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PERSONALS
1.
Looking For More Than 100%?
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Paula Abdule; 47, Don Mills, Ontario
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Single gal looking for a man 30-40. What you see is what you get plus that extra one per cent! I cook and clean. I'm super lean! Maybe you will be my Mr. Bean (sic) Call 555-2211
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2.
Ahoy there! Scuttle me Skippers!
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Jack; 25, Herniated Gut, Newfoundland & labrador
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Freshly divorced, serial adulterer seeking a well rounded wench to quench me thirst bye! Shiver me timbers! Land ahoy etc.. Now where's me Cap'n Morgan? Call 555-4545
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3.
Don't Get Me Excited!
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Claire; 23, Riverview, New Brunswick
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People often tell me I look like Kate Beckinsale. I'm not so sure (giggle). looking for that very special man to sweep me off my tiny toes and into the throes of love! I love reading, writing and picking my nose then rolling boogers between my finger and thumb and um... yes I sweat in hot temperatures so... come and cool me off! 555-
3457
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4.
Do You Think I'm Funny???
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Kenny; 29, Moncton, New Brunswick
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Looking for a gaming chick to hang out with. Must be punctual, presentable, be able to multi-task, endure long hours of hardcore stimulation and be a superb problem solver under intense pressure. Call 555-GAME
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5.
Trouty Pouty Anyone?
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Svetlana; 35, Gdansk, Poland
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Jak sie masz? Pragne Cie! I am desperate! With all the big men running away in England my country has only little men left now. Pragne Cie! Most of my town is now average age of 75 years. No fun with men like that. Maybe you English men leave your country and come live here in Poland. Nice country. Nice girls here. Good plastic surgery also. Porozmawiajmy! Let's Talk! Call 555-999-4545454-987342-A1
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6.
Beer And Curry EV-ERY Night!
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Rolly Royce; 41, Birmingham, UK
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Oi-Oi what are you doing Friday? I know what I would like to do - and I would like to do it with you! Right-on! I'll make sure to wear a clean pair of keks, splash a bit of Brut on and Oi-Oi!!! A few beers and a Curry and Bob's yer f**king Uncle!!! Call me 555-5671
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7.
A Wee Bit O' Wit Yer Fancie
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Gudrun; 69, Glasgae, Scoitland
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Och aye! Hut-na, hut-na hut! Tha's reet let yer mama cum runnin' afta yee! Ayl tell thee now, If yer a hard bairn like me, you'll ne'er hafta rely an eny-wan else tha's fer sure! Hut-na, hut-na hut! Ma muthrr an fathurr beat me silly when I was a wee kiddy. So don't come tae me wid yer friggin sob stories! If yer wan a wee bit of slap n' tickle giss a call noo 555-4533
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8.
Famous TV Crab Boat Skipper
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Elliot; 29, Dutch Harbor, Alaska
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The reason why you should spend time with me is because I am on a reality TV show called 'Deadliest Catch'. I am the kick-ass Captain of the Fishing vessel 'Revolting Mary'. Nobody is more decisive and caring about other people than me. I love the Sea, I love to fish but I also need some love too. If your into clueless dimwits who enjoy looking stupid on cable TV then you should be with me :0). Call Elliot 555-8989
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9.
Take It Or Leave It
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Bella; 19, Tiptree, Essex, UK
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I could murder a piece of cake right now. Friggin starvin'! Just writing this shit makes me want to stuff my cake-hole! Get a grip Bella! Yeah! Yeah! Whateva! What a girl needs innit! Get me to the Church on time and all that malarkey. I just want to meet a Jason or a Darren who will look after me and the little ones while I drink, eat and claim benefits. Know what I mean? Call 555-3489
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10.
Baconator
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Bovis; 39, Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
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I have read that a rasher a day keeps the baldness at bay. So don't be alarmed ladies. I only drape rashers of uncooked bacon onto my head first thing in the morning. It starts to cook as the day wears on and believe me walking down Barrington Street on a hot summers day with bacon strips on your head is not pretty. That aside I am an excellent lover and companion. Call 555-2278
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11.
The Right Verdict Everytime
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Stacey; 31, New York, New York
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Hmm..the fresh smell of Croissants and hot chocolate every morning before I go to work just does it for me everytime. I am one rich and powerful lady, so for you to be the one you have to really respect me, pamper me and above all satisfy me. Be advised I win every time. Just saying... Call 555-7898
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12.
Beer Is In The Fridge!
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Jayson; 27, Winnipeg, Manitoba
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In Manitoba it is our custom to modify our lips. My lips have been modified to plug beer bottles into it. Appreciate me for who I am and I will be a happy man!
Call 555-9339
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13.
Your Heroine Has Arrived!
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Fantasma; 56, Beresford, New Brunswick
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Allo! Bernice 'ere. Le Premier Superheroine du L'acadie! So how is it going there? You know all Superheroine want a man. I am no different. I wanna be satisfied just like everyone else. Come on les boys. Frig! Make one old girl a well oiled old girl eh? Calle moi on 555-3673
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14.
Too Much Weed
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Telly Savalas; 26, Croydon, UK
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That aint me real name. Been a long time since I can remember me proper name. Me son nicked a laptop for me and now I got all computer savvy. Me needs a Julie to cook and clean. I get so messed up! I don't even know what country this is! My Pitbulls and Rotweilers run all over the neigbourhood terrorizing the neigbours. What can I do Man? Like I said me needs a Julie to put things right. Call 555-8112.
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15.
Short & Sweet
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Camilla; 62, Fredericton, New Brunswick
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Chain smoking has turned my skin into a dry, cracked, wrinkled mess. Aside from that and an awful love of Sherry and Port I still feel I need a little kick at the end of the day. Something to set off my libido. So if you want to pop on over for a bit of drunken middle aged sex. Why not? I'm usually home all day. Call 555-237
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| Greater Moncton Cavalier is not suitable for minors. © Copyright 2002-2012 Naughty Nigel Productions & Swordfish Designs
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