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Murphy's Laws on Combat Operations
  1. Friendly Fire-isn't
  2. Recoilless rifles-aren't
  3. Suppressive fires-won't
  4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
  5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
  6. If its stupid but it works, it isnt stupid
  7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy might be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
  8. If at first you dont succeed, call in an airstrike.
  9. If you are foward of your posistion, your artillery will fall short.
  10. Never share a foxhole with anyone brave then yourself.
  11. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
  12. Never forget that your weapon was mad by the lowest bidder.
  13. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
  14. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is there main attack.
  15. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions when they're ready
  16. When you're not
  17. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
  18. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
  19. Five second fuzes always burn three seconds.
  20. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
  21. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
  22. The important things are simple, the simple things are hard.
  23. The easy way is always mined.
  24. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
  25. Don't look conspicous' it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
  26. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
  27. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
  28. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
  29. Incoming fire has the right of way.
  30. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
  31. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
  32. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
  33. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
  34. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
  35. Things that must work together, cant be carried to the field taht way.
  36. Radios will fall apart as soon as you need fire support.
  37. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.
  38. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
  39. Make it too tough for the enmy to get in, and you wont be able to get out.
  40. Tracers work both ways.
  41. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
  42. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
  43. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of crazy amateurs.
  44. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
  45. Fortify your front;you'll get your rear shot up.
  46. Weater aint neutral.
  47. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards you.
  48. Air defense motto:shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground,
  49. Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.
  50. The cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
  51. Napalm is an area support weapon.
  52. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
  53. B-52's are the ultimate close support weapon.
  54. Sniper's Motto:reach out and touch somebody.
  55. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
  56. The one item you need is always in short supply.
  57. Interchangeable parts aren't.
  58. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
  59. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
  60. The side with the simplest uniform wins.
  61. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
  62. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
  63. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
  64. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass
  65. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plans.
  66. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colnel's HQ
  67. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
  68. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
  69. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
  70. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
  71. Whenever you have pleanty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
  72. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired
  73. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
  74. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  75. No matter which way you have to march, it is always uphill.
  76. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
  77. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (In boot camp)
  78. Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
  79. When reviewing the radio freaquencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
  80. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or MIA
  81. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
  82. To steel information from a person is called plagerism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering itelligence.
  83. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60
  84. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.
  85. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
  86. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor
  87. A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
  88. Murphy was a grunt
  89. Beer Math-> 2 Beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
  90. Body count Math->3 guerrillias plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action
  91. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
  92. All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
  93. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearence.
  94. The crucial round is a dud.
  95. Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
  96. There is no such p;ace as a convenient foxhole.
  97. Dont't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
  98. If your posistions are firmly set and you are prepared to yake the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
  99. If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it.
  100. If you flank march is going well,the enemy expects you to outflank him.
  101. Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
  102. Odd objects attract fire-never lurk behind one.
  103. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
  104. The self-importance of a superior is inverselly proportional to his position in the heirarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
  105. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
  106. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
  107. The enemy never monitors your radio freaquency until you brodcast on an unsecured channel.
  108. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.
  109. As soon as it served hot chow in the field, it rains.
  110. Never tell the Platoon sergeant you have nothing to do.
  111. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
  112. Walking point=sniper bait
  113. Your bivouac for the night is the spot is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
  114. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
  115. All or any of the above combined.
  116. Guided Missiles aren't,
  117. The enemy always flys into your sights when your Vulcan is out of ammo.
  118. Your plane was made by the cheapest bidder, with the cheapest material, with the cheapest labor.
  119. The enemy always has a lock on.
  120. Fuel only lasts as long as it takes to meet the enemy.
  121. An air craft carrier is exactly one foot less then the amount of space you need to land at 400 mph.
  122. The amount of time you need to escape a missile is inversely proportional to the skill of the pilot.
  123. The pilots ability to get a clear shot is inversely proportional to the gunner's ability to hit the broad side of a barn.
  124. Broad side's of barns always hold the AA guns.
  125. So do trains.
  126. Unfriendlies are anything that moves on the ground. Shoot everything.
  127. Though the air is your friend, your fuel is not. Expect your fuel to run out when you need it most.
  128. The enemy fighters always have more fuel.
  129. All weather fighters cease to work in bad weather.
  130. Stealth fighters cease to work with enemy radar.
  131. That tank you just dive bombed? It had a buddy.
  132. For every enemy fighter you take out, there is always a wall of AA fire to take its place.
  133. AA fire comes from both directions.
  134. Long Range fighters, aren't.
  135. Anything with the words Advanced, New, Fully-Operational, or Top-of-the-Line, isn't.
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