"What?!?" Roni screamed as she recoiled away from her mom and Chris. "What are you talking about? You’re going to be fine, mom. You’re not dying."

Lydia sighed and leaned back on her bed. She closed her eyes before turning her head to her daughter. "Roni, yes I am."

"No, you’re not!" Roni jumped out of her seat and ran to the foot of the bed, looking at her mother.

"Veronica."

"What?" Roni asked, tears streaming from her face.

"Veronica, I’m tired and I don’t have that much energy. There’s a few things I need to tell you before I fall alseep because I don’t know if I’ll ever wake up once as my eyes close."

"Mom," Roni ran to the opposite side of the bed and grabbed her mother’s hand, "don’t talk like that. You’ll be fine. She’ll be fine, right, Chris?"

Chris couldn’t look at her. He hung his head and ran a hand through his hair and around his neck. He bit his lip as tears threatened to fall from his wet eyes. He tried to get himself to look at the young woman across the bed but he just couldn’t. Any amount of will power he had left his body. He knew he should look at Roni but he couldn’t. He couldn’t lie to her. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Chris?"

Even though she was right next to him he still couldn’t give the effort. He felt her presence before him and lifted his chin as she raised it.

"Chris?"

"Yeah, Ron?" Their eyes locked before Chris roamed his eyes anywhere but her gaze.

"Tell me she’s lying. Tell me she’s lying. Please."

Chris took a deep breath. "I could tell you that, Ron, but," he paused, "I’d be the one lying then."

"No!" Roni looked at her mom before turning back to Chris. She pointed at him. "You’re lying right now. Both of you are. She’s going to be okay." She stumbled over Chris’ foot. "She’s going to be okay. My mom is not dying. She’ll be out of here in no time."

Roni started to run from the room but as she started to pass Chris’ side he reached out and grabbed her with both arms. He struggled to pull her to his side and over the chair arm into his lap. She tried to escape his hold but he just held her tighter. She collapsed against his body and sobbed into his shoulder.

"Roni?"

"What?" she mumbled into his shoulder.

"I’m so sorry." He pushed some hair behind her ear.

"Roni?"

Both turned at the weak voice of Lydia. Lydia held her hand out. Chris felt Roni wanting to hold her mother’s hand but also felt the hesitation in her body. He tightened his hold on her and changed chairs so they both were sitting next to Lydia. He grasped Roni’s hand and laid it on Lydia’s. He was about to move his hand back when Lydia placed her thumb on the back of his hand. He raised his eyes and Lydia nodded at him to leave his hand.

"Roni?"

"Yeah, ma."

"I love you, honey." Lydia squeezed the hands lightly. "I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter. Please know I have always been proud of you. I wish I could be around to see you reach your full potential."

"Shut up. Shut up, mom. I can’t live without you."

"I’m sorry, Veronica, but fate has it that you will have to. I’ll always be there in your heart. And I don’t think Chris’ll let you. He’s going to be there for you. Don’t shut him out. I had never seen you so down as that year and a half you didn’t talk to him. I don’t want you to be like that again. You’ve got something special with him, Ron. He’ll be around forever if you want him to. I suggest you take him up on it. It’s rare to find a man with that kind of commitment."

Roni looked her mother and smiled through her tears. "Commitment and Chris in the same sentence. Never thought that would happen."

"Hey." Chris lightly pushed his shoulder into Roni’s body.

She faced him. "It’s true."

"But you didn’t have to vocalize it." He bent his head until their foreheads touched. "I just haven’t found the right one yet. It’s not that I’m afraid to commit. It’s that they’re not the ones I want to commit to."

"If you say so, Chris."

"I do."

Their eyes locked and they turned serious. Chris reached up and wiped tears from her cheeks. She shut her eyes and leaned her head on his shoulder. She sighed deeply and turned to her mother.

"Anything else, mom?"

