All Apologies



All Apologies Part 1

Lee Burton
"Well, I think they're way too young to be thinking about marriage. They're still in high school, no-one knows who or what they want for the rest of their lives at that age." Pacey's father ranted after learning about Dawson's proposal to Joey at her welcomehome party.
"It's obvious that he was just scared of losing her, I mean we've known since you guys were about five that they'd eventually hook up, this is all just a result of the accident." Doug added walking into the room with a beer and sitting down on the couch.
"Come on, she was in a coma for a week!" Pacey retaliated, "Of course he was scared of losing her. It'd be like tearing him in two and burying half. They've loved each other for years and everyone has seen it for years, except them of course." Paceyadded.
"Always the jokester huh?" Doug replied, smiling at Pacey with his overused I'm-about-to-ream-you look. "Yeah, Doug, I always joke around when one of my best friends is nearly killed." Pacey replied with a cold stare and a pretty strong tone of sarcasm.
"There you go again! If you put all of that stupid wit asideyou might actually make something of yourself." His father angrilyspouted at Pacey.
"I don't believe this! As soon as you two are in the roomtogether you can't think of anything better to do than ream my sorry ass." Pacey argued standing up from the recliner he was sat in. "Watch your mouth." His father retaliated sharply, as Pacey who was getting very agitated, walked towards the door.
"Where do you think you're going? You're going to sit and listen to what I have to say." His father said, obviously irritated at his son's behavior. "No Dad, I refuse to listen to you and Doug rip my already battered ego apart just for personal enjoyment. Oh, and you should have a serious talk to Doug about personal enjoyment, you might find it enlightening. I'm out of here." Pacey spouted off before slamming the door shut as he took off down the street.
"Damn! When the hell is this crap gonna end?" Pacey grumbled as he walked down to the creek, where he began to wander, thinking deep thoughts about everything that's been going on. His life seemed to be hovering between crappy and downright unlivable. He then realized that he had stopped right in front of the docks outside Jen's house. Pacey walked out on the docks to see a short female figure nearthe end of the dock.
Pacey approached the person, who he couldn't identify with itbeing so dark on the dock, but he was damn sure it was Jen. As he approached the person he caught his foot on a loose board and grunted. Jen spun around, "Who's there?" she asked looking at the intruder to her own serene and peaceful time to herself.
"Oh, hi Pacey, you caught me by surprise" she said after seeing who it was. "Well, that was the idea." Pacey laughed, but not convincingly, Jen could sense anger in his voice.
"So, what brings you all the way down here at 11pm?" she asked already knowing the answer. "You know, the nightly Pacey-bashing" he replied sounding aggravated. "So, how'd you sneak out of the house at this ungodly hour?" he asked with a fakedsmile.
"Tied my grandmother down to her chair." She said to Pacey with a smile, who immediately laughed and responded "What, is it back to business as usual already?"
"Not really, but she was on a religious rampage earlier, so I needed to get out for a while." She said also sounding irritated. "So, you planning to stick around Capeside?" he asked, considering if was a bad question to ask since she only planned to stay while helping Mrs. Lindley watch her grandfather, and she still hadn'tfully healed from his death.
"I can't go back to New York now, this place, despite already getting me in trouble a few times, has kinda grown on me." She answered his question, knowing he didn't asking with any cruelty. "I'm glad to hear that." He replied in an increasingly bettermood.
"Any particular reason? I know you love watching Joey cringe every time I talk to Dawson. Is that it?" she asked, getting a little defensive. "Whoa, I see you've put up your anti-Pacey wit shield." He laughed. "No Jen, Since Joey and Dawson got together, I've kinda been left out. I like having a friend to talk to that's all." Jen looked at him and smiled ear-to-ear glad to hear someone actually wanted her to stay. She really did like Capeside.
"Anyway, things would be boring again if you left. You and me have to keep things moving, Jo and Dawson would just as soon watch ETuntil they're old and gray." Pacey commented, getting a laugh outof Jen.
"Hey, I love it here, and I can't think of going through the day without your daily dose of wit. Plus it's funny as hell watching you and Joey squabble." Jen replied with her hands on her hips, and a large grin on her face. Pacey felt a funny twinge when he saw her smile and he wasn't sure why. "Wait a minute Pacey, you can't be falling for Jen now... Can you?" he thought, turning back to look at thewater.
"Well Jen, it's been enlightening, but I need to think about what I'm doing tonight. As far as I know they've changed the locks by now." Pacey said following a sigh.
"Pacey, you can't keep going on like this, just taking in all of the resentment they give you. You need to tell your dad how you feel, and let him know that he's hurt you, and it sounds like you need to do it soon." She said, snapping back to reality. "That's funny, Joey suggested that a while back, maybe I should take the advice, nah. There's no way he'll listen. He'll just start ragging on meagain." Pacey thought aloud.
"Come on Pacey, he's your father. Under all of that angerand false resentment, he loves you." She replied to his last response. "You have to talk to him. You don't realize how important family is, until you lose it." She said, obviously getting upset, thinking about her grandfather. "I mean, you've seen Joey, her mother's death must have been hell for her. You have to tell him, you can't hold back or when you finally get the courage, it'll be too late." She spat out as quickly as she could, on the verge oftears.
"Whoa, Jen. I know I need to do this, but it isn't up to me if he wants to listen or not." Pacey replies, and continues "Unless I can get him when Doug can't get him riled up. They play off each other, it's like a little game." He finishes, turning toJen only to see that she had begun to cry.
"I'm sorry Jen, it has to be hard to lose someone like that.I know I under-appreciate my family as much as they under-appreciate me." Pacey said, putting his arm around her and told her "Comeon, everything's going to be fine."
"It's just so hard Pacey, all of the pain and hurt between us can't be good." She said between sobs. "I mean, we nearly lost Joey, I lost my gramps, you're losing your family. When will all the pain just go away?" she asked him with tears rolling down hercheek.
Pacey looked back at her and honestly told her "I don't know Jen, I wish I could tell you, but I just don't know..."
To be continued...

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