If an Asian girl was really Asian, she...

1. be wearing platforms

2. be wearing flares

3. has one of those fake-ass voices on the phone

4. carries a big-ass purse

5. carries hella pictures of her homies in the purse

6. knows everybody in town

7. thinks she knows about cars, but really don't

8. always be fiending for "pho"

9. lies about her age when y'all first meet

10. thinks she knows how to drive

11. talks hella fast on your voice mail

12. has a 800 or 888 number

13. shares a 800 or 888 with her homies

14. carries a pager for the time

15. has money but is hella cheap when it comes to paying

16. has taken studio pictures more than 7 times a month

17. wears a(n) Nautica, Tommy, Polo, Nike, or Adidas jacket

18. wears those fake-ass leather jackets

19. is seen every week at the mall

20. wear tight see-through shirts

21. never goes anywhere without at least her homie or her cousin

22. seems to be cousins with all the females in town

23. drives hella crazy... cuz she can't reach the pedal all the way

24. thinks she's fat... when she's like a little toothpick

25. likes it when peeps tell her she's cute... cuz she conceited

26. brings hundred lbs. of make-up in her purse

27. carries a back-pack to the mall after school... like she's a school girl

28. wants to get color contacts to look good

29. is always talking about "Asian Pride"

30. is always reppin her nationality

31. knows cities as their area code rather than the name

32. calls a city by ?-town or ?-side

33. if she's a good girl... has strict ass parents

34. if she's a bad girl... goes out every night

35. used to be a thug/gangsta girl

36. loves to karaoke with her homegirls

37. can't sing when she's with her man

38. can write hella nice

39. writes "sorry so sloppy" on every letter

40. dislikes Mariah Carey's racist ass

41. dislikes Hilfiger's racist ass

42. dislikes DiCaprio's gay ass

43. dislikes Ma$e's retarded ass

44. dislikes Russians' stank asses

45. watches Days of our Lives

46. watches guys play b-ball

47. thinks she can play b-ball

48. plays b-ball without shoes... cuz she only has platforms

49. if her natural hair color is nothing but a faint memory in the past

50. rather be single than go with a white-boy

51. freaks at every dance

52. booty shakes at every dance

53. if she's a good girl... loves lil' kids

54. if she's a bad girl... loves to hate lil' kids

55. wants an Integra GS-R... cuz every girl does

56. asks every guy she knows for a ride to everywhere

57. calls everyone to get a ride

58. pages everyone with "good night" when they go to sleep

59. pages everyone with her number... just to say hi

60. loves money... regardless who's it is