* Celeb Scandals! *

Sometimes people bite off a little more than they can chew. Like their daughters head for instance!
Yes, after countless bitter rows about Kelly's alleged adoration of Britney Spears, Ozzy Osbourne, shuffling God of rock, has bitten his own daughters head off.
Our picture shows a before and after demonstration of the scene of the argument.

Sharon has so far made no public comment, but is expected to sell the rights to Kelly's severed but still quite chirpy head to MTV for $10 million

It's a story we've all been waiting for. JK Rowling, author of such classics as the Harry Potter series and no wait... that's it, has finally revealed the plot of the final Harry Potter book.
A spokesman for the author today said:

"Yep, there's gonna be a big change in the last book. We're thinking, Hermione becomes a prostitute to fund Harry's new crack habit, whilst Ron (who lets face it, is the campest thing since the village people) discovers a sex-change spell."

We wish them all the best... but good lord imagine what the children will say?

Having recently put the wind up Yoko Ono with a nifty name switch on his latest (poor selling, boo hoo) live album, Paul McCartney isn't going to stop at "McCartney/Lennon".
A spokesperson for the slowly wrinkling pop lord has agreed that the star is considering a new business venture. "Yes, we are thinking of opening up a name change service. Spencer and Marks, Fitch and Abercrombie... washing powder by Gambol and Proctor".
The debate over how this may affect his legions of fans rages on, whilst his wife Heather sits at home counting the money. I hope she doesnt spend it getting legless!!

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