Sven

The buzzing of the alarm hits me like a bat to the head. I can't believe I forgot to turn it off. But it's understandable since yesterday was not a typical day on Arus.

Then again, maybe it was.

I open one eye and stare at the big red numbers that seem to be laughing in my face.

BLEEP...BLEEP...BLEEP

My bed feel so nice and warm. My pillow has never felt softer. For once there aren't any explosions outside and I don't have to get up. I don't want to get up. I told Lance I'd only take a short nap, but it turned into a six hour snooze. So I'm wondering why it feels like I went to bed ten minutes ago. But it's, understandable since this is the first bit of rest I've had in two--or is it three?--days.

It takes all the energy I have to stretch out an arm and smash my palm onto the top of my alarm clock. It's enough to hit the snooze button, but I fight the urge to go back to sleep. It's quiet on Arus now, but things have to get done. I push my covers back and shiver as the chilly air hits me. It helps wake me up. That, and the remembrance of things that have happened the past few days. Just the thought of it all makes my heart beat just a little bit faster.

The images of Allura getting her back broken, of blasting through the Doom ship to get Lance, pressing my fingers against Keith's neck to check for a pulse, and then not finding one, flash through my thoughts. It's overwhelming. As an officer of the Alliance Forces, I've been trained to handle critical situations. But sitting in class and taking notes about stress management, and handling the real deal are two completely different things. Our infiltration of the Doom ship does not bother me. I've caused a lot of destruction in my day, but seeing two of my friends like this haunts my dreams. That I have never seen before and I hope to never see again.

After I get dressed, I head out to the Control Room where I'm sure Lance is waiting for me. He's been looking like hell and I feel guilty at having slept so long. I hope he took a break, but I doubt it. As I turn down the final corridor that leads to the control room, I run into Romelle. Her navy eyes light up when she sees me and I feel an answering lightness in the region of my heart as I return her smile.

"Good afternoon," she says, her husky voice music to my ears.

I pull her into my arms and kiss her forehead. She leans into me and rests her head on my shoulder, sighing deeply. I realize then that she's just as tired as I am. I hold her away at arms length and I see the lines around her mouth.

"Are you going go get some rest?" I ask.

"Yes. Coran is forcing me to."

"Good. You need it."

Her smile is wry. "Thanks. That's what every girl likes to hear."

I chuckle. "I know all the tricks. Would you like me to walk you to your room?"

She kisses me lightly and shakes her head. "It's alright. I'll be fine."

I nod and watch her go. Even after all this time, after all the trust she has put in me, she still can't bring herself to let me anywhere near her rooms. I understand. After all she's been through with Lotor and God knows what else, she is very protective of herself. And scared. I just wish she'd let me show her that it's not all bad. I want to share that with her. She's the first woman, in my life that I want nothing from other than her love. I admit, I was a player when I was at the Academy before I met Romelle, and I wasn't planning on changing that. I shunned monogamy and marriage scared the crap out of me, but after Doom and meeting her...

Lance tells me that it's because she hasn't "put out" yet. He's not the most genteel of men, but even Keith said he may have a point. They tell me I'm attached to Romelle because she's the first woman to not give me what I want. They don't believe me when I tell them that I don't want just that from her. I want her. All of her. I think I'm finally settling down. It's not as bad I thought it would be.

I walk through the doors of Castle Control. People are going back and forth between stations and Coran is sitting at the main control panel like a King watching over his subjects. I stand for a moment to watch the scene. Well, I'm almost settling down if you don't count the constant battles and political procedures I have to go through. Life on Arus is never boring, I can tell you that.

"Where's Lance?" I ask, walking up to Coran.

"He's with Keith," Coran said, the corners of his mouth turned down.

I flinch at the sound of my friend's name. We've been through a lot, Keith, Lance, and I. We've saved each other's butts from enemy fighters, from possible disciplinary action--well that's more like Keith saving mine and Lance's butts. I can't imagine life without them. I've visited Keith, but I can't sit next to him for too long. I look at how he's not moving, just lying there, his face colorless. I feel this helplessness that I can't take and I have to leave. He's the strongest person I know. Seeing him like that...

I push that thought out of my head. He'll get better. He has to. If he doesn't, Allura will fall apart, and then this entire place will fall apart. I don't know what's going on with the two of them, but Romelle tells me that only good things will come out of it. I believe her. Keith and Allura are soulmates. They know it. They just don't know what to do about it yet.

"I'll take over," I say to Coran. "You need some rest."

"I can't. Not yet. But I do have other business to attend to," he says, standing. "I'll be back in an hour."

"Get some rest, Coran," I say as seriously as I can. "We don't need anyone else in the medwing."

He nods, but I know he'll be back in an hour. Damn these people and their sense of responsibility. Look where it got Keith, and Allura, and Pidge. Do I sound disillusioned? Well, I'm not. I'm just...frustrated. Can you blame me?