A small moan escaped Lydia’s mouth and her eyes fluttered a few times before her head turned to the side. Roni stared at her mom to speak. She bit her bottom lip and shook her head against Chris’ chest.

"No. No, this isn’t happening. When I look back at her she’ll have her eyes open and will tell me she’s kidding." Roni faced her mother and waited a few more seconds. She squeezed her mom’s hand tightly. "Come on, mom. Wake up."

Doctors and nurses ran in the room. Roni tried to stand but Chris held her tightly and tried to push the chair out of the way of the hospital staff. She twisted in his lap but Chris held on as tightly as he could.

"No! She’s not dead. She’s just resting. Get your hands off my mother." She looked around at the staff. "Put that chart down. My mom’s not dead. Don’t put a time on there. Don’t!"

Chris held her head against his shoulder as she broke into sobs. Tears starting falling from his eyes and soon he didn’t know who was shaking more, him or Roni. The couple held each other tightly as a doctor finished Lydia’s chart and nurses began detaching machines from Lydia’s body.

"My son’s in there. Let me through."

Chris lifted his head as his mom’s voice came into the room. She had two bags of food and was trying to get past the arm a doctor had across the door. Beverly’s eyes pleaded with Chris’.

"Let her in," Chris told the doctor. "She’s my mother."

"Thank you," Beverly told the doctor as she walked in the room. She looked at the bed then looked back to the couple huddling in the chair. "Did she?"

Chris nodded. He pulled the other chair with his foot. Beverly put the food on the table and sat next to her son. She pulled Chris toward her and wrapped her arms around him and Roni. Another dam broke in Chris and his body racked with emotion. Beverly kissed the top of her son’s head and joined Chris and Roni in grieving Lydia’s death.

~~~~~~

2001
January 1

Roni ran her fingers along her dresser and stopped in front of her mirror. She adjusted her hair and wiped tears off her cheeks. She stared at her reflexion and jumped at a knock at the door.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?"

"Joey?" Roni looked up and let Joey pull her into a hug. Her hands laid on his shoulders. "What are you doing here?"

Joey pulled back and held her hands. "I’m here for your mother’s …umm."

"You don’t have that much time left with your family. You didn’t have to come here."

"Roni, I couldn’t not come. I know you have Chris for support but I couldn’t think of doing anything else. We have a history, Ron, and that makes me care about you and want to be there for you."

Joey ran a hand down the side of her face before bringing her close again. Another knock came from the door and the couple looked up. Roni’s eyes widened as she searched the eyes of the two blue-eyed guys now standing in her hallway.

"Justin? JC? Now what are you two doing here?"

"I think you know, Roni." Justin walked forward and took the fragile girl from Joey. He held her tight before passing her to JC.

"We’re here for you, Ron. We support our family and you’ve become a member via Chris."

"But your families…"

Joey stepped up and placed a hand on the small of her back. "Roni, our families know and we’ll see them again. This is important. We needed to be here."

"Yeah," a deep voice boomed into the room, "if not just for your sake, then for Chris’. He’s lost someone who was like an aunt to him. We’re not just a music group, we’re brothers first."

"Lance," Roni cried and opened her arms, "I didn’t even think of Chris. I've been selfish. All this time I’ve been letting myself come first and not evan thinking about him. I’m the worst friend."

"No, you’re not, Roni." Lance pulled back. "He’s been trying to be strong for you. You have enough on your plate and he hasn’t wanted to burden you. Don’t worry about him. We’ve all talked to him and being home has also helped him."

"But-"

"So this is where everyone went. I was wondering."

Roni looked up and stepped out of Lance’s arms. She bee-lined to Chris and hugged him so tight he almost couldn’t breathe. He was surprised at the force of the hug but laid one hand on her lower back and brought the other one to hold her head against his shoulder. He closed his eyes as she breathed heavily, trying to hold back her tears. After a few moments he reopened his eyes, but didn’t let her go.

"Guys, there are two vans outside. You will be in the second one while I’m riding in the first with Roni and my family."

All four nodded and left with gestures and words of support as they left Chris and Roni in the small bedroom. Chris shut his eyes for s few seconds before pulling back slightly.

"It’s time to go, Ron. Are you ready?"

She shrugged and wiped a few tears from his cheek. "As ready as I’ll ever be. Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"I’m sorry. I’ve been selfish these past few days and I didn’t even think of what you’ve been going through. I’m sorry."

"Roni," he dropped his arms and grabbed her hand, "it’s okay. You just lost your mother. If you’re not selfish you’d just drown in the emotions, Ron. Plus, it’s been forever since I’ve sung you to sleep, and it’s good for me. Don’t worry about me."

"I always worry, Chris. And thanks for letting me stay at your house." She looked around the room. "It’s just too hard for me to be here without her. I have to do something with this house."

"Don’t worry about it now, Ron." He looked down into her eyes. "We’ll figure something out later. Maybe we’ll put stuff in storage or something. Don’t worry about it now."

"Chris, how am I going to pay for storage?"

"Roni, we’ll discuss this later. We’ve got to get going, okay?"

She nodded and let him link their fingers. Chris led her down the stairs. At the front door he gave her one last hug and kissed her forehead before opening the door. Outside he led her to the first van, ignoring the small crowd accumulating across the street. He shook his head and raised a leg to climb in with his family.

"Chris?"

Chris turned and found a tape recorder and a camera in his face.

"Mr. Kirkpatrick, what is *N SYNC doing in your hometown?"

Chris bit his bottom lip to prevent him from going off on the reporter. "A woman who has been my neighbor for over twenty years has died and we’re here to pay our respects. Can you please respect me and leave me and my family alone during our time of grief?"

"Okay. But Chris I have on more ques-"

Chris cut off the noise of the reporter by sliding close the van door and sitting next to Roni. He leaned his head back momentarily before telling the driver to go.

