EWA (Extreme Wrestling Association) Wrestler Profiles- Page 2

PAST EWA GREATS, NON-REGULARS


Drakon-

6'2"- 210 lbs.- from Parts Unknown
Music- "The Heretic Anthem" by Slipknot
Finisher(s)-Inverted Tombstone, Drakon Kick, Tilt-o-whirl Shoulderbreaker
Titles- EWA World(2), EWA US(1), PXW World(1), WWF IC(1)

Drakon reeks of one thing, and one thing only... pure comedy! Absolutely no wrestling skills! No, just kidding, he also uses the element of chaos that Natas uses... Drake lacks the amount of maneuvers that his fellow New Breeder Natas has, but makes up for it with his devastating kicks and brawling skills... he has held Titles back in EWA2, but has since retired for the following two Revolutions... EWA1 did not see Drakon, even though the Superstar Chainz was once rumored to be the same man... it's simply not true... anyways, he has made his last stint in the EWA a big one, winning the World Title again while he was at it... but he has left for the WWF along with Natas, and plans on never returning to the EWA... even though making a small guest appearance at Show #50... and although he follows Natas wherever he goes, Drake still has a chance of an EWA appearance or two, even if not in action... we'll see...


Ground Zero-

6'0"- 170 lbs.- from the Florida Keys
Music- "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendrix
Finisher(s)- Droppin' DDT, Spinning Roundhouse Kick, God-Killa, Shoulder Butt
Titles- EWA World(1)

Ground Zero is the innovator of high-flying Hardcore action in these parts! He has been wrapped in barbwire and thrown through a burning table at one point in his career! Like "Notorious", Ground Zero has a lot of technical wrestling skill, and he takes bumps with the best of them... it's painful to watch him fall over and over, yet still get up... he was a mainstay in EWA's 1st Revolution, and was undefeated for quite awhile as their champ! His career is legendary... he even made a short return in EWA2000 to fight a few matches which he lost most of... and after showing up in one of the pre-EWA4 skits, and being knocked off the infamous Deerstand, GZ officially called it quits, and went into retirement! Now he's probably back down in the beautiful suns of Florida, enjoying the heat, while some of the guys are still bustin' their arses off here, hehe...


"Notorious" Jevon Hill-

6'0"- 175 lbs.- from the State of New York
Music- "Hypnotize" by Notorious B.I.G.
Finisher(s)-New York-style Elbow, Notorious Edge, Running Big Splash
Titles- NWF Tag Team w/ Sledge(1), EWA World(1), EWA IC(1)

The most Notorious gangsta from the great State of New York! Back in the old days of EWA1, Jevon called himself Marvelous, but once he had won some IC Gold he changed it to Notorious, and took a whole new life... he is known by many for his Marvelous Setdown and Marvelous Slam... two cheesy maneuvers that couldn't harm a fly... but he has improved much since, after some career-defining brawl with Ground Zero down in Florida and around here... he made a return in EWA2000 with a few matches, and his skills had definitely shown improvement... he seemed to have the mat skills closer to a pro level of this sport than anyone else in the Fed! Much improved, he had some classic battles with Psycohol, and in EWA4, he returned once again to finally win his first EWA World Title from Psyco! Then as he was stripped for using steroids, he also officially announced his retirement... but recently he made a small return for the 50th show, in a 6-Man Tag Match! And then he wrestled a couple other shows recently... I think it's safe to say that his permanent retirement has been thrown out the window... I'm sure he will be there for the EWA whenever available, which is great news!


Kamilian-

5'10"- 162 lbs.- from Chicago, Illinois
Music- "Valtio" by Sepultura
Finisher(s)- Kammy Klutch, Full Nelson Atomic Drop, Ananola Leglock
Titles- EWA IC(1)

The Kamilian, no friends and hated by all... hell, he hates everyone too! Back in EWA1 he seemed to be basically just another Jobber,but one who got some credit, especially after winning a huge 10 man Cage match against EWA's top Superstars of the time! Since then he had disappeared for awhile... then all of a sudden in EWA4, he came outta nowhere to become a regular once again... Apparently he had been fighting in some underground shoot fighting league in a nearby city, with an almost perfect record, fighting men and women, sometimes twice his size... but many EWA Superstars are speculating if any of this is true or not... anyways, he used his submission skills, which confused many wrestlers, because it was not what they were used to... finally, he snagged the IC Title just before the EWA4 ended... Kammy made a short return in EWA's Show #50 along with many others, and now seems to be back to his "shootfighting" or whatever it is...


Mad Dog/Gaybird-

5'10"- 185 lbs.- Alabama
Music- "Shout at the Devil by Motley Crue (Mad Dog), "Lesbian Seagull" by Engelbert Humperdinck (Gaybird)
Finisher(s)- Death Valley Driver, Frankensteiner Reversal, Powerbomb
Titles- none

Mad Dog was one of EWA1's top Superstars... along with Jevon he introduced Psycohol to the EWA back way before Psyco was a Superstar... as for what he was like, this guy had a split-personality... one side of him was Mad Dog, the other Gaybird... when Mad Dog came out, he wanted to brawl, but everytime he lost! Never won a match! But on the other hand, when Gaybird came out, acting gay and stuff, his opponents seemed to have a fear of being molested or something, so they tried to stay away from him, and he went undefeated, winning all his matches! If Mad Dog would have just stayed away, maybe this legendary brawler could have gone undefeated and maybe been World Champion... Psycohol is rumored to insistanty want a match with this backyard legend to say that he has beaten him, but Mad Dog never seems to show when contacted... is he afraid? Nah, probably just retired...


