Commercials these days are getting ridiculous. Most notably, ones around Maury’s time slot. Obviously, I (the college major) am not the target of this advertising. If it’s not an advertisement for lawyers, technical institutes (ie: I can’t do anything else so I should just work on cars thing), or a commercial for a big syndicated car dealership, it’s not allowed to sponsor Muary. Finally, one day, I’m watching and a commercial comes up for a bank. It was the dumbest commercial I’ve ever seen.
Starts off with people in line at the ATM machine. The announcer says, “Tired of bouncing from check to check with no return or effective way of spending money? Get a account at the *insert any bank name here* brand of banks.” And, if that wasn’t enough, they talked about a new item their bank came up with.
NOTE: Pay attention here: “You’ll get a debit card. It’s like having a bank account in a CARD! That’s right, no more running out to the ATM!” Do any of you assholes realize what this means? They are advertising a debit account like it’s a new thing! Why go to other banks when you can go to this one and get yourself a DEBIT CARD! My God, what a great invention! Or it was, about twenty years ago. Congrats, asshole, your bank sucks if that’s the only thing it has to offer.
Advertising is getting real bad during the day time. I guess it sort of makes since, considering Maury’s target audience is high school graduates working at dead end jobs like Burger King and Exxon/Mobile stations. It’s probably cost effective since the fucks thinking about these commercials aren’t smart enough to peel their eyes off MTV and get out of their parent’s basement. Lazy bastards should just put that phone down, not call the technical institute and suck a pump action shotgun.
Golden Crisp is another commercial that just pisses me off. Talking in non-sense isn’t interesting, clever or funny in any way. It makes your product look like it induces retardation on its victims. And from the looks of those french fries, any asshole that eats them is probably a victim.
These ads go down there with the radio adds that “…we’ll pay cash for your ideas!” radio ads. Oh, how great. Not only to I give YOU my good ideas, but you only pay me $100 bucks if they’re good AND I don’t get to keep any royalties?! Where the fuck do I sign up!?” How bout this, instead: I go and do the work to patent my idea, tell it to you for the $100 bucks and then let you realize that you can’t use the idea cause I HAVE A PATENT ON IT. Sounds better to me. I’d rather make more than $100 bucks later than have it thrown at me and then get shafted when some suit makes more money off of it than I am actually worth.
And don’t get me started on that art test pamphlet thing. “Do you like drawing and painting? Or do you just like to sketch or doodle?” DOODLE?! I, as an art major, am insulted that there are art schools out there that take in people who like to DOODLE. Any asshole worth half a bar of soap can fucking DOODLE. And you get accepted if you draw a cartoon turtle or a stylized pirate well enough!? I sent my comprehensive art test in to KU along with 300 other applicants who wanted to be in my major (Communication Design). 70 were picked. 70! But these assholes want people who can DOODLE so they can train them to do the SAME THING I’M PAYING 17 grand a year to achieve. That’s insulting.
My question to these advertisers: The people you are advertising too probably played high school sports and only graduated high school because of it. These people needed a year’s training to tie their shoe and you are going to send them to work on my cars or be my Registered Nurse? Fuck you! But, I guess the smart people in life have to deal with the half-assed tech students from the Technical Institute of Philadelphia. Here’s the deal, if it’s advertised on TV at noon when REAL people are working, its bullshit.
Now I’ll go off and do some DOODLING for my Drawing II and 3D classes.
Author: =][= Morok
Email: evilcanofjoy@kidsloveguns.com
