Chapter 8
"I'm
looking for a song to sing/ I'm looking for a friend to follow/ I'm
looking for my radio/ So I may find a heart to follow/ I've never
been just longing for your loving/ I've never been just wearing down
to nothing/ I've never been just looking for a reason/ So that maybe
you'd be thinking of me..." ~Hanson ("A
Song To Sing")
"Hey Nick! Watch this!" Aaron yelled as he leapt off of
the diving board and into the blue water of the pool. The lively 16 year old
landed in the pool with a splash, sending water everywhere.
Nick laughed and brushed off his slightly soggy shirt. "Good one Aaron,"
he replied while still laughing lightly. "Just leave some water in
the pool next time, OK?"
Sara watched as the scene unfolded. Aaron and Nick joked around a little while
more before Aaron dove underwater and later emerged to get his sister, Angel,
completely soaked. Sara laughed at the sight of it all. "Kids,"
she remarked to no one in particular as she rubbed her stomach in adoration.
"Tell me about it," Leslie said as she walked in the door.
"They'll never learn."
"Look who's talking you old lady," Sara teased
at the 19 year old. "You were like that at one point."
Leslie looked out the window and rolled her eyes at the water fight going on
outside. "I was never that stupid."
"I seem to remember a certain little girl who made it a game to hide
before she went home," Sara said with a grin forming on her face.
"Hey, that was fun," Leslie protested.
"Yeah, fun until you hid in the poison ivy."
"But I was what? 10? 11?"
"Try 16 babe," Sara said as she followed Leslie's
gaze outside. "Kids. They'll never learn."
"How's the baby?" Leslie asked after a pause.
Sara, caught off guard by the question, fumbled for an answer: but came up empty.
"Is everything OK?" Leslie asked concerned.
"Just fine," Sara replied as she looked at the wondering
eyes that were looking right back at her.
But Leslie wasn't so sure...
* * *
Everybody was gathered
inside the living room after finishing off their desert of strawberry shortcake.
Sara had taken all of the plates into the kitchen, much to Jane's
dismay, while everybody else relaxed and made small talk amongst themselves.
A strong pair of arms found their way around Sara and a pair of soft lips kissed
her neck softly. Sara nuzzled against Nick slightly as she continued to wash
another plate.
"I don't want to tell them," Nick whispered in
her ear.
"Nick, we have to," Sara whispered back as she shut off
the water and dried her hands on a nearby towel. "It's not
fair to any of us if we don't."
"I know but... I'm scared, Sara. I'm really
scared."
That was the first time Nick ever admitted that he was frightened in the least
about their situation. Hearing Nick say the words was enough to make her cry
on the spot.
"I'm scared too, but I think we have to tell them for our
own sanity," Sara said, feeling just as nervous as her counterpart.
"But I don't want to."
Sara breathed a heavy sigh and took Nick's hand. "I don't
want to either, but we both know that we need to." Nick still didn't
look satisfied. "I'll be right next to you." Still
no luck. Sara smiled. "I'll give you a cookie."
Nick grinned and rolled his eyes. "You're such a dork."
"But I'm a dork with an extra cookie if you don't
come with me," Sara teased.
* * *
"Nick, it's getting late. We've got to get going,"
Jane said as she glanced at her watch.
"Um, not just yet," Nick said loud enough to get everyone's
attention. "Sara and I have something to tell you guys."
"It's gonna have to wait. Leslie's got a photo
shoot, Aaron's gotta go to Europe, BJ has a voice lesson, and Angel's
got a doctor's appointment tomorrow. We need to get going,"
Bob replied.
"No, please just stay," Nick pleaded.
"Is something wrong?" Jane asked, feeling a knot form in
her stomach.
"Yeah," Nick said, taking the initiative to bite the bullet.
"Something's wrong." Everybody fell silent upon
hearing the words. "I went to the doctor the other day and he wanted
me to take a blood test."
"Did you pass?" Aaron quipped.
"I'm serious, Aaron," Nick replied. Aaron immediately
closed his mouth in wonderment. Nick continued. "The results came
back and..."
"And what?" Jane asked as she saw her son fight off some
demons that were invisible to the rest of them.