~~~~~~

"Chris?" Molly looked around the living room. She put her hand on JC’s shoulder. "Have you seen my brother?"

JC shook his head and Molly moved to the kitchen in Roni’s house. As she passed the table an image on Lydia sitting there working entered her mind and her eyes teared. She looked out the window and found her brother with Roni and her mother at the large rock between yards. She glanced in the living room before quietly leaving the house and approach the rock.

"Am I interrupting anything?"

The three looked up. Beverly lifted her hand and brought Molly into the group.

"No, hun, you’re not. Well, you are but it’s nothing you need to leave for. We’re just discussing what to do with the house and all."

"Oh." Molly looked down at Roni and Chris sitting on the rock. "I forgot that needed to be dealt with. Isn’t this a bit soon to discuss it?"

"Unfortunately," Chris slid his gloved hand over Roni’s, "it needs to be done now." He linked their fingers. "I need to leave in two days and it needs to be settled before then."

"Chris," Roni started, "it doesn’t need to be settled before then."

"Yes, it does. Ron, it may take a few months to sell the house. That’s what we are talking about, right?" Chris looked around the group but neither his mother nor his sister would meet his eyes.

"Yeah, it is." Roni sighed. "I just can’t think of this," she waved to the house, "as not being home. What am I going to do with all my stuff? It won’t all fit at school."

"I have an idea," Beverly piped up. She steped forward and grabbed Roni’s free hand. "I now have two children," she looked at Molly and Chris, "who are out of the house. I have some extra room and I think I can spare some of it for you. When Molly left Katie moved out of the room she shared with Emily but I still have a small room that can be easily emptied. It needed it a long time ago."

"Oh, Beverly," Roni breathed out, "thanks but what about everything else in the house? I can’t believe I have to deal with this. Why? Why did mom have to die?"

Roni collapsed against Chris, sobbing. Chris cupped her head and held it against his neck. He closed his eyes and gulped before looking up at his mother and sister. His mother saw the look in his eyes and smiled to herself at the protectiveness and panic in them. Her son wasn’t as good at hiding his emotions as he thought he was.

