Enough Pagan lightbulb jokes to insult everybody....
Q--How many Gardnerians does it take to change a light bulb?
A--"Sorry, that's a Third Degree mystery."
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Q--How many Alexandrians does it take to change a light bulb?
A--"Let's go see how the Gardnerians do it!"
A--Thirteen; a High Priestess to change the bulb, and 12 coven
members to
hold her up under all that jewelry!
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Q--How many British Traditional Witchess does it take to change a
light
bulb?
A--Thirteen; one to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the old bulb's
passing.>
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Q--How many Dianic women does it take to change a light bulb?
A--One, and it's not funny, dammit!
A--and That's W-I-M-M-I-N, and it's not funny!"
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Q--How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb?
A--None; Crowley never wrote a book about it.
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Q--How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb?
A--501; one to change the bulb, and 500 to align the new stone.
A--Six; one to change the bulb, one to write a song about how much
better
the old bulb was, and four to write conflicting parodies of the
second
Druid's song.
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Q--How many Fam-Trad Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
A--"Candlelight was good enough for our ancestors; it's good enough
for
us!
" A--"Go ask your own Grandmother!"
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Q--How many Starhawk Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
A--"There are starving villagers in Africa who don't even HAVE
lightbulbs!"
A--"When you have enough self-esteem, you won't need to change the
bulb!"
A--"Good Womyn who love bad light bulbs...get your copy now, where ever better books are sold."
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Q--How many Silver RavenWolf Witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A--Five. Her, her make-up artist, her hairstylist, her costume designer, (To get her ready for the painter to paint her doing it) for her next book cover..."To change a charmed lightbulb"
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Q--How many Solitary Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
A--DUH!
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Q--How many Erisians does it take to change a light bulb?
A--How many have we got?
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Q--How many Frost "School of Wicca" Witches does it take to change
a light
bulb?
A--"Just you! That's right, YOU! And for only $195, we'll send
you our
complete 'Witches Secret Power of Light Bulb Changing Course' with
real
knowledge that you can apply to ANY light bulb ANYwhere! Listen to
the
testimony of a young couple from Wisconsin..."
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Q--How many Discordians does it take to change a light bulb?
A--Five tons.
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Q--How many Wiccans does it take to change a light bulb?
A--Five; one for each direction, and one to mediate the resulting WitchWar.
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Q--How many members of IOT does it take to change a light bulb?
A--"Sorry, that ritual is copyrighted."
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Q--How many Proteans does it take to change a light bulb?
A--"I can't tell you; we never change a bulb the same way twice!"
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Q--How many Buckland Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
A--"Refer to my second book, Practical Light Bulb Changing."
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Q--How many Tantrics does it take to change a light bulb?
A--Two, as long as the lamp is near the bed!
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Q--How many Ceremonial Magicians does it take to change a light
bulb?
A--One; he holds up the light bulb and the world revolves around
him.
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Q--How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
A--"What do you want it changed into?"
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Q--How many Kitchen Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
A--"The light bulb's already been changed."
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Q--How many Pagans does it take to change a light bulb?
A--Six; one to change the bulb, and 5 to sit around complaining
about how,
"Light bulbs never burned out before the Christians came along!"
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Q--How many shamans does it take to change a light bulb?
A--None; they shapeshift into a cat or a bat, and can see in the
dark.
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Q--How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A--Two; one to change the bulb, and one to not change it.
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Q--How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb?
A--None; the Universe changes the bulb, and the Zen Master stays
the hell
out of the way!
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Q--How many New Agers does it take to change a light bulb?
A--"Like, we don't use light bulbs, dude; we just think happy thoughts at
our
quartz crystals until they glow!"
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Q--How many Asatru does it take to change a light bulb?
A--None; the light from the burning monasteries is enough
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