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Title: Castaways 4/16 As was so often the case since he met Buffy, tried turned out to be the operative word. Giles had barely dozed off when he was startled awake by Buffy rolling over and burrowing into his chest. She seemed to be trying to crawl inside him. "Buffy," he whispered, "are you awake?" The girl made a sleepy, slightly irritated noise and wrapped an unconscious arm around his waist to pull him closer. Giles decided it was wisest not to struggle. He did his best to find a comfortable position that Buffy would accept and tried to doze off again. Unfortunately, the close proximity of a warm, attractive female body was having its standard effect on his warm, male body. Giles wondered how he could possibly have enough blood in his cheeks to make them so warm when the rest of his body's supply had drained elsewhere at a quite astonishing rate. Still, there was nothing for it. If he tried to move away, Buffy might accidentally crush his ribs. Besides, despite his embarrassment at the situation, it was a comfort to know that in sleep, at any rate, Buffy might still want him around. He set his mind to the most boring Latin verb conjugations he could recall and did his best to will his now rampant erection away. Giles was not a religious man in the strictest sense, but he soon found himself praying that Buffy would roll away again in her sleep. And yet, another, traitorous part of his brain protested the thought adamantly. At last he gave in to the situation and wrapped an arm around Buffy, hoping she would feel safe with him. She made a contented little grunt in her sleep and wriggled yet closer. Giles smiled as he drifted off into his first nightmare free sleep since Buffy's death. ***** Giles woke first the next morning only to find that he and Buffy were lying spooned together with his legs tucked up behind hers and his arms snuggled around her waist. He allowed himself a moment to enjoy holding Buffy. Then he began to look for a way to extricate himself without waking her. He knew she would be upset if she felt him pressed against her backside. With some amusement, Giles wondered if he'd softened at all in his sleep. At least Buffy hadn't noticed. He wondered whether he felt more relieved or disappointed in that knowledge. He didn't want to upset her further or make her think she couldn't trust him to be a gentleman, but he also felt a perverse desire to prove to her that he was a man; that he was more than an extension of her. He decided it might be a good idea to take a quick dip in the stream before Buffy woke up. It would cool him off in more than one sense. ***** When Buffy woke, she found herself alone. She sat up and rubbed her face with her hands. Sleeping on the ground was certainly not the recommended way to wake up fresh as a daisy. She almost smiled when she saw Giles' jacket carefully spread on top of her. That was the Giles she remembered; the one who took care of her no matter what. Now if she could just figure out where he was. Just then, a sound came floating by. A happy sound. Someone singing. Someone with a good voice, it sounded like. But the only person there other than herself was... Buffy got to her feet, dusted herself off, and marched off in the direction of the singer. When she got to the stream, she saw Giles immediately, but this was a Giles she didn't think she'd ever really seen before. He was splashing happily in the water and singing. And naked. Not that she could see that much, actually. He had his back turned to her and the water came up a little past his waist. Still, that was a lot more Giles than Buffy had seen aside from the brief, awkward moment when she'd seen Giles turn back from a fyarl demon to himself. She'd turned away too quickly to really see anything that time. Didn't want to embarrass him, she'd told herself. Now she couldn't help staring at his back and shoulders. They looked broader and stronger than she'd expected. Expected when, she wondered. And the song he sang...maybe he chose it just because it was something from his youth and he liked it. Somehow, though, Buffy couldn't shake the feeling that it meant something - or someone - specific.
I been waiting here for you
"Dear lord!" Giles exclaimed as he turned and saw Buffy. "How long have you been standing there?" "Not long," Buffy said dropping here eyes. "I just woke up and followed the sound of music. I didn't know you could sing." "Well now you know. Are your ears scarred for life?" She wasn't entirely sure whether his words were meant as a joke or not. She decided to assume they were. "I think I'll live. Good thing you didn't walk in on me singing. There isn't an ER around here." "Stop that," Giles said mildly. "Stop what?" "Putting yourself down like that." Buffy shrugged. "Just accepting my limitations." "I've heard you sing, remember? You've quite a pretty voice, actually. And you've heard me sing before, in case you've forgotten." "Not really something I wanted to remember." Giles looked sullenly down at the water for a moment. He began to walk toward land. "Giles! What are you doing?" Giles stopped in his tracks and glared at the girl. "Getting out of this water before I freeze to death." "But you're...you're...not wearing anything, are you?" "And I suppose you bathe fully dressed on a regular basis?" "But you've never...in front of me..." "Nor do I particularly wish to reveal all to you now, but it's that or hypothermia at this point. Unless, of course, you leave me alone for a few minutes while I get dressed. Then I shall retire and allow you some privacy if you want to wash up." "Oh," Buffy mouthed. "Um...okay. I'll just...I'll be back...with the stuff." She turned and fled back to their campsite. Giles shook his head. What had gotten into him this morning? What on earth was he thinking, threatening to expose himself to Buffy? He knew he had to stop giving in to his frustration with her. Frustration. He couldn't lie to himself anymore. That was why he'd left Sunnydale in the first place. Frustration with Buffy, frustration with himself, frustration with Willow and Xander and Anya and all of them. But mainly with Buffy. He'd found himself getting angrier and angrier with Buffy during his stay in Sunnydale. The first moment she'd seen him, she'd clutched at him as if he was her one lifeline. She'd seemed so desperate to have him there. And then he'd disappeared into the background of her life. Again. She threw her problems into his lap to deal with. Deal with Dawn. Deal with the bills. Deal with everything but Buffy. Look but don't touch. But please cure the hangover she got hanging out with Spike. The frustration had grown and grown until the day he found himself daydreaming about throttling her. He knew then it was time to be on his way, before he grew to hate the girl he loved. He sighed deeply and left the water. Now he was well and truly stuck. No matter how much he wanted to, there was nowhere left to run. He prayed he could find a way to get through to the real Buffy - if she was still anywhere in that shell of resentment and despair.
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