The look of pain in Justin’s eyes was unbearable to watch. I slowly climbed off of his lap and walked out of the room to my bunk.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” I said quietly to myself.
The guys walked pass me in what seemed like slow motion. Justin’s head was downcast until he was at the bus’s door. He turned around and looked at me with such disgust that it made me wish I was never born. He shook his head and disappeared down the stairs. I let out a deep sigh after realizing I was holding my breath.
“Thanks, Lili,” Drew said, stopping in front of me. “For not kissing Justin. It really means a lot to me.”
“No problem, Drew. What are best friends for?” I smiled. She gave me a quick hug and excited the bus so I was alone.
I threw my journal into my backpack so that my stuff was ready to get in a little bit. I looked around at the rows of bunks and various things lying around. How was I ever going to survive this trip? Maybe Ben was right, and I was making a mistake.
When I got outside everybody had already gone into the hotel. Everybody except Justin, that is. He was leaning against a tree, looking up at the sky, deep in thought.
“Thanks for waiting,” I said, walking over to him.
“We need to talk. Now. Alone,” he said heavily, a certain anger to his voice. He turned and walked into the lobby. “Excuse me, sir.” The man behind the counter turned around.
“Yes?”
“Is there a quiet place I could go and talk to my friend? We aren’t situated in our rooms yet.” The guy looked him up and down and began to turn to go about his work. “Please. It’s really important.” He slid a wad of bills across the counter.
“Of course, sir. There is a green house at the end of that hallway. The door has been sticking a bit, so you might need this.” He handed Justin a key.
“Thank you,” he smiled. “Come on, Lili.”
The garden was absolutely beautiful. I mean, it came out of a dream. There were flowers and vines everywhere, trees covered in tiny white Christmas lights, and a gazebo in the center surrounded by a small creek that reflected everything. It was incredibly romantic. If only he wasn’t pissed at me…
Justin took my hand gently and led me over a little bridge into the gazebo before sitting me down. “Lili,” he began, “you were absolutely right when you said I knew the reason for not kissing you yet.”
“And it is?”
“After that scene, do I really need to tell you? You won’t let me hold your hand when we’re not alone. You won’t let me hug you, you won’t let me touch you, you won’t let me hold you. How, then, am I going to kiss you?”
“But…” I began in defense, but nothing could follow that. I knew he was right.
“But nothing. You just had a dare to kiss me. That’s, like, no excuses, no strings attached. A dare! But you still wouldn’t. I honestly don’t get you.”
“Justin,” I sighed. “I know I pull away from you. And it’s not because I don’t want you to take my hand in yours, or because I don’t want you to kiss me cause God knows I do. I really do.”
“Then why don’t you?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Is it because Drew likes me?” He knew that Drew had a crush on him? How did he know that? “It’s sorta obvious,” he said, reading the expression off my face.
“Okay. Here’s the thing: she likes you a whole heck of a lot…”
“But I like you,” he interrupted. “Not her. You. I haven’t been able to think of anything but you since I caught you at the gas station. Then it drove me crazy, the thought that you and Ben were going out. And I wanted to kiss you so badly out in the snow, but I was supposed to leave the next morning, and I’m not one to do something like that, otherwise, I probably would have then, or when we were talking that night.” He went and sat down on the railing opposite of me. “I invited you on this trip so I could get to know you better, but the more I try, the more you pull away, the more nervous you get around me, and it’s only been a day! You don’t have to be nervous.” He was repeating everything I already knew, and he was beginning to babble.
“Justin,” I interrupted as I got up and walked over to him.
“Huh?”
“Shut up.” I leaned into him and gently pressed my lips against his. He responded by sliding to his feet, wrapping his arms around me, and, well, honestly, he kissed me senseless. I became lost in the smell of his cologne, the taste of his lips, and the little world that surrounded us. I must have been crazy for not doing it earlier.
“Justin?” I pulled away from him slightly.
“Yeah?”
“Will you do me a favor?” I asked.
“Anything.”
“Could we, well, can we keep this a secret, kinda keep it between us?”
He took a step back, dropping his arms from around my waist. “Why?”
“I just have something that I’m dealing with, and it would be easier if…”
“Lili, we just went through all of this,” he sighed.
“Please. I mean, think about it. It could be very romantic.” I smiled as I hooked his pinkies with mine. “Stolen kisses, midnight rendezvous, holding hands under the table. Justin, think of the possibilities. It could be like Romeo and Juliet.”
“It’s a tragedy, Lili. They die at the end.”
“You’re completely missing the point.”
“Okay, okay,” he laughed. “We can keep it a secret, but I’m warning you now, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to last.”
“Thank you.”
“How could I possibly say no?”
“I hope you never do.” -
“Drew? What time are we supposed to be at breakfast?” I yawned, slowly sitting up in my bed.
