“Oh my God, Julie, I’m so sorry,” I said, still holding the pan over her.
“JC, you just spilled bacon grease on my $75 sweater!”
“I-I didn’t mean to.”
“Where is your head today?”
I looked up at the six faces staring at me, waiting for an answer. “I, uh, I don’t know.”
“Well, figure it out,” she stormed angrily out of the room.
“Listen, I’ll do the dishes and clean all this stuff up. You guys can go.”
“Oh, I’ll help you, Josh,” Emily said.
“Um, okay.”
“We’ll see you later,” Justin said as he and Erin got up from the table. “Take care, man.”
“Thanks, Jay.”
“So, did you guys have fun yesterday?”
“What?”
“Your guys’ night, did you have fun?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“You came back later than we expected.”
“We had to, uh, cool down.”
“I see.”
“D-did you have fun?”
“Yeah, we answered cheesy questions and stuff like that. It’s been awhile since I’ve around a bunch or girls. I’m always around you boys,” she said, punching me lightly in the arm causing me to drop the pitcher of juice I had been holding. It shattered into a hundred pieces.
“Ouch. Did your parents tell you not to break the dishes by any chance?”
“Yeah, they did actually.” She grabbed the broom and walked toward me. “Wait! There’s glass everywhere. Just give me the broom. You don’t have any shoes on.”
“Well at least I have socks on,” she said, pointing to my bare feet.
“I just don’t want you to cut yourself,” I said, taking the broom.
“I won’t.” She took it back.
“Um, just let me do it.”
“Fine,” she laughed, handing it back to me. “I’ll do the dishes.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
I slowly began to sweep up the pieces of glass and soaking up the orange juice. “So, Emily, what are you doing today?”
“Joey and I were going to do something.”
“Joey, huh? How are things going with you and him?”
“Pretty good. He’s a real sweetheart.”
“Joey?”
“Yeah, and I guess I’ve always had a little crush on him anyways.”
“You never told me that,” I said, standing up.
“Well, JC, I don’t tell you everything.”
“Why not? I tell you everything.”
“You do not.”
“What haven’t I told you?’
“You didn’t tell me for weeks that you and Julie were dating.”
“You weren’t very happy when I told you either.”
“I’m still not.” She paused. “Especially since you are still with her and kissing her when you don’t even like her.”
“I know.”
“Especially since you, uh, like someone else now.” She was right. I liked someone else now, but that girl happened to be out of the question. Never, in a million years, did I think I would have a very serious thing for my best friend. “Josh, snap out of it.”
“Huh?”
“You were just staring off into space.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Like I just said, dishes are done, so I’m gonna head out now. Joey’s gonna be waiting.”
“Joey?”
“Yup. I’ll see you later, okay?” She came up to me and kissed me quickly on the cheek. “Bye, JC.”
“I’ll see you later then, Emily,” I said softly into her ear.
She looked at me strangely as she pulled away. “Are you…”
“Hey, Em!” Joey yelled as he came into the door. “You ready?”
“Yeah,” she said, turning to him. “Later, Josh, okay?”
“Okay.”
“JC! What the hell is going on with you?” Emily said before I had even reached the top of the rope ladder.
“Geez, Em,” I said, climbing into the tree house. “Your note said you wanted to talk to me. I didn’t know I was going to be yelled at.”
“Cut it out.”
“What?”
“You have been acting strange with me all day long. Why don’t you just tell me what I’ve done or what has crawled up your ass, so we can both get on with our lives.”
I sat down on the small wooden crate that for many years served as a chair. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Em.”
“Don’t lie to me. Don’t you dare look me in the eyes and tell me that something isn’t bugging you. You have been spacing out and ignoring me all day long. Not to mention avoiding me. You see me in a room and leave! What the hell have I done to deserve this?”
“Oh, no, don’t get mad,” I said, jumping up from my seat. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Then what is it?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? So you’re being an ass for no reason?”
“Yeah.”
“Stop it, JC. Can’t you just tell me?”
“No.”
“What’s going on with you. You have been so unlike yourself these past couple of days.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you mad at me for leaving you on the beach?”
“Have you kissed Joey?
“Excuse me?”
“Have you kissed Joey?”
“I don’t see how any of that would be your business.”
“I’m supposed to be your best friend, therefore it would be my business.”
“Fine then, no, I haven’t.”
“Now look who’s the liar.”
“How am I a liar?”
“Oh, so you really haven’t kissed him?”
“I-I, fine! I have, but I don’t see how it’s so important to you!”
“He’s not right for you.”
“Is this what’s bugging you?”
“No, it’s just that you don’t know how he treats girls.”
“He’s been treating me pretty well.”
“He went out with three girls at the same time last summer!”
“That’s not true.”
“Ask him. He’ll tell you. He’s proud he pulled it off.”
“Not true.”
“Three girls, and none of them knew about the other two, still don’t.”
“Why are you telling me this, Josh?”
“Back on Sunday, when we were in the woods, he was talking about your ass and how the rest of your body looks.”
“So,” she said as tears came into her eyes.
“Is that the kind of guy you want to be with? One who looks at your breasts instead of your mind, your talents?”
“Stop.”
“He’s not right for you.”
“Why can’t you just let me be happy for once? Why do you have to ruin this for me?”
“I…”
“Just because you don’t like him, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t go out with him. I’ve never liked Julie, you’ve known that. You’re still going out with her.”
“That is so different.”
“How?”
“I don’t know, but it is. Besides, look what’s happened to me and Julie.”
“You know, I value your opinion, I really do. But if you’re getting all bent out of shape because you don’t like the guy I’m with, then deal with it.”
“I’m just looking out for you. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I’ve been hurt plenty by guys, JC. Some of them did it with out even knowing. I can handle it. I’m a big girl. And,” she sniffed, pushing back tears, “we’re no ten anymore. I’m not always gonna be your sidekick, and I’m not always going to do what you think I should.”
“God damn it, Emily. I can’t believe you’re being so hard headed! I’m sorry if you think I’m being a jerk, and I’m sorry that I don’t think you should be with Joey. Most of all, I’m sorry I can’t tell you what’s going on with me. These past couple of days I have been dealing with a lot of shit. A lot of confusing, complicated stuff that I really truly wish I wasn’t feeling, but I am. And until I figure everything out, I can’t tell you, but you are making it a hell of a lot easier for me now.”
“Oh, good. I’m glad to be of some service to you.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“You know what? I’m sick of this, Josh. When you grow up and decide to be straight with me come talk to me cause as of now, this conversation is over.” She climbed down the ladder and stormed away.
“Damn it!” I yelled, pushing over the table that stood in a corner. I slumped down and buried my head in my hands. In the entire history of mine and Emily’s friendship, all ten years, we had never once gotten into a fight. Sure, once in awhile we would bicker over which movie to see, but we had never gotten into a true blue fight.
I don’t think I ever felt worse about something in my life. She had a right to be angry with me for acting strange, especially since I couldn’t give her an explanation to why. It was just that I didn’t know how to act around her anymore. I wish she understood that I wasn’t ready to tell her what was going on. You can’t just casually tell your best friend that you’re in love with them.