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Journal
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Starting third semester is pretty scary. This is the time when we know all the information, but we have to develop our own unique style as a paramedic. This means you're on your own now. I mean, the paramedic preceptor is still there, if you mess up (which you better not!) but other than that, you're the solo medic in charge on scene. I'm finding that a little hard to swallow, because I have such little confidence in myself as a paramedic. I have the skills, but I don't really have my own pace yet, so I seem to stumble a lot, which is a vicious circle to low self esteem. I feel proud when I can get the IV, know what is going on with the patient and quickly diagnose it, and correctly treat it, but you have to be able to do this so quickly, and I'm still at the point where I have to think about things before I do them, which you're not supposed to do, I guess this is just supposed to be second nature by now, which it definitely is not!
I'm finding it pretty frustrating that I have to reach a quota on ALS calls, and I'm not talking IV, O2, monitor, which is what the county calls ALS. I have to push drugs, or get a trauma alert, or do something like decompress a lung or something that even long time medics haven't done yet. I haven't even gotten a chance to intubate someone yet! I think that's a pretty important skill to master as a paramedic. I have to have 13 ALS calls by the end of June. It's June 14th now, and I only have like 3.
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