"Look. I do care. I'm sorry, and, well, um...I'm just sorry! We never can seem to talk anymore."
Meanwhile, Ren swung down from the top of the car and opened the door. "Hey Cassie!" He cried, "Let's get the gang and get out of the truck!"
"Why?" she asked, annoyed.
"You'll see," he said with a big smile on his face. So they got everybody out of the truck and just stood there. By this time, the sun had set and the moon was shining brightly.
"What are we doing just standing here?" grumbled Steve, annoyed.
"Yeah," said Cassie, "Ren, why did you drag us out of the car?"
"I'm glad you asked that," he said, still smiling, "Everybody, sit in a circle."
"What are we gonna do, play Duck Duck Goose?" asked Diana.
"Close," said Ren, "I got this stuff you just got to try!"
"What is it?" asked Francine, seeing him remove a small white object.
"You know," said Ren, "Pot, marijuana?"
"Well, I don't know," said Cassie.
"What are you? Chicken? Bauck, bauck bauck!" He clucked and began flapping his arms up and down.
"Maybe we shouldn't," said Francine.
"Oh, come on," coaxed Ren, "You're already dead, so what's it gonna hurt you?"
Everybody agreed, and so they sparked it and began to pass it around the circle. After they all had about three puffs, they all began to act incredibly stupid. It was one large joint, and it was strong stuff. They turned on the car radio really loud and began moving really stupid to the music.
In a matter of seconds, the girls and their boys were all over each other. Everybody was having a 'high' old time until Luke and Maggie returned. Luke glared, and Maggie said, "What the hell happened when we left?"
"Ganja," said Garth, in mid-spin as he tangoed with Diana. "join da party!"
"All right," said Luke, "who brought the pot? Was it you, Steve?"
"What?!" said Steve, who looked quite pissed because Luke had interrupted Steve and Cassie's makeout session. "It wasn't me. Ask Diana!"
Maggie looked over in Diana's direction, who was still doing a rather fucked-up tango with Garth. Maggie pulled Diana away from Garth for a second and said, "O.K., Diana. Where's your stash?"
Diana just smiled and laughed. "Holy Miss Piggy's fart bubbles! I have bupcas idea what yer talkin' about."
"Where's the pot, Diana?" asked Luke, looking her in the eye.
Diana began to laugh unstoppably. "Don't...Ha, ha! Don't ask me...Hee, hee! Ask...Ha! Ask Francine!"
Diana paired off with Garth once again. Maggie and Luke confronted Francine.
"Maggie!" cried Francine, "you gotta try this shit! Man! Ren's our savior!"
Maggie and Luke looked at each other. "Of course. Where's Ren?" asked Luke.
"In the trunk!"
Maggie and Luke went over and climbed into the trunk, where they found Ren trying to blow smoke rings into his hands. "Hey, Maggie," he said, "are you... back yet?"
"What does it look like? What is going on? Is this all your doing?" Maggie asked suspiciously. Ren gave her a "Huh?..." look.
"Did you get everybody high?" asked Luke.
"Yes. It was so cool! They were - " All of a sudden, there was a loud shriek from outside. Then there were several more.
Maggie and Luke ran back to find everybody had turned green, and had large red bumps pulsating everywhere. There was another scream from behind the truck, where Ren had broken out. "This is scalding me!" Cassie was shrieking.
Maggie and Luke had no idea what to do. "Aw, shit!" said Luke, "something's up with all of them. What do we do?"
Suddenly out of nowhere, a sign just seemed to appear on the side of the road. It read:
"Let's go see him!" said Maggie, "he'll know what to do!"
"All right!" yelled Luke, "everybody in the back of the truck!"
The not-so-high teens, who were pulsating in pain, climbed in the back, while Luke sped up the road. They followed about 20 neon, blinking red arrows until they came to a large house. There was a light in the distance. "This must be the place," said Luke, approaching the large black house, "and look! They still have their Christmas lights up!"
