If The Buddha Dated by Charlotte Kasl, PhD. Compass The Penguin Group 1999 ISBN# 0-14-019583-1 Relationship is the one thing that there really is not a textbook for. Most of us chart our courses by bumping off of obstacles along the way, careening off in new directions and hoping for the best. Maybe it is time to slow down, take a deep breath, and look around us. In "If The Buddha Dated" Charlotte Kasl presents the spiritual side of dating. With a background in Buddhist, Quaker, Sufi and other religions, she gifts us with a work that provides a framework for manifesting love in our lives. She does this through examples, anecdotes and short exercises that allow the reader turn inward and see where they are coming from in their own lives. Relationship is a journey of self discovery. Our primary relationship needs to be with ourselves, and it is one that we need to work on as diligently as we work on all of the relationships in our lives. We need to live from the heart, to live from a point of caring and compassion. In forming our relationship with ourselves, we need to extend that caring and compassion to the parts of ourselves that we least like, the parts that we want to keep hidden. By staying focused on where we are *now* at any given point in time, we give ourselves a far better chance of staying centered and balanced. We need to *own* our feelings and our actions, releasing those that bring us harm. One of the most relevant exercises in this book for me was a Buddhist exercise that combines attention to the present and focusing on breathing to not only release painful experiences but to grow beyond them. If we choose to live our lives with integrity and truth, we create a stable platform upon which to manifest our dreams. We must be who we are, and not endeavor to show the face that we think others want to see. If we show the face that we think others want to see, two things will happen. At some point in time, we will lose ourselves in the person that we have created, and we will draw our fears closer to us. We will end up living from a position of fear, rather than one of joy. We need to find out who we are by staying centered in the moment. We need to establish our boundaries in our own minds, and then be willing to share them with those around us. Before we can establish a good, supportive relationship we have to take a look at what our expectations are, at what we think this relationship will do for us. If we expect another person to fill a huge hole in our lives, we are lost before we have begun. If we learn to love ourselves - the good and the bad of ourselves, and accept ourselves as we are, then we know what we have to give. And that is what is important - that we are willing to allow ourselves to open up to giving and to receiving. I highly recommend this book for anyone willing to put in the time and effort to working on themselves. This book can help you strengthen existing relationships, as well as manifesting new ones. It can also leave you feeling very good about yourself. (c) Bonnie Cehovet September 2001 Personal Lifestyle Reading - I offer a Personal Lifestyle Reading using Tarot that looks at past, present and future influences in your life, at the energies that are currently available to help you along your path, and at those energies that are appearing as challanges. My goal is to offer you insight into your decision making process, as well as tools that you can use to both better understand your path and make conscious, choice centered decisions. Home Personal Empowerment Personal Empowerment links Personal Empowerment articles View My Guestbook Sign My Guestbook Graphics by Art for the web