*** Flashback ***
"Why can't I read it now?"
"Because I don't want you to. If you ever do anything I ask let it be this," she pleaded with him.
He always fell for that look in her eye. "Alright. I won't open it until next week."
"Promise?"
He held two fingers up in the boy scout promise gesture. "Promise."
"Good. What do you want to do now?"
*** End Flashback ***
How could I not know? Were there any signs? He couldn't stop beating himself up on this. He looked at the book in front of him and started to read.
Who is he to hit me?
I have to ask myself
if I really deserve this.
He says yes.
At first I believed him
but now I'm not so sure.
I can't leave him.
He needs me.
I need him.
I need help.
"Untitled" Copyright Crazy1
~~~**~~~
Please leave.
Leave my mind.
I hurt.
You hit and raped me.
Both mentally and emotionally.
I need to go on.
Stop it, please.
My mind and voice is
begging you.
Please, let me be.
"Please" Copyright Crazy1
~~~**~~~
He sat there with his mouth open. He had no idea she was going through this. He couldn't believe it. She was his best friend and he didn't know.
My mind has left my body.
This happens everytime.
I can't concentrate on it.
If I concentrate on it
I will go crazy
The pain, the fear, the confusion
It is so real.
If I could get out I would.
But I don't know how.
Can you tell me?
"How?" Copyright Crazy1
~~~**~~~
The pain is unbearable.
But I must feel it.
The scars are great.
They are the marks of his love.
If he did not love me
Then I would have no bruises.
If I have no bruises
Then I have no love.
So I must withstand this pain
In order to be loved.
"The Bruises of His Love" Copyright Crazy1
~~~**~~~
Tears had started to fall down his cheeks as realization swept over him.
*** Flashback ***
"Now you're gonna get it."
They had been playing with water pistols when she surprised him from behind and soaked his shorts.
"Really, and what are you going to do about it?" She gave him an evil grin and he suddenly felt an urge to kiss her.
"Now if I tell you you'd have time to prepare," he replied slyly as he stepped closer to her.
"Whoa there, bucko, your getting a little too close for comfort."
"Whose comfort? Not mine." He quickly leaned down and captured her lips with his. He felt her respond to his kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck as the kiss deepened.
With a start she pulled away. "I can't believe that just happened. Greg can't know about that. He just can't."
He was starting to get his senses back. Now he remembered why he hadn't done that before. Greg.
"Why can't you tell him its over? You can't tell me that kiss meant nothing." He gently brushed her hair away from her face. He thought he saw a bruise but ignored it because he thought it was a hickey, although it was rather large.
"Because he loves me. Please don't make this any harder than it is? Just say you'll continue to be my best friend." By this time she had tears in her eyes.
He couldn't stand to see he cry. He wrapped his arms around her. "Of course I'll be your best friend." He tilted her chin so he could look in her eyes. "I'll always be your best friend."
*** End Flashback ***
He wiped furiously at the tears that had been streaming down his face and onto the paper.
~~~**~~~
The pain and suffering is over.
The job is done.
He is gone forever.
Never to re-enter my life.
I disregarded the advice of others.
I did what felt good.
Boy, did it feel great.
Not having to feel that hand,
His torturous hand.
They tell me I must go.
No one listened to my plea.
Maybe you will listen to me,
Believe me.
It was SELF-DEFENSE!!!
"Self-Defense" Copyright Crazy1
~~~**~~~
He stared at the last line. Had she thougth about killing him? What, exactly, had Greg done to her?
~~~**~~~
I took him for too long.
I allowed myself to take it.
They told me to get out.
To myself I held strong.
I could take whatever he gave me,
or so I thought.
Now I blame myself.
Not him, my love, my one and only love
for my being here.
Can somebody free me?
Does someone hear me?
Now I remember.
A person can't be heard through
six feet of earth.
"Six Feet Under" Copyright Crazy1
~~~**~~~
He felt the hand on his shoulder shaking him.
"Josh? You ready?"
JC looked up at his mother. The look on his face broke her heart. He shook his head.
"As ready as I'll ever be."
He stood up and prepared to make the hardest speach of his life. The one he didn't want to make.
The eulogy at his best friend's funeral.