Harry Dresden Wizard for hire -commerical jingle- Written by Ginger Strivelli "When you're in trouble or trouble's in you there is only one thing to do call Harry Dresden, he's in the book under w if you look W for wizard, yes wizard but he won't ask you to pick a card and don't ask him for the lotto picks or for love spells or such tricks. He's the real deal and hard to kill though things keep trying yes things, but he's not dying. He fights them all for a fee okay sometimes for free. Harry Dresden is your man if you have an evil frying pan, or a infestation of fairies, or your in-laws turned into bees, no matter how weird your problem Harry Dresden, the Wizard, can solve 'em"
MY favorite Dresden Files one-liners: (From the Books by Jim Butcher and the show from the SCIFI channel )
My fav quote-thanks for the graphic of it goes to Drake Spaeth who made it!
Listen to me," I snarled, "We are not going to die. . . . Because Thomas is too pretty to die. Because I'm too stubborn to die. . . . And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die." - Harry “...age is always advancing and I'm fairly sure it's up to no good. .” -Harry "What you know about women I could juggle..." - Bob the skull(book-Bob is JUST a skull for those of you who‘ve only seen the show) "You're a single man aren'tcha? How's your salami........sandwich, honey?" -Marie,(from the episode Boone Idenity) "An errand is getting a tank of gas or picking up a carton of milk or something. It is not getting chased by flying purple pyromaniac gorillas hurling incendiary poo." -Thomas "Jobs are a part of life. Maybe you've heard of the concept. It's called work? See, what happens is that you suffer through doing annoying and humiliating things until you get paid not enough money. Like those Japanese game shows, only without all the glory". “Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.”-Harry “I see someone had a nice big bowl of Fanatic-Os this morning." -Harry “When you do something stupid and die it's pathetic. But when you do something stupid and live it's heroic."-Harry "Yeah, chocolate. Chocolate fends off all kinds of nasty stuff. And if you get hungry while warding off evil, you have a snack. It's multipurpose equipment." -Harry "Trying to get a straight answer from a faerie is like pulling teeth...through your nose!" -Harry Harry: “We should have some kind of signal.” Butters: “Yeah, I'll immitate the scream of a frightened teenage girl.” “You're dressed like Frankenhooker and your hair has been dyed colors I previously thought only existed in cotton candy."-Harry
"That's a paradox, and it can have all kinds of nasty backlash. Theory holds it could even destroy our universe if it happened in a weak enough spot. But that’s never been proven, and never happened. You can tell, on account of how everything keeps existing."-Bob "I went down the ladder to my workroom - and started figuring out how to rip someone's heart out of his chest from fifty miles away.”-Harry Susan's fingers wandered... "Your mouth says no... but this says yes." ..."That thing is always saying something stupid." -Harry "Let he who hath never worn parachute pants cast the first stone."-Harry “I should say that Santa is a much bigger and more powerful faery than Toot, and I don't know his true name anyway. You'd never see me trying to nab Saint Nick in a magic circle, even if I did… I don't think anyone has stones that big."-Harry "Well, Magellan, no baserunning or boldly going where no man has gone before for you not until you get yourself grounded"-Harry "'Holy shit,' I breathed. 'Hellhounds.' 'Harry,' Michael said sternly. 'You know I hate it when you swear.' 'You're right. Sorry. Holy shit,' I breathed. 'Heckhounds'". “Relationships hadn't ever really worked for me. I think it's had something to do with all the demons, ghosts, and human sacrifice".-Harry Murphy: “I've been fighting this computer all day long. I swear, if you blow out my hard drive again, I'm taking it out of your ass.” “Why would your hard drive be in my ass?” -Harry "I leaned against my door with my eyes closed, trying to think. I was scared. Not in that half-pleased adrenaline-charged way, but quietly scared. Wait-on-the-results-of-medical-tests scared. It's a rational sort of fear that puts a lawn chair down in the front of your thoughts and brings a cooler of drinks along with it." “Over the years I've learned that ignorance is more than just bliss. It's freaking orgasmic ecstasy". -Harry "Bank guys get so hung up about things like bad credit histories and people who fill in the "occupation" blank of the application with wizard. I guess it could have been worse. I could have been filling out the reason the loan was needed with pay off mercenary for services rendered”-Harry “I paused just before I opened the shop's door and walked outside. It was one of those moments that would have had dramatic music if my life was a movie, but instead I got a radio jingle for some kind of submarine sandwich place blaring over the store's ambient stereo. The movie of my life must be really low-budget.”-Harry
< “You always a wiseass?” “No, sometimes, I’m asleep.”-Harry That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos." -Harry "It gets sort of Zen after a while." Butters said brightly. "Life is a journey. Time is a river. The door is ajar." "Have you ever been approached by a grim-looking man, carrying a naked sword with a blade about ten miles long in his hand, in the middle of the night, beneath the stars on the shores of Lake Michigan? If you have, seek professional help. If you have not, then believe you me, it can scare the bejeezus out of you."-Harry “I've never had anyone ask me to bless a five gallon drum into holy water before, Mr. Dresden.”-Father Forthill “We have now left Reason and Sanity Junction. Next stop, Looneyville.” -Bob “And I swear to you, by my own stunning good looks and towering ego, that I'm not lying to you.”-Thomas “I'd hate to find out that the universe really wasn't conspiring against me."-Harry "I've filled my insincere courtesy quota for the day." -Harry “Well, as plans go, I guess it sounds good. Except for that middle part where I die.”-Harry Harry: “So lots of art and money moving around, changing hands, being shipped hither and yon. Susan :-“Hither, maybe, but I don't think UPS does yon." “I can’t sleep well any night I haven’t inflicted a little property damage,”-Harry "So she did you a little favor," I said. "Technically," Thomas said, "she did you a little favor." "Why did she do that?" I asked. "Well, I hinted about how since her entire power base depended on a certain secret being kept, and since you were awfully irrational about protecting the good citizens of Chicago, that you might develop loose lips to sink her ship if she didn't help you in your moment of need." "Um," I said. "So you're telling me that I just engaged in blackmail against the ruler of the White Court. By proxy." "Yeah," Thomas said. "You've got some great big brass balls on you to do something like that, Harry." "I guess I do." I shook my head.
"Even with a relatively minor summoning you never let them see you flinch."-Harry Dresden "I gritted my teeth and tried to summon up a salvo fo snark."-Harry Dresden "Once I'd done that, proved that I knew where my backbone was, I was able to use it as a refernce point to find my larynx."-Harry Dresden "Punctuality is for people with nothing better to do." Harry Dresden
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