. I can't even save myself

I know that you've been damaged
Your soul has suffered such abuse
But I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you...

I cannot save you. I can't even save myself

Please don't take pity on me

My life has been a nightmare
My soul is fractured to the bone
So if I must be lonely
I think I'd rather be alone...

You cannot save me
You can't even save yourself...
I cannot save you...I can't even save myself

7. Haunting Me

Everywhere I go I see your face
Every sound I hear is the sound of your voice
Why are you haunting me
Why I can't I let you go?
So everything about me is a lie
At least it seems that way
When I look in your eyes
The truth scares the shit out of me
Who ever said love is blood and love is real
Has never felt the way that I feel
What does it matter
What's done is done and I should
Get on with my life
Why are you haunting me
Well I don't know what it is
But I can't seem to make myself forget
Was it something that you said
Or is it all the guilt inside my head
Why are you haunting me

8. Torn Apart

I know I should have told you
But I was so afraid you'd leave
And now there's nothing left to say
Well nothing you'd believe
I never meant to hurt you with
The things I couldn't say
I promise you tomorrow while
Denying you today

These lies have torn my world apart

A darkness grows inside me in fading shades of grey
All the colors in the world are slowly sucked away
I'm sinking ever deeper to a place that's cold and black
I can't believe I've lost you and you're never coming back

These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart

9. Sometimes It Hurts

Six o'clock in the morning
My head is ready to explode
I can't believe I made it home alive
I don't remember where I went
Or what I was drinking
But I know it made me sick
And I'm not denying
That I get this way
When I try to get over you
I get this way
When I try to get over you
Sometimes it hurts so much
To lose the one you love
Sometimes it hurts so much
To lose the one you love
I tried so hard to hate you
But it only makes things worse
I only end up hating myself
And as my hatred grows
So do the lies
It's hard to face the truth sometimes
God I geel so useless
God I hate myself
When I try to get over you
I hate myself
How will I ever get over you?
Sometimes it hurts so much
To lose the one you love
And after all this time you'd think I'd understand the way you feel but no
I only think about myself
And it's driving you away
I always knew it would one day
Sometimes it hurts so much to lose
The one you love

10. Drowning

I'm drowning in nothing
Nothing real
Nothing left...nothing
I'm losing myself
Sinking deeper down

Sliently
Leaving this behind
Nothing left but me
I'm hating myself...
Hating
Everything hates me now

Everything has changed
Everyone has changed...
But me
Everyone has changed

11. Desperate Now

I keep breaking all the promises
That I keep making to myself
You'd think by now that I'd be over this
Instead I'm feeling sorry for myself

So why does everything seem desperate now
I should be feeling so alive
But it feels like something's missing
Something's wrong somehow
It feels like something
Deep inside has died

So why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel like dying
Why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel desperate now

I keep breaking all the promises
That I keep making to myself
But the promises mean nothing to me anymore
Circling the drain...
Spiraling to hell...

So why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel like dying
Why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel desperate now

12. Goodbye

So this is where I say goodbye
This is where my story ends
And if there's one thing I've
Learned from life
It's that it gets you in the end

So goodbye my friend
Goodbye
So goodbye my friend
Goodbye

13. When I'm Dead

I know the tears you're crying in your bed at night alone
I've cried those tears a thousand times
But those shallow empty songs about suicide are patronizing
You've got to learn to face your fears
Or do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
It can't silence all the voices in my head
I close my eyes but I can't make it go away...
Do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
When I'm dead
I know the songs you're singing, saying nothing loud and clear
I've heard that song a thousand times
But your noble empty lies about suicide are patronizing
You can never understand what I feel
Or do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
It can't silence all the voices in my head
I close my eyes but I can't make it go away...
Do you think I'll be less lonely
God I pray that I'm less lonely when I'm dead
When I'm dead

14. The Thing I Hate (P.O.M.F)

Lost in a world of doubt and insecurity
Nothing that you hold sacred nothing you believe
Your life is a contradiction,
While you thrive on manipulation,
I fight to just hold on to what I believe

I won't become the thing I hate...
I won't become the thing I hate...
I won't become the thing I hate...
I won't become you

You've treated me lie I'm a worthless piece of shit
You think you're in control but you make me sick
I want to watch you suffer,
The way that you've made me suffer,
I want to fuck up everything you've ever loved.

But I won't become the thing I hate...
I won't become the thing I hate...
I won't become you

15. On Your Way Down

I hope I see you on your way down
I hope you break every bone
I hope it kills you on your way down
I hope you die alone
All of your hate and all of your lies
Will it be worth it?
When all of your friends
Refuse to be alibis...
Will it be worth it?
I'll see you on your way down

It's kinda sad to watch you break down
You greedy fuck you pissed it all away
So who will catch you on your way down
You've only got yourself to blame
When all your worst fears...materialize
Will it be worth it?
There's nobody left who cares you're alive
Was it worth it?
I'll see you on your way down

16. Waking Up Beside You

I've been so alone for so long
Forgotten by the world, forgotten to myself
Your effervescent eyes have awakened me
And brushed the dust away...
But I knew you'd never stay.
So I memorized the color of your eyes
As I lost myself inside you.
I memorized the way our legs entwined
As I drifted off beside you.
I miss
God I miss waking up beside you...