"Molly, let’s leave Chris with Roni and let’s go back in. I’m sure people are wondering where all of us are."

Molly nodded and followed her mother to Roni’s house. Chris watched them walk away and brought Roni closer to him. He kissed the top of her head.

"I wish there was something I could say but there’s nothing I can say to reassure you of anything."

"It’s okay, Chris." She sniffled. "I just thought I’d have a couple more decades with her, instead she died a few days ago."

"I know." He pulled back and placed his hands on her face to look at her. "Roni, I’m sorry but we need to discuss this. I just want to make sure things go the right way and costing as little as they can. Your mom only left you a little money and I’m willing to help anyway I ca-"

"Chris, I can’t take your money."

"Roni…"

"Chris," she stood and swung around when he wouldn’t let an arm go, "I know you’re just showing you care but I can’t take your money."

"But, Ron, I have the money to spend."

"That doesn’t mean you have to spend it on me."

"What if I want to spend it on you?" He took her other arm and pulled her into his lap. "What then? Roni, you’re worth everything you get."

"But it’s your money, Chris." She looked back at him. "Spend it on yourself. You’ve always denied yourself to give to others. Take some for yourself."

He laughed. "Roni, I have more than enough for myself. Did you forget that I was part of one of the best selling records of the year?"

"Chris, but you’re one of five, and to think of all the other people you had to give cuts to. Chris, keep your money."

"So you’re saying do what I want with the money?"

"Yes."

"Then that’s what I’m going to do."

"Good." She began getting up but he pulled her back. "Chris, what are you doing?"

"You’re staying here so we can discuss what needs to be done. I’m going to do what I want with my money and what I want to do is spend it on you. I’ve never had a problem with it before and now isn’t going to be different."

"When have you spent so much money on me before?"

"Oh." He looked down and blushed. "Well…"

"Chris," she demanded.

"Okay!" He let her go and stood up. "For the last few semesters I’m the one who’s been giving your mom the money for your food and books."

"What?"

He hung his head. "Your mom said you’ve been wondering where the money came from."

"She asked you for money? I can’t believe she’d do that. I thought she had pride."

"Roni." Chris stood and tried to stop the now pacing Roni. He reached out and held her arms down. "Roni, she didn’t ask me. I volunteered. We were talking once and she said something about not knowing what to do and I told her I’d give the money for that semester. The next semester I just gave the money. She said nothing. She was hesitant to take it even the first time. She told me she didn’t need it but I told her she’s get the money no matter what. Roni," he looked her in the eye, "that’s the only time she’d take money from me. She wanted you to stay in school and so did I."

"Chris, that’s not the point."

"Roni, it doesn’t matter if it’s the point or not. Your mother wanted you to stay in school. You’ve got so much potential and that shouldn’t have been stopped. School is important."

Roni sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I really don’t want to think about school. I’m supposed to be back in two days. Chris, how long have you been paying for my books?"

"Umm…1998."

"January or August?"

"August."

"So since my sophmore year. Wow." She sat on the rock and leaned against Chris when he sat next to her. "I don’t feel like going back there now. I don’t know if I can concentrate on classes right now. But I only have one semester left though. I should finish."

"Ron, it sounds like you’re trying to talk yourself into going back. I think everyone would completely undestand it if you need to take a semester off." He felt her body stiffen against him. "Come on, Ron, don’t you be the stubborn one this time. I thought that was my job. Don’t go back if you’re not ready."

"But, Chris," she looked up at him, "I’m almost done. One more semester and the four years of college are done."

"Ron, these days it takes most people longer than four years to graduate college. Plus, I don’t think you’re ready to deal with the stress of school. You have been through so much this break I’m worried about you. I honestly don’t think you should go back this semester. Take the semester off, Ron."

"Take the semester off?" She pulled back from him. "What am I going to do? Where am I going to go? I really don’t want to stay around here longer than I have to. When the house is sold I’d rather not live near it everyday."

