~meanwhile, my P.O.V.~
"I knew this was too good to be true. God my life is fucked up. What am I going to do, Romeo?" He just looked at me with a blank stare. "Nevermind. So where should we go? To the park or the woods? I'm thinking the park, eh?" And we made our way to the park that was a mile or so down the river. All the while I talked to Romeo.
"Why would he do that to me? Do you think it was revenge for saying I'd sleep with his best friend or his brother? Romeo, it was only a theoretical question. I know-- then why did I kiss Zac?" I had to stop and think about it for awhile. "I have no clue. But if Taylor and I are ever able to get past this nothing will ever happen betwen Zac & me again. I swear. Do you hear me Romeo? Nothing, ever again."
We got to the park and celebrated the new year by me sitting ont a swing overlooking the river and Romeo sitting next to the swing... watching me die of a broken heart. I needed to just go home and go to bed.
Fifteen minutes laster put Romeo back in his kennel. I looked in the patio door-- the majority of people were still there. I opened the door & almost all heads turned towards me. "Hey."
"Hi Amy. Are you ok?" Melissa asked.
"What do you think?" I snapped. I saw the hurt on her face and I took her by the shoulders. "God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap." And I hugged her. She hugged me back.
"That's okay. I shouldn't have asked."
"Hey Amy!!!" Care yelled. I looked over at her. "Happy New Years!!" And she ran towards me and hugged me.
"Amy!" Beth yelled from the kitchen. "I know we were in SADD and all but mom left these for us for the New Year's and I was wondering if you wanted some." She said as she took out a bottle of champagne & 3 six-packs of wine coolers.
"Yeah. I'll take a fuzzy navel wine cooler, a strwberry/kiwi wine cooler and a glass of champagne." I sad as I walked over to her, grabbed my drinks and left. "I'm going to bed."
"Are you okay?" Ashley asked. I turned around enough to shoot him the evil eye. My way to say "Anyone ask again and I'll lose it." Ashley put his hands up in surrender.
I went upstairs, dropped off my drinks in the rec room, opened the door to my room and found taylor fast asleep. Tear stains down his face. I resisted the urge to climb into bed with him, grabbed two blankets from my trunk and my pillow off the bed, and went back to the rec room. I made myself a bed on the couch, drank my champagne and put in my Britney Spears CD. I put it on number 5, "Born To Make You Happy". The song fit the situation perfectly. As I listened to the words I cried to myself and drank my wine coolers. She sang right to my soul and it tore me apart.
"(1) I'm sitting here alone up in my room ~ I think about the times that we've been through ~ all my love ~ I'm looking at a picture in my hand ~ trying me best to understand ~ I really want to know what we did wrong ~ with a love that felt so strong ~ if only you were here tonight ~ I know that we could make things right ~ CHORUS: I don't know how to live without your love ~ I was born to make you happy ~ cause you're the only one within my heart ~ I was born to make you happy ~ always and forever, you and me ~ that's the way our life should be ~
I don't know how to live without your love ~ I was born to make you happy ~ (2) I know I've been a fool since you've been gone ~ I'd rather give it all up than carry on ~ all my love ~ cause living in a dream of you and me ~ is not the way my life should be ~ I don't want to cry a tear for you ~ so forgive me if I do ~ if only you were here tonight ~ I know we could make it right ~ (Chorus) ~ (3) I'd do anything ~ I'd give you my world ~ I'd wait forever ~ to be your girl ~ just call out my name ~ and I will be there ~ just to show you ~ how much I care ~ (chorus)."
I cried myself to sleep. Wondering what I was going to do about this. And mom & dad. What was I going to tell them?
Chapter 34: "Making It Through The Day"