At night I cling to you I'm so afraid
Afraid the day will come,
And I'll wake and find you gone
But you promise that you'd not abandon me
And kissed my fears away...
But I woke up to that day...
But I had memorized the way our eyes would meet
Reflected in the bathroom mirror.
And I memorized your naked silhouette
As you slowly brushed your hair...
I miss, God I miss waking up beside you...

I've been alone for so long...
I forgot how much it hurts to wake up so alone...
But I'd memorized how warm your body felt
As you lay half asleep beside me.
And I memorized the way the sunlight filled the room
And played upon your body...
I miss, God I miss waking up beside you...





Stabbing Westward

1. So Far Away

Each night I feel the distance that has grown between us
Open up as lonely as the space between the stars
I wish that I could find a way
To smash my fist right through these walls
Of ugliness and emptiness
and gently touch your face

(CHORUS)
But every time that I touch you
You feel so far away
And every time that you need me
I feel so far away

As you lie silently beside me choking back your tears
I wonder if you recognize
That silence now defines us
Desperately I try to fight this overwhelming sense
That I may never find
The strength to change
How hopeless we've become

(CHORUS)
And every time that I touch you
You feel so far away
And every time that you need me
I feel so far away

BRIDGE
We need to find a way to break this silence
We need to find a way to break this silence
We need to find a way to break this silence that's between us
So I scream your name

(CHORUS)
But every time that I touch you
You feel so far away
And every time that you need me
I feel so far away
And every time that you reach out
You feel me pull away
And every time that I touch you, I touch you, I touch you
You feel so far away

2. Perfect

Lately I've noticed
How much you've changed
Even though you swear
You're the same
So why do I feel
A million miles away?
Why do I feel
Like we're broken?

(CHORUS)
Why can't it be
Perfect like it used to be?
Why can't we be
Perfect?

Perfect is how I
Once described our love
But that was before
We fell apart

So why do I feel
A million miles away? Why do I feel
Like we're broken?

(CHORUS)
Why can't it be
Perfect like it used to be?
Why can't we be
Perfect?

It used to be perfect

Lately I've noticed
How much you've changed
Even though you swear
You're the same

(CHORUS)
Why can't it be
Perfect like it used to be?
Why can't we be
Perfect?

It used to be perfect

3. I Remember

Do you ever wonder where
We would be if we'd have tried
A little harder?
It seems like yesterday
That we were making plans
For the future

But it's been so long
Since I have known the truth
These dreams we've left abandoned

And I'm haunted by your face
And the memory of your kisses
Sweet kisses

Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcend space and time

These memories slip away
The ghost of what we were
Is fading

But there is no more pain
Which is funny 'cause that night
I was dying
I was dying

Now I don't even recognize
The girl I swore that someday
I would marry

But I can't forget her face
And I can't forget her kisses
Sweet kisses

Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember always feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcend space and time

Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
Or how we swore that we would never be alone
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
'Cause I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcend space and time
Do you remember?
God I remember so much

4. Wasted

I 've spent
My life
Running from the emptyness
That haunts me
And I've spent
My whole life
Trying to fuck
The loneliness away

And I die
Inside
When I think of all the people
I have damaged

And I'm tired
I'm so tired
And there's no one else
Except myself to blame

(CHORUS)
My life's been wasted
Everything is gone
My life's been wasted
And I am all alone
My life's been wasted
There is no one else
My life's been wasted
It's time I face myself

I've spent
My life
Trapped inside
A cycle of self destruction

And I've spent
My whole life
Trying to numb
The pain inside my soul
And furious
I cry
When I realized
I fought this war with no one

I'm tired
I'm so fucking tired
Gotta find a way
To keep myself alive

(CHORUS)
My life's been wasted
Everything is gone
My life's been wasted
And I am all alone
My life's been wasted
There is no one else
My life's been wasted
It's time I face myself

When I reach the end
Will anything I've done
Mean anything?

Will anything I've done mean anything?

(CHORUS)
My life's been wasted
Everything is gone
My life's been wasted
And I am all alone
My life's been wasted
There is no one else
My life's been wasted
It's time I face myself

5. Happy

I know you've grown to hate me
Even more than you have
Grown to hate yourself
But has it really made a difference?
Sharing all that hate
With someone else?

(CHORUS)
Please tell me
Are you really happy?
Do you think he's really worth the pain?
Tell me
Are you really happy?
Or did you simply throw our life away
Just to be unhappy?

Does he worship and adore you?
Does he make you feel so
Beautifully complete?

Is your life so much better now?
Or do the same
Old demons haunt your sleep?