“Sleeping Beauty finally decides to wake up. It’s a miracle,” she said sarcastically.
“Very funny. It’s not my fault I was so tired.”
She peeked out of the bathroom with her eyebrows raised. “What time did you get in last night?”
“Around three,” I answered sheepishly.
“Yeah. That’s no reason to be tired. God, Lili, where the hell were you? First night of a trip, and my best friend ditches me.”
“I was around,” I said, turning over onto my side. The night before was amazing. Justin and I sat in the garden not really talking that much, just enjoying each other’s company, which I never realized was possible. The time flew by so quickly. When we realized it was three, he nearly had a heart attack. We ran through the hotel to our rooms, and just before entering he gave me one last kiss. Perfect.
“Earth to Lili!” Drew yelled in my ear.
“What?” I jumped up.
“Hurry up. We were supposed to be there, like, five minutes ago.”
“We’re late!” I jumped out of bed, threw my jeans and a sweater on, and ran into the bathroom to clean myself up a bit. Soon after I heard a knock on the door and Drew talking to someone.
“Lili!”
“What?” I asked, my mouth full of toothpaste.
“There’s something here for you, a special delivery.”
“What!” I spit everything out and ran out of the bathroom. Drew was holding a long white box with a enormous red bow. She was also trying to peak. “Hey, hey, hey!” I said, taking the box from her. “No peaking.”
“Who in the world did you get flowers from?”
“I don’t know.” I slowly untying the ribbon.
“Are they roses?”
“I don’t know. Would you mind?” I asked, sitting down on my bed, my back to her.
“Sorry, I’m just curious.”
“Oh my God,” I sighed, lifting the lid to find two dozen white lilies.
“Wow,” Drew said in shock. “Those are beautiful. Is there a card?”
“Yeah.” I picked up the tiny envelope out of the box and slid the card out. “He drew a little heart. That’s so cute,” I smiled.
“Who?”
“No one.”
“Lili.” Oops.
“Can’t I keep a secret?”
“Not from me.” If only she knew.
“It’s not important.” She tried to snatch the card from my hand. “Drew!” I jumped off the bed as she chased me.
“Let me see the card.”
“No!” I said, hiding behind the table.
“Ophelia Eve Stevenson!”
“Oh my God,” I said, standing up straight. “I so can’t believe you just called me that.”
“I can.” She snatched the card from my fingers and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.
“Drew!”
“To my Lili,” she began. “Just a thank you for the wonderful night. These just reminded me of you, as pure and beautiful as the new fallen snow (Too bad you finally surrendered). Love, Your Romeo.”
“You read it.”
“Your Romeo? Oh God,” she laughed, opening the door. “Who is this loser?”
“He’s not a loser,” I stated, taking my card back. “He’s the biggest sweetie in the world.”
“Yeah right, Lili. He’s a fag. He drew a heart for love. The fact that he even signed it love, come on.”
“I happen to think it’s cute.”
“Oh puh-leez.”
“Come on. We have to go.”
“You sent her flowers?” Joey laughed.
“Yeah.”
“You big softie,” he said, punching me in the arm.
“Laugh all you want, okay? But if you experienced what I experienced last night, you would have too.”
“Holy shit! You…”
“No! I wouldn’t. No! God, I’ve only known her for a few days. Joey, you’re dirty.”
“Yup.” Everyone nodded in agreement.
“Hey!”
“You’re dirty now, you were dirty before, and you will always be dirty. You’ll grow up to be a dirty old man that watches kiddy porn on the computer.”
“How do you know I don’t already?”
I pushed my bowl of cereal away from me as my appetite disappeared. “That’s it. We’re breaking up the group. ‘N Sync no longer exists.” I paused. “Wait, no, Joey, we’re just kicking you out. I was joking before, but you really are dirty.”
“Yeah, man,” Chris said, sliding his chair away from him. “Did you take a shower this morning?”
“Yes.”
“So, Justin. I’m guessing you guys got everything settled yesterday,” JC said.
“Yeah. The dare kind of brought things to the surface. Thanks.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
“Man,” Lance said, shaking his head. “That game got a little intense.”
“When she wouldn’t kiss you. Classic.”
“Grow up, Joey,” JC sighed.
“Here they come,” I said as I spotted Lili and Drew walking toward the table.
“It’s about time,” Lance mumbled.
“Just remember, we’re kinda keeping this under wraps, so don’t say anything.”
“Hey, guys,” Drew smiled.
“Morning.”
“Sorry we’re late,” Lili apologized, sitting down next to me. “I slept in. It was kind of a late night for me.” I took her hand underneath the table and squeezed it.
“Yeah, with your secret boyfriend,” Drew said, sitting down next to Lance.
“Secret boyfriend?” JC asked.
“Yeah, and she won’t tell me who he is. Some best friend.”