They pulled up into the driveway and everybody climbed out of the truck. They all walked up the front steps and rang the doorbell. It looked like one of those shitty plastic ones you get around Halloween at Woolworths. The door slowly swung open, and there stood the dark hallway. "You can go in first," said Luke, "be my guest."
"Why don't you?" grumbled Maggie, "you're not afraid, are you?"
Luke gave a Charlie Brown nervous grin. "Me? Afraid of this place? No way! I'm just being a gentleman!"
"Then lead the way!" said Cassie.
"Fine, then, I will!" Luke didn't move. Maggie rolled her eyes, pushed herself way up front, and entered the large house slowly. It was pitch black, and everybody held hands.
Once everybody was in, the door suddenly slammed shut behind them, making Shawn jump. Suddenly, out of nowhere, red light after red light lit up the room, exposing a large ballroom-sort of place. Standing on the floor, right before the gang, were Alfonse and Cherry.
"Oh my gawd, you guys!" said Cherry, "Frankie will see you in a second. Oh my gawd!"
Cherry and Ren had dated earlier in the year and had recently broken up. Cherry was a friend of Diana, Cassie and Maggie at their summer camp. "Hey Cherry," said Maggie, "you look well."
"Yup! Frank and me have a thing going." Everybody smiled.
"You work here, Alfonse?" asked Diana, kind of surprised.
"Yup! Got me a job! I'm going places!"
Suddenly, over a loudspeaker, a nasalish voice boomed, "Dr. Frank-N-Furter will see you now!" The group was led down the middle of the floor, to two swinging doors.
They were led through the door, only to see a doctor in drag, with a big puffy black wig, standing there. He had a very seductive, gay voice.
"My name is Dr. Frank-N-Furter, M.D. It seems that you have come to me. Sit back! Relax! Make yourself at home. We've got lots of work to go, you know?"
"Who the hell is this fugly guy?" whispered Luke.
"Yeah! Who does he think he is?" said Steve.
"Let me handle this," whispered Maggie, "um...Frank, it seems that we have got a mix-up here. We're all vampires, and, oh man, we need you to help us, dear."
"I like you all, and you're all cool and mean. And your spots are red, and your skin is green. My guess, dears, you're in pain a lot, cause you've all been messing around with pot."
"You've got it, man! My name is Ren! It's kind of my fault our skin's green and red! And so if you please, without delay, help us out this very day!"
Frank-N-Furter just smiled and turned to look at Luke. "The one with the red hat looks kinda rude. I think that he's my kind of dude. So come on over. Move your rear."
"That's it," yelled Luke, "I'm outta here!" Maggie grabbed hold of his shirt as he turned to run.
"You'll stay right here," she whispered, "Hey, Frank! You've seen our dilemma. What are we gonna do? These kids messed around, and as you have found, we need some answer from you."
"Hey," said Diana, "we're not kids!"
"Yeah!" agreed Shawn and Cassie.
"How dare you," said Steve, "we were only having a little bit of fun."
Frank smiled as Cherry leaned over him. Alfonse just stood in a corner. "You realize, of course, that being a more than qualified doctor (I studied 10 years at Cornell you know), I'm also just a sweet transvestite from Transexual Transylvania!" He laughed hideously.
"That's it," said Luke, "I'm going out to the car and staying there." But as he tried to exit, the group of teens formed a barrier, blocking his only exit. "Come on! Please, guys," he begged, "I don't want to be cooped up here with that...that...freak!"
The doctor looked offended. "So, little man. You think I'm a freak? By the time I'm through with you, all you'll do is squeak. I wouldn't push my luck. Don't mess around with the Doc. 'Cause if you do, I'll mess with you, and bust your little - "
"I'm sorry," interrupted Cassie, "but we're kind of in pain."
"Yes," smiled Frank, "of course you are. I think it would be best if you all stayed for the night. After all, where else would you sleep? Your car? Ha! You silly little guys. You don't know much at all. You've come to the right place. I've heard a lot about you! Now I've met you face to face. Now, really, honestly, God! This conversation's drab. So let's all shut up a while and pay a visit to my LAB."
