He was tired and frustrated and just wanted to go to his room. But his fans wanted otherwise. So here he was stuck in the lobby taking pictures. Pictures he knew would turn out horrible and show his complete lack of enthusiasm. Pictures that would spark more debate among the fans. Couldn’t just once he make it to his room without being stopped? Finally, Eddie managed to get him away and into the elevator. It had been a long night, a tiring show, and only more to come tomorrow. Walking down the hallway he noticed the door to Kevin’s room was open. As he passed it Kevin called to him.

“Yeah Kev?”

“Can we talk?”

Nick put his hands over his eyes and hung his head. “Man I am just so tired. Can it wait?”

“No it can’t Nick. I really think we need to talk now.”

Nick new what was coming. New this talk somehow pertained to him and how he had been feeling and acting. He was trying to think of any way to get out it, but every idea that came to mind he knew Kevin would find a way around. There was no other option at this point but to stay and talk it out. Sitting down in one of the chairs he saw Kevin get up and shut the door, then come and sit down directly across from him.

“So are you going to tell me what exactly is up with you?”

“Kevin it’s nothing dawg. Just something I gotta work out for myself.”

“Don’t give me that dawg crap. I know better. And we aren’t going to sleep until you’ve talked to me about it.”

Nick was starting to lose his temper and was fighting to keep it under control. It was a battle he would shortly lose. “There is nothing to talk about ok. Just let it be. Let me be. Some things just can’t be worked out by ‘talking’. Some things are better kept to themselves, ya know.”

“No Nick I don’t know because you won’t tell me. And what ever it is that is eating at you is affecting all of us, affecting the show, hell even the fans are noticing. So what ever it is you need to deal with and deal with now.”

“Dammit Kev! I can’t deal with it. Don’t you think if I could I would have done so by now? Do you think I like feeling like this?”

“And what are you feeling, Nick, tell me cause I don’t know.”

“God!” He got up and started pacing. Wishing once again that everyone would just leave him alone about it. “How do I feel? You wanna know how I feel? I feel like a total ass that ruined the best friendship he ever had. I feel like a man with a hollow heart. I feel lost and alone and it’s entirely my fault. And worse I don’t have the slightest clue how to make things better for either of us. And maybe the best thing is to just not do anything at all, and that thought kills me.” He was yelling, and pacing, and barely holding back his tears. He just wanted to get out of there and be alone. As the thought hit him he turned and started towards the door.

Kevin saw him bolt and jumped to intercept. Barely beating him to the door, Kevin braced his back against it and stood his ground. “Uh-uh. You are not just running out of here like that. Talk to me Nick. Tell me what happened. What caused all this?”

<~ Chapter 76 or Chapter 78 ~>

In the End

Karina 2003