“Ah, Lili, sweetie, are you cheating on me?” Chris said, acting hurt.
“Chris, sweetie, that could never happen. My love for you is just too deep.” I pulled my bowl of Apple Jacks back to me and took a nice big bite. Oh, the relaxation that could only come from cereal.
“Oh, but whoever he is, he’s gotta be the biggest fag in the world.” I began choking on the bite of cereal that I had just taken as Drew insulted me.
“Are you okay?” Lili asked.
I nodded, chugging down my water. “Yeah. It just went down the wrong tube. That’s all.”
“So, anyway, he sent her flowers, lilies. Oh, that’s creative. I mean, you wanna impress a girl, send roses.”
“No way,” Lili said. “Roses are majorly overplayed. Any holiday comes up and what does a guy think of? Roses. Your birthday- roses, anniversary- roses, Valentines day- roses.”
“I thought girls liked roses,“ Joey said, suddenly worried.
“Roses are nice, but I liked getting lilies. It shows he put some thought into it. It’s cute, like getting daisies or tulips.”
“Anyways,” Drew said, trying to get the topic back on Lili’s ‘secret boyfriend.’ “There’s more. So then we have the card.”
“The card?” I squeaked. I could feel my face getting red. There was just no way she could have read the card.
“Drew, come on. Don’t go into the card.”
“They’ll get a kick out of it.”
“I didn’t even want you to read it. It’s private.”
“Drew,” I began, “we really don’t need to know what the card said.”
“Oh, yes we do,” Chris laughed.
“I’m pretty curious,” added Lance.
“Me, too,” smirked JC.
“Okay. So it says thanks for the great night, ya know. Then it’s like, these reminded me of you, as pure and beautiful as the new fallen snow or something like that.” She got it right.
“How poetic,” sighed Joey.
“Oh Lance, hold me!” cried JC.
“There’s more.”
“I didn’t think that was possible,” said Joey.
“First, he drew a little heart for love…” My face was burning now, and the guys couldn’t have gotten a bigger kick out of this. “Second…” Don’t say it. “He signed it ‘Your Romeo.’”
Fits of laughter. They all had tears in their eyes, they were laughing that hard. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I couldn’t believe they all knew what I wrote. I never expected anyone to see it but Lili.
“Drew,” Lili said quietly. “Drew!” she repeated louder when she didn’t get a response.
“Huh?”
“First of all, I thought it was incredibly sweet of him to send me flowers. It was a wonderful surprise. And the card was beautiful, every word was perfect.” I was glad she thought so.
“Real lovely,” Chris laughed.
“But you shouldn’t have said anything. That was really embarrassing.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. It was just too adorable when you opened that box and read that card. You had the goofiest smile on your face. Must be a great guy.”
“Yeah, he is,” she said, smiling. Mission accomplished. -
“Justin, that was the seventh time you’ve missed the hackey sac,” JC said, staring at my feet.
“I’ve noticed,” I mumbled.
“The show is going to be so late tonight,” Lance sighed.
“I’m just out of practice.”
“Nah, Romeo, she whipped your ass,” Chris said, laughing.
“At least I have somebody to whip my ass,” I snapped back.
“As pure and beautiful as the new fallen snow,” Joey recited, batting his eyelashes.
“I can’t believe this.” All day long, they had been teasing me, nonstop.
“Justin, you really are a fag,” Chris said.
“Let it go, you guys. Just drop it.”
“Hello?” Lance said. “This is way too good. How could we not bug you about it. It’s what friends are for.”
“Justin, how could you stoop down to such a sappy level?” JC asked, shaking his head.
“Hey, I only learn from the best. What was that one letter you sent to Bobbi? ‘Your eyes are as beautiful as the sea, your lips…”
“As red as fresh strawberries,” Chris finished.
“JC, you have to admit, that was pretty bad.”
“Okay, but that was, like, a long time ago.”
“Yeah, but he didn’t sign it ‘Your Romeo’,” Lance pointed out.
“True, true,” Chris laughed.
“It’s an inside joke you guys.”
“Romeo, Romeo. Where for art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and re…”
“Shut up, Joey,” Chris said, slapping his hand over Joey’s mouth.
“I just gotta say, the look on your face, first when Drew called you a fag, then when she was talking about the card, it was priceless,” JC laughed. “I will remember that forever.”
“Man, Drew must be the dumbest blond in the world. You were the only one not laughing, besides Lili, of course,” Lance said.
“Oh, and it was, what word did she use?” Joey asked.
“Adorable,” Chris smirked.
“That’s it, adorable. It was too adorable. The two of you sitting next to each other, both as red as tomatoes. Man, she must be a moron.”
“Just remember, I don’t want this to get around, so it’s okay that you know, but nobody else.”
“Whatever you say, Romeo.”