The teenagers followed Frankie and his two helpers through a long hallway covered in blue, black, red, and golden tiles. Luke seemed to be the most afraid. You would have been, too, if a tranvestite "doctor" was hitting on you.
Meanwhile, Steve had a strange smile on his face. "Hey Cassie... Doesn't this place seem kind of the mansion in Ro - "
He was cut off when Cassie grabbed his wrist. "I know what you're talking about, but you better not say anything to offend this weirdo," she whispered. "I mean, Transylvania? What a freak!"
"We can just kill him," whispered Garth, falling into step with Steve and Cassie. "And I know exactly how. Come on!" They got into a huddle and began whispering as they walked down the hallway.
Meanwhile, the light in the hallway was getting stranger and stranger. The color was getting greener and the tiles were giving off a strange glow. All of a sudden, Frank stopped abruptly and turned to a large door with a gate over it, to his left.
"We have reached the climax of our journey!" cried Frank, "Now. I insist that you see my latest - "
As he started to open the gate, Steve rushed forward and pushed Frank over on his face. Garth grabbed Frank's legs as Cassie grabbed his arms and sunk her fangs into Frank's neck. Frank emitted a woman-like scream and immediately went limp. Maggie looked horrified.
"Why the hell did you do that?" she cried.
Luke looked completely relieved. "Because they're sensible and they figured out how to get rid of...that before we did," he shot back. "Now let's get out of here before we discover any other thing that lives here."
Suddenly an unearthly shriek came from a staircase hidden in the shadows behind the kids (whose red spots had faded and their skin was returning to their normal color). A silhouette that looked something like a female Krusty the Clown was heading down the stairs. The nine kids (Cherry and Alfonse had somehow slipped away) all exchanged looks of complete terror and fled for their lives. Even after they had gotten out of the house, they kept running. They got to the truck and jumped in, and Luke jumped into the driver's seat. As they drove away, Francine, in the trunk, stared out the window.
"Guys? ...Where is the house?" She whimpered.
"What are you talking about?" Diana asked.
"The house... It's not there! What happened? Luke, stop the car!!" Francine cried.
"No way," Luke snarled, "I'm getting as far away from there as possible. I wouldn't care if that place just took off like a U.F.O."
"Well...where are we going?" Maggie asked.
"You'll see," Luke answered. Maggie was in the passenger's seat and Cassie and Steve were in the back seat. Diana, Garth, Ren, Francine, and Shawn were in the trunk. The sun was just starting to rise and the light was purplish and beautiful.
Most of the kids started to nod off. Luke kept his eyes open and on the road, and Diana and Garth stayed awake, snuggling. "That was so freaky!" Diana whispered.
"That was the weirdest experience I have ever had. And I've had some pretty weird experiences..." Garth mumbled.
"I don't want to know," Diana laughed softly. They drove along in silence for nearly an hour when Luke pulled into a vaguely familiar driveway. The kids began to wake up.
"Where are we?" asked Steve groggily, still half asleep.
"Luke? Are we where I think we are?" Diana asked.
"We're at Ipsvak!" he cried.
"What?" Steve looked confused. "Cassie, isn't that your camp that you told me about?"
"Yes," said Cassie, "This is so cool! But Luke, weren't the gates locked? How did you get past the front entrance?"
"I used my fire," Luke said nonchalantly.
"Well, let's go on in," said Maggie.
The truck drove up the dark driveway, which looked haunted at this time. The lights were all out, except for the headlights of the truck, and Luke drove carefully down the road. All of a sudden, Cassie noticed something or somebody moving around quietly outside. From the bushes came a pair of green eyes that glowed with the same power and wildness as a cat's, or possibly more like a flame.
"Quick," yelled Cassie, "Look! There's someone or something out there!"
"Wouldn't surprise me for a second," said Diana, "Why? There's nothing out there." Cassie glanced out her window to find the demonic eyes were gone, and that the woods were calm.