(CHORUS)
Please tell me
Are you really happy?
Do you think he's really worth the pain?
Tell me
Are you really happy?
Or did you simply throw our life away
Just to be unhappy?

Is he everything you've dreamed of?
I'd imagine he is
So much more than me

You know I tried to make you happy
But I believe
You thrive on misery

(CHORUS)
Please tell me
Are you really happy?
Do you think he's really worth the pain?
Tell me
Are you really happy?
Or did you simply throw our life away
Just to be unhappy?

6. The Only Thing

All I need
Is the air you breath
All I need
Is the air I breathe

All you need
Is the air we breathe

All I need
Is the air I breathe

There are so many things
We need so desperately
And the TV preaches
We can't live without them

You tell me what is neat
I'll tell ya what I believe
If I ever were without it
Then I'd be worthless

'Cause you are everything
The only thing that matters
You are everything
The only thing that I need
You are everything
The only thing that matters
Yes you are everything
You are the air I breathe

I wonder if some day
We took all their toys away
Do you think they'd find the strength
To go on living?

'Cause deep inside I know
If I lost everything I owned
I'd be a king
As long as you're beside me

'Cause you are everything
The only thing that matters
Yes you are everything
The only thing I need
My love means everything
The only thing that matters
Yes you are everything
You are the air I breathe

The air I breathe

I hope someday they find
A place to bid online
Where all lost souls
Can find themselves some meaning

I know we'll survive
All we need's more time
As long as we've got love, and art,
and the ocean

And we are everything
The only thing that matters
We are everything
There's nothing else I need
Our love is everything
The only thing that matters
Cause we are everything
You are the air I breathe

The air I breathe

You are everything
The only thing that matters
You are everything
There's nothing else I need
Yes you are everything
The only thing that matters
Our love is everything
You are the air I breathe

You are everything
You are the air I breathe
The air I breathe

7. Angel

I believed that love was sacred
As I dove blindly into her sea
You see, that warm embrace felt more like drowning
As endless waves crashed over me
She was an insatiable black hole
Feeding off my mind and off my soul
I find love humilating
Sick and desperate need that drains me
God I hope I never feel again

(CHORUS)
But I've never been loved by an angel
I've never felt anything so pure
I've never been loved by an angel
Until tonight your heaven filled my room

She showed me love could lift me higher
With a kiss she reparied these broken wings
She revived my fading spirit
Restored my faith in everything

I have never felt I had a home
Even in a crowd I felt alone
I'd almost given up on life
I'm fully determined now
And never thought I'd ever feel again

(CHORUS)
But I've never been loved by an angel
I've never felt anything so pure
I've never been loved by an angel
Until tonight your heaven filled my room

I believed in nothing
But you believe in me
I thought that life was worthless
But you told me I'm a star

(CHORUS)
But I've never been loved by an angel
I've never felt anything so pure
I've never been loved by an angel
Until tonight your heaven filled my room

8. Breathe You In

Tomorrow came too soon
I barely made it through today
Still empty inside
I guess nothing's really changed
I'm still afraid to feel
'Cause I cannot take the pain
I'm still afraid to feel
Afraid to lose someone again

I wish that somehow
I could leave
My past behind
My fears behind

(CHORUS)
If I could only breathe you in
Every drop of you

I guess it's time to face the truth
And admit my past mistakes
Come to terms with all that's wrong with me
And all the things I'll never be

Why am I afraid to feel?
Afraid of what is true?
Why am I afraid to feel?
When all I really want is you?

To taste your skin
To share your thoughts
Would never be enough for me

(CHORUS)
If I could only breathe you in
Every drop of you

9. High

I can't hide it
I can't find it
When every nerve is
Crying out for release
I can't capture
The rapture
That passion that is
Burning inside me

I've lost so much
Chasing the perfect high
I've lost so much

(CHORUS)
I've never been as high as I was with you
Never been so high
I've never been as high as I was with you
I finally realized love's a perfect high
Love's a perfect high

This hunger
It consumes me
I lost my soul as you came rushing
In my veins

A pathetic
Little junkie
But I'm the whore
That needs it one last time

I've lost so much
Chasing the perfect high
I've lost so much

(CHORUS)
I've never been as high as I was with you
Never been so high
I've never been as high as I was with you
I finally realized love's a perfect high
Love's a perfect high

Love's a perfect high

10. Television

I sit alone contemplating
What is missing inside me
I desperately try to remember
A life that's not meant to be
I meditate
And try to recapture
Some sense of reality
In my life (?)

When I look around
I see numb empty faces
The world is waiting to die

And this apathy
Is so suffocating
The slow decay of my mind

I've searched the world
For someone with answers
To questions that are plaguing me

I scream in vain
To anyone who'll listen
But everbody's watchin' TV

Is anyone alive?

Am I lost in a world
Where nothing matters?

Am I lost in a world
Where no one cares?

Is anyone alive?

Are we lost in a world
Where nothing matters?

Are we lost in a world
Where no one cares?

Is anyone alive?