It was another few moments before Nick spoke again. He had started to lose his
composure, but Sara placed her arm around him in reassurance and rubbed his
back to help. He quickly wiped away a stray tear or two.
Aaron watched as his big brother, his hero, became unglued. Whatever was eating
at Nick felt like it was gnawing on Aaron's stomach as well. Nick
never cried. He was always the one who was strong for everyone.
Leslie's suspicions weren't totally unfounded. She had known
all along that something was indeed wrong, but couldn't quite put
her finger on it. It had started when she was talking to Sara in the kitchen
after she had finished swimming. From then on, Leslie had her eye out for anything
that could give her some sort of clue. She had come up empty, but these past
few moments confirmed her theory.
"Shh, Nick. It'll be OK," Sara whispered in his
ear in an attempt to soothe him. "You'll feel better once
you tell them."
Nick once again wiped his eyes with his arm hastily. "I hate it when
you're right," he muttered before he took a deep breath
and faced his family. "I'm sorry about this,"
Nick said ashamedly.
"Don't be," Jane said. "Whatever this
is has to be serious."
"Yeah, I'd say that," Nick muttered. He took one
last glance around the room at everyone before continuing. "The results
came back positive." He looked around at the faces of his family and
got bewildered expressions.
"Positive for what?" BJ questioned timidly. She was frightened
beyond her wildest nightmare at the fact that Nick was sobbing in front of her.
"HIV."
An eerie silence settled upon the living room as everybody attempted to digest
the information.
For Jane, the world shifted off of its axis. It simply stopped. Her baby? HIV
positive? Those two phrases didn't belong next to each other in a
horrible fiction novel, let alone reality. She started to feel light-headed
and clung to her husband for support as her own tears of disbelief, frustration,
and anger streamed down her face.
Leslie's stomach did an entire gymnastics routine in the span of five
seconds. She felt sick to her stomach and ran out of the room and into the nearest
bathroom. BJ took off after her sister, still in a state of disbelief herself.
Bob Carter held his wife as she clung to him for dear life. He saw everything
around him as if it was in a dream and he would wake up any minute from it.
But unfortunately, this was no dream: it was reality. It seemed odd to him that
everything still had a dewy, dream-like quality about it even though it was
the truth.
Angel sat beside Aaron clutching a pillow, rocking back and forth, and sobbing.
She was hurt, confused, and more than anything bewildered about what had just
transpired in the room where she was sitting. She wished she was somewhere else,
anywhere but where she was at the moment. Her knees felt weak and despite her
best attempt to stand, she was still sitting on the same chair she was a moment
before.
Aaron on the other hand, sat next to Nick, staring at him with a blank expression
on his face. The information had processed: Nick was HIV positive. But it hadn't
quite hit the fan yet.
"Aaron? You OK?" Nick questioned hesitantly. Nick had become
very weary of the look he was receiving from his brother.
"No," Aaron replied quietly. He then drew in a sharp breath,
turned on his heels, and ran out of the room. Everybody knew he had left the
house when they heard the glass sliding door leading to the back yard slam shut.
The faint sounds of vomiting in the background brought Jane back to reality.
"Sara, are you... are you..."
"I've contracted it too," was the soft reply.
"So the baby is contaminated as well?" Bob asked.
"Nick and I went to the specialist earlier in the week and she confirmed
the diagnosis. It's too early in the pregnancy to tell, but I was
given a special drug that helps prevent the baby from receiving the virus,"
Sara responded. "I'm still in the early stages, so we're
hoping we'll be lucky with everything."
"What are the chances?" Bob asked.
"There's a 25% success rate," Nick said unsteadily.
"We both felt that we needed to take any precautions to help the baby."
As Nick said this, he felt like he had aged 25 years. The past two days weighed
heavily on him and he was sure that things would be better once everything was
out in the open.
"I still can't believe this," Jane said to no
one in particular. "It's so sudden..."
"How long have you known?" Angel asked, speaking up for
the first time. All eyes turned to her.
"About a week," Sara replied kindly. "We thought
it was best to tell everyone while we were all together."
"It was," Bob responded. "You did the right thing
by telling us. I just wish you could have told us something different."
"You and me both," Nick muttered.
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