"What were you talking about, Cassie?" asked Maggie.
"Yeah," said Garth, "There's nothing out there."
Cassie looked perplexed. "But...but it was out there! Really! I'm serious!"
"I believe you," Luke said. "Hell, we're vampires! Why shouldn't I believe that there's something out there?"
Steve smiled at Cassie reassuringly. "It's okay, Cass." Finally, the truck drove into the large parking lot, which was now barren. Cassie had become doubtful about entering the camp, but she was outnumbered seven to one, so she went along with it. The truck stopped, and the eight vampires got out.
The sky was as dark as night gets, and a chill ran through the air. They stood in the dark doing absolutely nothing, until Diana spoke up. "Being here's great and all, but what are we going to do now?"
"Hey," Ren said, "Exactly where are we anyway?"
Luke scowled. "Where are we? WHERE ARE WE?!? You retard! I told everybody already! We are at Ipsvak! Got that? Ipsvak!"
All of a sudden Ren's face lit up. He was in heaven. He got all spacey and began to talk to himself.
"Ipsvak? I must be dreaming, I must, I must. Somebody pinch me!"
"Gladly," snarled Luke, who was immediately held back by everyone else.
Ren continued. "Out here in the woods...The magical, mystical woods! Chock full of the only thing I love in life. BUUUUUUGS!!!" Ren shot off into the darkness. "Be back in the afternoon! But now? It's snack time!!!"
"I don't think I've ever seen somebody so happy," said Francine.
"He'll probably eat a tick nest and die," said Diana sarcastically. Luke laughed at this, but only for a second.
The teenagers, now Ren-less, stood there in silence. "Does anybody have any pot?" asked Shawn.
Everybody glared at him. Silence once again.
The air was nippy and had a bit of a sting to it. Even vampires get bothered by the cold. They were also all exhausted. Everybody was yawning. "I'm tired," said Cassie in a quiet voice.
"Me too," said Shawn, "But I don't want to sleep in the truck."
"I'm exhausted," said Francine.
"I know," said Diana, "Let's all go up to the administration building and go to sleep in the beds in the nurse's office."
They all agreed that this was the best place to go, and so they all walked up toward the building. By now, the sun had begun to come up. The sky was an odd rose color, and gave the camp a strange feeling. Little did our teenage vampires know that they were far from alone, and that though they were vampires, they should have left the moment that Cassie saw the glowing eyes in the woods.
The gang made it up to the building where they walked around back. They easily opened the heavy sliding door, for as you know, vampires are stronger than average humans. The door popped open and they entered.
The beds were all laid out for next summer, and everybody found a bed. "Damn," said Garth, "this paper's a pain in the ass."
Everybody tore off the damn annoying wax paper that rustled everytime one tried to move and climbed into bed. Within five minutes, everyone was asleep except Diana & Cassie. "Hey, Diana?" said Cassie.
"Yeah?"
"Did you believe me when I said I saw those eyes?"
"Yeah, of course! Look, I never would have believed that we could both turn into vampires and then go on a road trip. If that's possible, then anything is." Diana began to doze off.
Little did they know that a dark figure was lurking in the administration building. it was as big as a bear, and as ugly as a bear's butt. It crept in slowly. "AAAH!" There was a screech.
"Go to sleep," yawned Luke, "damn it! Can't you see other people are trying to sleep? If you're gonna do weird love shit, do it in another room."
Luke buried his head down in his pillow and closed his eyes. Now, everybody in the infirmary was asleep.
Our vampire friends slept on until the next evening. It was 4:45 pm, and Maggie was the first to wake up.
"Oh crap," she muttered, "What time is it?"
This caused Diana to wake up. "What?... Maggie? What?"
"What time is it?" asked Maggie.
"I don't know," Diana said. Francine and Garth both woke up. Garth's hair was all over the place, and Francine looked even more dead than she already was.
"What happened?" groaned Garth, "Am I, like, in Kansas anymore?"
"No you're not," said Francine. She looked over to where Shawn had been sleeping and found that he wasn't there.