"I understand. Why don’t you come live with me?"

"In Orlando?"

"That is where I live."

"Chris," she pulled her legs on the rock, "that’s a nice and tempting offer but you don’t need me around moping."

"Roni, you’d never be any kind of burden to me. Listen, we’re doing a lot of recording for the next album and Lance and Joey are shooting a movie so there’s two less people around. I’m really going to need someone to have some fun with."

"And I can get into the bars now." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Oh god that’s right. You’re 21, 22 in March. How did you get this old?"

"By being born in 1979."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Ask a simple question."

"Chris, I don’t know about this. I should go back to school."

"Do you want to?"

"No." She shook her head.

"Do you really think that you’ll have a good semester if you go back?"

"No. I don’t know how I’ll survive. Mom just died."

"I know. That’s why you should take it off and come down to Orlando. We go on tour in a few months but I’d love if you came down there. I’m worried about you and I’d feel much better if you had someone near you to help you. Since being in Clarion isn’t where you want or should be there’s no other place than Orlando."

"I know."

"So are you coming down?" Chris tried to conceal the excitement in his voice.

"Yeah. After things get settles here I will. I can’t go down with you though."

"I know." Chris stood and pulled her up. "I’m going to do all I can before I leave. We’d better go in. I think I see Joey in the kitchen window."

Roni squinted as they walked. "Yeah, it’s him."

"Do you want to tell them the good news or should I?"

"Good news?"

"Yeah. You in Orlando is good news." Chris wrapped an arm around her. "Very good news."

Roni rolled her eyes. She let Chris open the back door and stepped inside. She took her gloves off and rubbed her hands together. Behind her Chris shook his jacket and hung it over a kitchen chair. He waved Joey into the living room behind him. He walked to the table to stand next to Roni.

"Excuse me," Chris said loudly. He waited until he had everyone’s attention. "I’m sorry. I know some of us haven’t seen each other in a long time, but I just wanted to thank you all for coming by for Lydia and for Roni. Lydia was like an aunt to me, Roni like a sister. I’m sorry to have to say that this house will have to be sold. I never thought I’d see the day the Da’ Cords didn’t live in this house. This neighborhood is going to change but it will live on. Lydia cared for all the children around here. We all knew if we needed a scratch or cut fixed and we didn’t feel like explaining the causes of those bruises to our parents Lydia would help patch us up, no questions asked."

"Is that how you covered all those bruises, Chris?" Beverly asked.

A small smile crossed Chris’ serious face. "You caught me, ma."

"Chris, Roni," a short man stepped forward, "I’d like to be the one to list the house. My commission is yours too."

"Mr. Taylor," Roni stepped to the man, "I’d love for you to list the house. You don’t have to cut your commission though."

"Veronica," he grabbed her hand, "I want to. I know you have school loans you’re going to have to pay back and bills. This is for your mother."

"Oh, Mr. Taylor." Roni bit her lip and hugged the man. "Thank you. I need someone I trust and you’ve been a great neighbor all these years."

Chris watched the sight and smiled. The neighborhood he grew up in was a close one and as much as he hated getting free services he liked seeing the people band together for Roni. He looked around and found everyone talking to each other, and was even happier no one was making a mess and keeping the house clean. He left his post to again stand next to Roni who had left to talk with Molly and Ryan.

"So, Chris," Molly placed an arm around her brother’s shoulders, "Roni’s going down to Orlando for a few months?"

"Yup. She needs to get away and there’s no place but Orlando she should be. She can’t stay here if she wants to move on and right now her mind isn’t ready for school."

"Plus," Ryan pulled his wife from Chris, "you want her near you."

Chris shrugged. "Okay, I’m being a little selfish, but she needs someone and so do I. I’m not going to get over Lydia dying over night."

"And he’s lonely."

Chris turned and shook his head. "JC, when was the last time I told you were annoying?"

"This morning." JC stood behind Roni and pulled her against him. He kissed her cheek. "Hey, sweetie."

