The Piccolo Player
Irving is walking around the streets of New
York one day when he spies an old friend of
his from college. "Moshe!" he yells. "I
haven't seen you in ages! How have you been?"
"Well," Moshe replies. "I am the piccolo
player for the International Orchestra."
"Spectacular!" the Irving replies.
"Oy! It is not what you might think, my
friend. We play for the Queen of England, she
loves the music. She says 'Fill the
instruments with gold!' and they fill the
tuba with gold and they fill the trombone
with gold, and me with the damn piccolo.
"We play for the King of Jordan. He loves the
music; he says 'Fill the instruments with
silver!' and they fill the tuba with silver
and they fill the trombone with silver, and
me with the damn piccolo.
"Then we play for Fidel Castro. He hates the
music; he says 'Shove the instruments up
their asses!' and the tuba doesn't fit and
the trombone doesn't fit. AND ME WITH THAT
DAMN PICCOLO!"