"Holy crap," said Francine, surprised, "Where's Shawn?"
By now, Luke began to stir. "Ugh...um...He probably joined up with the queer and he's out going for a walk."
"Hey, Luke," Maggie asked, "What time is it?"
"It is now 4:47 pm," yawned Luke, "my, how time flies when life sucks. Hey Diana, where are you going?" Diana had gotten up and begun to walk out the front of the building.
"I'm just going off exploring. I wonder if the kitchen has any food left in it?" At this announcement, Cassie woke up.
"Food?" she said loudly, "I'm so hungry I could eat a hospital."
"Diana just went off exploring," said Francine, "and Shawn's missing. I think he's out looking for Ren."
Cassie gave an odd look. "I have a bad feeling," she said nervously, "why would any of us want to look for Ren?"
Everybody started to look worried. "You're right!" said Luke, "I certainly wouldn't."
"Neither would I," said Francine.
"I wouldn't," Maggie grumbled.
"Hey," said Garth, "Let's go catch up with Diana. Maybe she found something." Slowly everybody rose and went to the front of the building.
"Diana!" yelled Garth.
"Back here," there came Diana's voice from the office, far on the other side of the building. The group rushed over there, all except Steve who lay fast asleep back in the nurse's office.
"Is there any food?" asked Cassie.
"I don't know. I didn't check." Maggie walked over and opened the fridge.
Inside was a box of baking soda, barely a cup full of flat, generic, orange soda, and to their amazement, a note. Maggie picked it up. "What does it say?" asked Francine.
"Let me see," said Luke.
Maggie made a gesture like she wanted them all to be quiet. She looked worried. "It says Next?!?, and it's signed, but I can't make out the signature."
Cassie grabbed it. "What does it mean by Next?!?"
All of a sudden there was a small cry much like the one heard the night before when Shawn disappeared. The gang ran back to the infirmary only to find that Steve was gone too. Cassie looked frightened. "Steve? Where's Steve?"
Everybody began to look a bit worried again. "I know," said Maggie, "let's break up into groups and go look for them."
"Yeah," said Luke, "let's meet back at the car at sunset."
Everyone agreed that this was a good idea. They broke up into groups of three. Garth, Diana and Cassie were one, and Luke, Maggie and Francine were the other. They quickly left the administration building, and began their search, going separate ways so as not to cover as much of the same ground.
Cassie, Diana and Garth walked up to the theater department. "Hey, I've got it!" cried Diana. "Let's break into the costume room!"
Garth's eyes lit up. "Yeah!" So they smashed the lock holding the door shut and began to raid the costume room. "HATS!!!" shrieked Garth. Crashing into 3 clothes racks, he rushed over to the shelves with the hats stacked on them. Meanwhile, Diana was searching through the costume racks. Cassie was standing by the door.
"Don't you think we should try and find Steve and Shawn and Ren?" she whined.
"Wait a minute!" Diana and Garth hollered simultaneously. "Hey, what's that?" asked Garth. He rushed over to a costume rack that was kind of stuffed in the corner.
"Uh oh..." mumbled Diana, "Are those the clothes from the camp's production of A Sword in the Stone?"
Garth pulled out the wizard's outfit. "Hey, what's this?" He cried, "it's so cool!" He pulled the cape-like costume over his head and put the hat on. Diana and Cassie started laughing hysterically. "What?" he cried, "What?! Do I look like an idiot? Where's a mirror, I need a mirror now."
"There's one behind the door," laughed Cassie.
Garth ran over to the mirror and groaned. "You tricked me! Vampires don't have reflections! Can we take this with us? Please?"
"Of course," said Diana, "we're vampires. We can do anything we want!" Cassie pulled on a plastic crown and a pair of elf shoes from the play (the kind that point and curl up at the toe). Diana took a green Robin Hood cap, vest and an old plastic sword. Garth grabbed a wand that looked kind of like a messed-up version of those gold or silver things that 6-year-olds get. Then they proudly left the theater department.