Man Mountain Bumpkin-

6'5"- 500 lbs.- San Diego, CA
Music- various Ozzy Osbourne songs...
Finisher(s)- Powerbomb

Man Mountain Bumpkin is unquestionably the largest man in EWA History, tipping the scale at nearly 500 lbs.!!! But the contradiction here is.... that he NEVER won a match in EWA1! He had a series of matches with Ground Zero and other, yet never pulled out a single victory, despite his enormous size! And he did have some powerful moves too... Bumpkin's also been known to get hardcore, pulling out fire, tables, and barbwire to punish his opponents... most notably GZ... MMB did make one appearance in EWA2 as the Kodiak Bear, and yes, he did get his 1st win! Unfortunately it was also his last, as he retired or disappeared directly following... his size definitely makes him a legend, even though his record showed otherwise... I wonder how big he is these days.........


Sandman-

5'10"- 180lbs.- Philadelphia, PA
Music-"Enter Sandman" by Metallica
Finisher(s)- Stunner, Weaponshots
Titles- EWA IC(1)

Not that I'm accusing him of copyright infringement, but Sandman seems to have the exact same gimmick of ECW's same-named Sandman, but instead of smashing beer cans over his head, he uses soda cans! Is he straight edge? Or just too young to buy beer?! This Sandman, who we had sneaking suspicions as to being Natas from the old NWF, was actually a cheap ripoff, yet bears stark resemblance to the man... which we also have our suspicions about... so he had finally made his return, so he wanted us to believe, actually being his debut, but never seemed to be able to take that top seat in the EWA that the original Snadman had! He is a pure brawler, and has not many skills from what we have seen... he was in the lower-echelon of competitors in the "New" EWA unfortunately... as said before, he's said to have an uncanny resemblence with Natas... but both men deny any relation to each other! Could they be long lost twins? Nah.... doubt it! Sandman was in the Old Breed with Chainz for a bit, until the New Breed eliminated them! A white dog in the neighborhood named Sally was notorious for jinxing his big matches and making him lose... but he did win the EWA IC Belt near the end of his career, but forced out of the EWA, Sandman is now unemployed again...


Chainz-

6'1"- 205lbs.- Tampa, FL
Music-"For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Metallica
Finisher(s)- Charlie Horse, Chainz Legdrop
Titles- EWA IC(2)

Chainz, like Sandman, says he wrestled waaaay back in the NWF, well maybe not, but Chainz actually did wrestle through EWA1, even winning an IC Title before leaving.... but once again, just like Sandman's, it was a different Chainz, in this case being Drakon... so he debuted with Sandman in the "Renegade" EWA... he wore a chain around his neck, that he sometimes used as a foreign object, and was also a brawler with not many moves... and seemed to beg for mercy when getting pummeled... despite winning the IC Title, he was never what the original Chainz(Drake) was in EWA1... and like the Sandman-Natas similarities, you could imagine that Chainz looked more than a little bit like Drakon... but as far as we know, there was no relation here either... Chainz was also forced out of the EWA and is unemployed with Sandman...


Bonez-

5'8"- 140 lbs.
Music- "Symphony of Destruction" by Megadeth
Finisher(s)- the Bonez Drop
Titles- none

Bonez was one of the EWA1's stars... not one of the Top guys, but was definitely a dedicated wrestler... Bonez was quite a skinny guy, and even though losing more than winning, he showed exceptional skill... recently Bonez made a short return challenging Psycohol for his PXW Title, but WMX came in and ruined that, beating him down... will we ever see Bonez in action again? We'll hafta wait and see...


The Assassin-

6'1"- 160 lbs.
Music- "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana
Finisher(s)- not known
Titles- none

Like Bones, the Assassin was and EWA1 Undercarder... he did wrestle a few shows, and had some decent matches... but he has not been heard of since his departure back in the glory days, except a small incident in an EWA4 Show, but that's another story...


Wal*Mart Joe-

from Bentonville, Ark.
Music- "Happy Together" by the Turtles
Finisher(s)- The Layaway, Scissorlift
Titles- EWA IC(1)

Wal*Mart Joe had been working recently in a Wal*Mart down in Arkansas... he escaped Amityville's store #666 long ago, ridding himself of his cruel ruthless ex-manager, Bob... but Bob had come back to haunt him, and it looked as if there may have been a feud brooding here... Wal*Mart had strategically alligned himself with the bigwigs, Psycohol and Wolfman X, and won the IC Title after winning a huge Gauntlet... he showed tons of potential... but unfortunately due to a severely injuring his thumb in the 50th Show, Joe called it Quits after a very short, yet successful career, and never having been pinned... his quitting along with Psycohol's departure were the two main factors in the collapse of the EWA...


