We left Bearperson jumping for joy at Mother's suggestion that they go to the Zoo.

Mother and Bearperson readied themselves for the day and even packed a picnic lunch! Out in front of the house they waited. The bus comes right down our street and we just get on and we're off to the Zoo. Bearperson was extremely excited. Too many days in the house with all of those sad people and Mother crying had taken it's toll on Bearperson.

The day was wonderful. The sun mostly shone with only a few puffy clouds floating about. Bearperson could see the bus coming! The big blue and grey bus had a sign on the front which read, "DOWNTOWN". Bearperson had been on the bus before and just getting to ride again was enough of a thrill for the whole day.

With a roar the bus sped off toward the city. Mother explained that the Zoo was on the West side of downtown and they lived just outside the city on the East side. All the different houses and cars and stores and big trucks. There was just so much to see.

The tall building grew larger and larger. The bus went up a ramp and onto the bridge. It was very high and the water below looked cold. Into downtown they rode. The bus stopped along the street and everyone stood up.

"Come on. We have to get off. This bus doesn't go any further," Mother told Bearperson grabbing tightly to Bearperson's hand.

There were people everywhere. Mother and Bearperson walked to the street corner and Mother instructed Bearperson about the "Wait" and "Walk" signs. In the middle of the next block Mother stopped. "We will wait for a bus to the Zoo here," Mother said.

Bearperson tightened the grip on Mother's hand as more people crowded about them. The people were all much bigger than Bearperson, so when the bus arrived Bearperson did not see it. This bus was red and white, but it looked the same inside. Mother and Bearperson sat right in the front seat opposite the driver. Bearperson really liked that because they could see where they were going.

The bus left the tall buildings behind and wound it's way up the hills on the Westside. After several turns the large parking lot appeared. The bus moved along the side of the all the car parking and pulled right up to the front gate.

Mother went to a booth to get some tickets. She handed one of the tickets to Bearperson.

"When we get to the turnstile, hand the man your ticket," Mother instructed Bearperson.

"Okay."

Mother went first. Then Bearperson mimicked Mother acting very grownup. The man taking the tickets was very polite and help Bearperson go through the turnstile.

Once inside Bearperson noticed the smells of the animals. A loud roared drown out the murmur of the people about Mother and Bearperson.

"What was that?" an excited Bearperson asked.

"It was a lion or tiger roaring. That's how they talk," Mother explained.

"Can we go see it?" Bearperson asked.

"We will. but let's go this way first," Mother told Bearperson taking her hand and heading down the walkway. "Then we'll work our way around to the lions and tigers."

Mother and Bearperson walked and walked and walked. They saw snakes, monkeys, zebras, penguins (Now they were funny!) and all kinds of birds and fish. But Bearperson was getting a little tired and hungry.

Mother (And Mother's always know these things) turned to Bearperson, "Would you like to eat? We can sit and have a picnic right here at the Zoo!"

"Yes, yes!" Bearperson chirped, hopping around. "How about over there Mother?"

"Not just yet. We have to have drinks."

Mother and Bearperson walked along until Mother found a food stand. She instructed Bearperson to sit on the bench with the basket while she went to get some pop for them.

Bearperson sat and Mother headed for the food stand. Across the way Bearperson saw the bears. One stood at the front of the high metal fence. The bear looked like it was looking at Bearperson. Bearperson stared at the bear. Bearperson called, "Hi Mister Bear!" The bear cocked his head sideways and Bearperson thought the bear talked. With one of those scrunched noses, Bearperson squinted to look at the bear.

"Come visit me."

Bearperson distinctly heard this and sat straight up!

"Come."

Bearperson looked at Mother nearing the food stand and back at the bear. Bearperson wondered if it was really the bear talking. Without being cognizant of it, Bearperson was up and walking toward the bear. As Bearperson neared the metal enclosure the eyes of the bear became visible. Those rather small languishing brown eyes were a little watery. Bearperson crawled over the concrete barrier up to the cage. The bear pushed his snout through the bars.

From somewhere Bearperson heard someone yell, but did not understand what was said. Bearperson's eyes were focused on the bear's eyes. Warm, nice and brown, like Dad's.

Bearperson's small hand reached out toward the bear.

"I like you," Bearperson heard.

A commotion seemed to be behind Bearperson, but it was of no consequence.

Bearperson touched the bear's snout and then rubbed it. "You're a nice bear."

"You're very nice too."

Bearperson reached in further and rubbed the bear's head and ears. The bear fixed his eyes on Bearperson's and Bearperson knew it was alright. Thoughts and feelings passed rapidly through Bearperson. The bear knew Bearperson's loss. Bearperson was at peace and soothed.

Mother turned when she heard the man yelling frantically. When she saw Bearperson touching the bear she screamed, "NO! NO!" The drinks flew as Mother raced toward an unaware Bearperson. Mother closed on Bearperson still shrieking.

Mother's voice broke through the communion with the bear. Bearperson turned seeing her terrified Mother. Bearperson turned more, pulling away from the bear.

"Don't go!"

The bear clasped Bearperson's arm in his mouth. It did not hurt Bearperson. The hot breathy mouth of the bear held Bearperson.

Mother's screams scared Bearperson. Bearperson tried to jerk away. The bear held. Bearperson screeched, "Momma!"

The roar of the rifle shot exploded in the early afternoon. Bearperson sagged as the white hot flash of pain scorched the bear's mind. Bearperson felt the pain of the bear. Abruptly Bearperson turned to those warm, brown eyes.

"You have been kind. Remember me. It must be so."

Bearperson's eyes streamed tears.

Two more shots rang out. Bearperson's arm came loose. The bear fell.

Mother grabbed for Bearperson. Bearperson did not know anything else. Bearperson had passed out as the bear died. In a sense Bearperson died with the bear, with Dad.

The utter chaos that ensued around Mother and Bearperson was understandable. People everywhere. An ambulance, the police, Zoo officials and the man who shot the bear came to where Mother held a limp Bearperson. Mother cradled Bearperson in her arms. Bearperson did not awaken then. Bearperson did not awaken that night either.

In the hospital, the next afternoon, Bearperson's Mother slept in the bedside chair. Exhaustion upon exhaustion had finally taken Mother to a peaceful slumber. She slept late into the night.

Mother awakened with a start. She was unaware that she had even gone to sleep.

"Hello Mother," Bearperson said. "Did you sleep well?"

Mother leapt from the chair and grabbed Bearperson in her arms. She smothered Bearperson with hugs and kisses. Bearperson reciprocated energetically. Outside the window in the dark sky, the stars watched. Some say they smiled, but how can one proved that!

The Zoo incident was never, ever talked about. Not even that night when Bearperson awoke. Mother did not want to be reminded. Bearperson, well, life went on. Zoo? What Zoo?

Many Christmases came and went. Bearperson's teen years arrived and departed. As a young adult, the memories of the "sad Christmas" dimmed and the pain numbed. But sometimes, late at night, alone in the darkness, Bearperson would find a tear running down a cheek. Bearperson would reach out and pull Teddy (the one with the brown eyes) close and whisper,
"I love you Teddy. It must be so."