"Hey, Jace." She patted his cheek. "Is Chris trying to say there could be anyone more annoying than him again?"

"Yup. How you holding up?"

"As good as can be expected. So we hanging out when I’m down in O-town?"

"Hell yeah. So it’s not just a rumor that you’re coming down?"

She shook her head.

"Good. Chris could use a little estrogen in his life. And if we get you around all the better."

"Aww, JC, you’re so sweet. Don’t listen to Chris."

"I usually don’t anyway."

"Ain’t that the truth." Chris rolled his eyes.

Roni laughed and hugged both guys. As much as she felt like a mooch she was glad she’d have some time with Chris and the guys. And no matter what she told them she was glad all of them were there to support her on this tough day.

~~~~~~

January 14

"Hello?" Roni called into Chris’ house after she opened the door. "Chris, you home?" She got no response and slid the house key he sent her into her pocket. She moved a box to keep the door open and stuck her head out the doorway to the guy by truck in the driveway. "Hey, Tyler, I stuck a box against the door to keep it open."

"Cool," Tyler Chasez told her.

"Umm," she looked around the house, "Tyler, do you know what room I’m staying in? Chris bought this house a few months ago and I haven’t been here before."

"Actually," Tyler put the bags in his hands on the floor and the two returned to the truck, "I don’t. There’s two spare bedrooms and I have no idea which one Chris wants you in."

"All right. I guess we’ll just dump my things in the foyer and Chris’ll have to move ‘em later."

"Just Chris, huh?" Tyler raised an eyebrow. "Do you really have him around your finger as much as Josh says you do?"

"What does your brother say?"

Tyler closed the door and followed her into the kitchen. "He says, actually all the other guys say, that you have Chris wrapped tightly around your finger. He’ll do anything for you."

"Whatever. Hold on." She walked to the ringing phone and picked it up. "Hello?"

"You’re there?"

"Yes, Chris, we just walked in the door." She sat at the table and waved a hand when Tyler gave her a knowing look. "Where are you?"

"The studio. We only have a couple more weeks with Lance and Joey here so we’re trying to do all we can together." He paused and voices were heard in the background. "Hey, Ron, do you think you and Tyler can come by?"

"I don’t know. Hold on." She turned the phone from her mouth. "Hey, Tyler, do you think you can drop me by the studio?"

"Sure." He shrugged and pulled a soda from Chris’ refriderator. "What do they need?"

"Let me see. Hey, Chris, do you guys need anything?"

"Well…"

"What?" She opened each drawer in the kitchen until she found a pen and paper.

"We could use some lunch..."

"Don’t you guys have food there?"

"Not really and what we really want doesn’t deliver."

"Give me the order."

Roni took the order and said good-bye to Chris. She hopped in the passenger seat and Tyler drove to pick up the food. Twenty minutes later they entered the studio.

"Soup’s on," Roni called as she and Tyler put the food cartons down. She looked around. "Where’s Chris?"

Justin laughed and hugged her. "She walks in and all she can ask is where Chris is, like the rest of us aren’t good enough."

"Justin," she told him sternly, but couldn’t keep the smile from her face.

One by one JC, Lance and Joey hugged her and asked her how she was doing. She was helping pass around the food when something very cold came in contact with her neck.

"Damn it, that’s cold. Chris," she warned when she felt his laugh over her shoulder.

"Come on, Ron, give me a hug."

"If I must." She hugged him and squeeled when he picked her up and twirled in a few circles. When he put her down she placed a hand on his shoulder for balance. "So what are you guys working on?"

"Well," Chris sat and moved so she could join him on the couch, "the song’s called The Game is Over, JC co-wrote it. Listen."

Chris leaned over Roni and pushed a button. He laughed as her eyes widened.

"Pac-man?"

"Yup." He leaned back and patted her knee. "I am so glad you’re here."

"So am I, Chris." She looked at him and their eyes locked. "So am I."