Title: Family Ties

Title of Chapter: Saying Goodbye

Author: Alicia08

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Oh, and all characters in the Buffy/Angel verse belong to Joss Whedon and all those other suit wearing folks at those two fledging not very important networks.

Rating: PG-13

Description: *AU* Buffy's past is shrouded in mystery. The yearning to discover her natural heritage, leads her to a small town in Connecticut, where she finds something unexpected: What does she find you ask? Well, read and find out.

Author's note: The small town, in Connecticut, which I have dubbed Frenton, is fictional. No such town exists; so don't go raiding your school's library trying to find the right atlas. You won't find it on a map, and if ya do, then stick a pipe in my mouth, feed me spinach and call me Popeye. And while your at it, find me a girlfriend named Olive Oil, although considering I'm a chick myself, that would make me oh so gay, which I'm not. Not that anything is wrong with being gay, cause ya know. I love Willow, but not in that way of course, and I just got way off topic didn't I? Um, Topic...Frenton is fake.

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CHAPTER 1

Numb with shock, Buffy moved to one side as the first spadeful of earth hit the coffin. A long, deep shudder racked through her body as she stared down into the darkness of the open grave. In that box was the body of her mother. The women that had raised her since she could remember. Despite the fact that Joyce hadn't given birth to Buffy, her adoptive mother was the only mother she knew, and it pained her greatly at the loss. As she stood on the freshly laden earth, the faces of her family were coated with grief and sadness. Her Aunt Olivia, had been extremely close to Joyce, spending most of her time during the *end*, by Joyce's bedside. It had soon become a competition on who would accumulate more hours comforting Joyce on her deathbed. Her daughter or her sister? Needless to say, the grief was too overwhelming that they didn't bother to keep track.

Buffy turned her head away from the awfulness of the gaping hole in the earth. A brutal bitter winter wind ravishing her blond curls and blowing them against her face. She shuddered, pulling her leather coat tightly around her form.

Olivia was like a second mother to Buffy, going to her in times of need and grief. Her Aunt would do the motherly thing, and give her advice, when she felt uncomfortable going to Joyce. Lord knows she couldn't go to her mother to ask her about her natural heritage. Joyce was extremely sensitive, and to find out that her only daughter had wanted to know about her biological parents might of wounded her deeply, hence she approached her Aunt with her inquiries instead. Her Aunt though had no information to share on Buffy's birth parents or even where she was born, which is why it was a miracle and even a blessing that while in the attic of her mothers home the day before, looking for her mother's pearl earrings, which she had remembered Joyce insisting that when she died, she wanted the pearls to be buried with her... she came across, a small silver chess.

Blowing away the dust that had accumulated for who knows how long, she slowly raised the lid. Inside, she found papers, documents, which referred to her by name. Buffy Summers. Her adoption papers stared up at her.

Frenton Connecticut. The town she was born in was revealed to her in that instant. One of the few things that had eluded her all her life. Her heart skipped a beat, then made up for it by starting to race. Her eyes flew to the name printed under "Midwife's name." It had faded with age, but its print was more legible than the scrawl beneath it, that revealed the name of the lawyer that had dealt with the legalities and proceedings of her adoption. "Veronica Dalrose", she had read. She was stunned. Wondering where she'd been born, yet alone the women who had delivered her, and the town she had been born in, was as much a part of her, as celebrating her birthday every August, finding out who her biological parents were or attending the family picnic every Summer. To have it end suddenly, no longer wondering, was overwhelming.

The minister had finished his eulogy then, and the small intimate crowd, mostly Aunts, Cousins, Uncles, her father and a few close friends of the family began to disperse. Some expressing condolences, quickly offered sympathies before they went on their way. Buffy politely acknowledged their well wishes. She hugged her father tightly, all his pain seeping together with hers, to form a mist of anguish and heartache.

"You ok" he asked

"I'm fine Dad" she lied

They parted, looked at each other before embracing one last time. Buffy bid him farewell and watched him leave. She was alone with her thoughts now. No one pampering her. No one consoling her. And then it happened. Fresh tears blurred her vision, one of the few times she let her emotions take over and wept for her mother. Her pain and anger went beyond mere tears. She was infuriated. It seemed incomprehensible, an enormity of unfairness that defied all logic, that Joyce should be dead. She was so young, only 47; had so much to give in life.

God, she hated cancer. It was after all the disease that stole her mother from her. Six months prior had been when she heard the news. Joyce had known long before, but out of some misguided loyalty, decided to keep it from her. It was the day of Buffy's graduation from college, that the doctor informed Joyce of her illness. Buffy remembered vividly the joy that emanated from her mother's eyes, when she rose from her seat and went up to the podium to receive her diploma. But behind the joy, she saw something else. Something she hadn't quite been able to put her fingers on. Looking back now, she realized what it was.

Hank searched out the best doctors, got second opinions after second opinions, but every one had the same bad news to report. Joyce was dieing and there was nothing that could be done. Not surgery, not medicines. Nothing.

Buffy noticed the deterioration of Joyce's health months later, but at first she said nothing, mainly out of fear. If she didn't ask, maybe whatever was ailing her mother would disappear. If she pretended nothing was wrong, then maybe nothing would be wrong.

Buffy had thought her mother was suffering from cancer, a disease that plagued most of the women in her family. But they all dealt with it. Recovered in time. The actually enormity of the situation though had been far worse than Buffy's imaginings.