Fenix-

from Tokyo, Japan
"Cyan's Theme" from Final Fantasy
Finisher(s)-Palm Strike, Small Chokeslam
Titles- none

Fenix bears much resemblence to the Street Fighter II character Ryu upon first site... and yes, he is very disciplined in the martial arts too... he has a high tolerance for pain, and is quite tough to get off his vertical base... he has even been known to hop up after receiving finishing moves! This man is an insane martial artist! His striking and kicking is deadly, and with Wolfman X's guidance to teach him how to wrestle, Fenix seemed to be picking up on good some Pro Wrestling moves, but the EWA prematurely ended, and Fenix travels back to Japan in search of who knows what? Two words for Fenix though: Very deadly!


Manager Bob-

from Amityville Walmart store #666
"Violence Fetish" by Disturbed
Finisher(s)- none known...
Titles- none

Manager Bob, manager of Amityville's Walmart had been tracking down Wal*Mart Joe since the day he escaped! And finally he found him here in the EWA, and seemed determined to take him out and bring him back home! But it seems that Mr. Ex already took him out for Bob... did Bob manage to load Joe up and bring him back to Amityville?! We just don't know...


The White Devil-

from the Streets of the USA
Music-"Orgasmitron" by Motorhead
Finisher(s)- "Booze Drop" Legdrop
Titles- none

One of EWA's final installments was a drunken b@$t@rd by the name of White Devil! He seemed always to be intoxicated, in and out of the ring, and is apparently a bum who roams America in a neverending journey to nowhere! Despite his drunken stupor, he had plenty of potential, but with no EWA, he might as well go back on his journey to Nowhere... maybe he'll end up in Disruptor's Fed if it ever happens...

FORMER BACKSTAGE OFFICIALS:


Commissioner Squires-

Music- "Rock is Dead" by Marylin Manson

Commissioner Squires has been known as quiet and humorous behind the camera... in fact he dis much of the camera-work for the EWA4... but on camera, he ain't quiet at all... he get's pissed off quite easily at insubordinance, and can be very vocal! Over the years he'd built up the anger inside him, and he won't sit back and take sh** anymore! In his heyday, he was handing out fines left and right to Superstars like Psycohol and Wolfman X... and it's just because he doesn't like them! And it's also because they sometimes had referred to him as "Mr. Bigglesworth", a name Natas dubbed on him back in EWA2... and it pissed him off! The Commish still remained with the EWA, even after EWA4, with this much more aggressive attitude towards his stars! Recently though, we have not seen Squires very much... in fact, a new guy, Putty Man came in, saying that he had permission from Squires to be the new Commish... it's very doubtful that this is true though, most likely just a scam... and if Squires ever comes back, I'm sure Putty Man will be feeling his wrath!


Shortcakes-

Music- "Revolution" by The Beatles
Titles- EWA US(1)

Shortcakes had been around since the beginning! She was the long-time EWA referee and ring announcer! She hadalways been known to fight back, and dish out Stunners to the guys that get in her way(mostly back in the old days tho)... and even back in EWA2 she held the US Title for a short period, after beating the Ninja for it! She seemed to lose some of her steam in the later Revolutions, being sometimes yards and yards away from a pinfall while making the count, haha... some got mad, but that's Shortcakes for ya, still a classic referee! Everyone remembers all her whining about when the shows were gonna end and how hot or cold it was outside... in July of 2001, she got married to Wolfman X... after EWA4, she temporarily retired with WMX, leaving the reffing to be done by the wrestlers themselves... then she came back for the EWA's Next Generation to ref once again until late 2004, even having a brief stint with Psycohol, where she turned on her husband WMX, but it didn't last too long... unfortunately this may have been a sign of things to come in real life, because in March of '05, she cheated on Wolfman X with some slimy fat kid from work, and now her legacy with the EWA has come to an end, with Wolfman X and most of her former EWA friends leaving her in the dust! Sorry, Shorty, you brought it upon yourself...


Teddy Girl-

Music- ???

Debuting at age 11, Teddy Girl quickly impressed the EWA with defeats over such Veterans as Mr. Splooge and Suicide... of course that's not saying much, as they are quite pathetic.... but those are still some quite impressive victories for a girl of her age... nonetheless, she was not a full-time wrestler, as she would not stand a chance against any of the main stars... so she became a backstage presence mostly and had even filled in as ref for Shortcakes on some occasions... but she may permanently be grounded to stay at home from now on... we haven't seen her much lately...

Other EWA occasional or one-time wrestlers:

-The Buffalo
-Crazy Bastard
-The Gorilla
-Jacob Cross
-Lumberjack
-Mr. Pumpkinhead- EWA Loserweight (1)
-Mr. Skullface- EWA Loserweight (1)
-Napalm
-Redneck Roscoe
-Scottito
-Stick Stickly
-The Unknown
-The Whacko Kid
-187
-The Wolfman- EWA Tag Titles (1)
-Frankenstein- EWA Tag Titles (1)
-Putty Man
-Revan Wilder
-Lil' Psycho
-XXX
-& many girls and children who have humiliated Splooge and Ninja many a time...

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