She had witnessed the gradual depression her father was slumping into. He ate less and less. He lost weight and walked around the house expressionless. That was the last straw. She confronted her father at first, but he denied anything was wrong. She finally decided to go to the source. Her mother had also denied it, but finally, with some prodding, told Buffy everything.

Someone had touched her shoulder just then. She swung around to see who it was. Her Aunt Olivia was staring at her with sadden eyes.

"Would you like a ride home," she asked

Buffy nodded in thanks, and followed her Aunt, pausing to look over her shoulder one last time, and say a painful final goodbye to her mother.

*******************

Standing before the silver trimmed mirror that hung over the console in her living room, Buffy starred at her reflection quizzically. She was as slender and finely dressed as any of the Summers, but that was where the similarities ended. She had green eyes to their brown, and her long hair was the color of the sun. She laughed slightly as she thought of a time when she was teased, because she had been the only one in the immediate family who did not have auburn hair. From childhood, she had been aware of how different she was from all her cousins, but it wasn't until her 15th birthday, when her mother revealed to her that she was indeed adopted, that the underlining difference became even more obvious. At the time, she had no interest in searching out her heritage, but as she got older, things changed. With her mother gone, this unknown need was pulling at her heart, her being, to fill the emptiness she felt inside. It crawled itself into her soul, ripping away at her flesh, devouring her whole. She no longer could ignore it, not even for the sake of her father.

The ring of the phone startled her. Turning from the mirror, and running to retrieve it, she put the receiver to her ear. "Hello" Buffy said pleasantly

"How are you?" came a concerned voice on the other end.

"Wills I'm fine" she insisted, hoping her friend of nearly 10 years would be convinced.

"I don't believe you," returned Willow dismissively. "I've known you too long and can sense when you're lying to me" she finished firmly. "Do you want me to come over? We can talk if you like?"

Knowing that the assurances of her well-being would go unheard, she thought it best to simply allow Willow to be the caring friend that she was obviously trying to be. Besides, Willow was stubborn and wouldn't take no for an answer. "Sure. Come on over. " she expressed yieldingly, then added "I need to tell you something important anyway" she smiled into the phone.

"Give me twenty minutes"

***************

"Your not actually thinking of going by yourself now are you?" a shocked Willow queried, as she sat to the left of Buffy at the dinning room table, stirring her cup of tea. "I'm coming with," she added firmly

"Willow, I can't ask you to do that"

"You didn't ask, I offered" Willow reminded.

"But."

"But nothing darn it" Willow interrupted. Pointing towards her own facial expression "Resolve face. That's what I have. You've seen it before. You know what it means. I'm coming and that's the end to it"

Raising her hand in defeat, Buffy conceded. "Fine".

"So, does anyone besides me know about your little discovery?" Willow chided gently

"No. Just you. And aren't you the special one" Buffy returned mockingly

Flicking a strand of red hair from her face, Willow replied in refrained humor. "How very funny, except not really"

"What?" Buffy asked innocently as the glaring eyes of her best friend stared her down. "I thought it was funny"

"It's not. This is life-changing stuff we are talking about. Have you even given thought to, what if you go to this... "

"Frenton" Buffy provided as she saw her friend straining to remember the town she had told was written on her adoption papers.

"This Frenton place" Willow continued. "and actually find your birth mother, and if you're lucky, father as well. Whose to say they don't still live in Connecticut" she wondered.

"You're right" Buffy admitted hazily. "It's just that I don't want to get my hopes up. If I don't think about the importance of this whole thing... If things don't turn out positive, then I won't be so disappointed.

"And if it does turn out positive" Willow countered, "you'll be complete. You always told me how you felt that although you were grateful for Joyce and Hank to take you in, and make you their own, you still felt as if a part of you was missing. Well, this is your chance to try and fill that void. She paused for a brief second. "What are you gonna tell your father?"

Buffy brought a hand to her temple, pressing it lightly in distress. Hank Summers had a very dismissal approach when it came to the subject of Buffy's past. He didn't ever talk to her about the proceedings of her adoption, and when she would ask, he became very defensive. As did her mother, Hank felt betrayed that after everything he and Joyce had done for Buffy, raised her like their own, loved her, cared and provided for her, she was willing to throw that all away on some crazy goose chase. He thought of it as a slap in the face, which is why she never approached him or prodded him on the subject of her heritage since then. She knew he kept vital information from her that would help in her search, but she just accepted the fact that her father's lack of enthusiasm or forthcomings was in the best of intentions. She realized that he feared he would loose her. If only he would understand that no matter what happened, he would always be her father, blood related or not. She told him that enough times already, but he was so stubborn. "I'm gonna tell him the truth" she sighed in apprehension.

"He's never taken the truth well before Buff. I've been your friend long enough to tell you that that's not such a good idea" the redhead insisted.

"I can't lie to him" Buffy spat in utter dismay

"I didn't say you had to lie to him, just leave a few things out. You don't have to tell him everything." Willow responded mischievously

"Won't he get suspicious when I tell him I'm going to Frenton Connecticut?" Buffy deliberately made her voice slightly scoffing "I'm sure he knows the significance of that town, not that he ever told me, but I know he knows.

Willow sighed, her elbows resting on the table, her chin hovering above her intertwined hands. "We'll figure something out" was her simple reply

"And what about Riley?" Buffy questioned, her childhood friend and lover suddenly entering her thoughts

Sighing deeply "We'll figure that out too, in time" Willow responded.

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