"You Know You're A Fan If..."

PART II

... after watching West Side Story on cable tv, you play "Jungleland"
... the solo CD's from Nils, Steve, Clarence, Patti, Max, and all the Asbury Jukes recordings are on the 'Bruce' shelf
... the one Bruce song that you totally dislike somehow sounds fantastic when you hear it live.
... you try to convert your in-laws
... you've succeeded in converting your in-laws
... you know the alternate title and lyrics to "Thunder Road"
... you tape the Conan O'Brien Show every night just in case.
... you check out every Dodge Durango, Ford Explorer or limo when you're driving on the Garden State Parkway
... you buy recordings from artists that Bruce listens to.
... you add entries to "You Know You're A Bruce Fan If"
... your parents just don't understand.
... your mother gave birth to you on September 23rd
... you have a scrapbook of old E Street ticket stubs
... your friends/family/colleagues have asked you hundred times "why do you see so many shows? One is the same as the other, no?"
... when driving your friends around you quip, "The door's open but the ride ain't free."
... you've asked what REAL Bruce fan wants to hear "Rosie" in concert, but secretly enjoyed it more than any other song.
... you cancelled your summer vacation to go see the "sights" of Boston, Philadelphia, Chicago, Washington DC and Detroit, strangely enough you don't see The Liberty Bell, The Sears Tower, anything related to Paul Revere or the White House.
... you compliment a girl by saying "I don't understand it, you're not pretty at all"
... every time you hear a siren, you think of "Incident on 57th Street"
... you say you are going to go to Smiley's Delicatessen or Tony Roma's just to say it
... your planned meeting spot is 'neath that giant Exxon sign
... you've been analyzed, downsized, fractionalized or even retropsychadelacized
... every evening at 8:15 you turn the lights down in your house and put the CD player on random to see what Bruce will open with tonight.
... you go to Mahwah just cause it's in Johnny 99.
... you turn down life everlasting for life right now.

... you know you took a wrong turn but just keep going.
... you have no interest in "The Blair Witch Project" but you would wait on line to see "The Search for The Ghost of Tom Joad."
... you're first guitar is a wood grain Telecaster.
... your second guitar is a black Takamine G-series.
... instead of saying grace each member of your family recites a verse of "If I Should Fall Behind"
... you show up to church 4 hours early and with a BBQ and lawn chairs.
... you dress in black one night, find your dog and tell him for tonight only he's been upgraded to sleeping at the foot of your bed.
... you drive past the Meadowlands looking to see if the banner is still up.
... every time you take a drink at the office water cooler, you spray water in the air.
... you sing "This train carries whores and gamblers" on the train to work and nearly get in several fights.
... whenever a slow song comes on the radio at work, you look around to see if anybody is getting up to go to the bathroom.
... you drive past the Spectrum to see if anybody is anybody is there yet.
... you watch a special on the Discovery channel because it mentions the Mesabi Iron Range.
... you *want* to think back on Rosalita, but you only find yourself thinking about NYC Serenade.
... every time your spouse enters the room, you precede it by singing: "Well they made that change uptown and the big man joined the band."
... you refuse to introduce anyone in public without musical accompaniment.
... you're supposed to be in work by 7:30, but wait because you know your boss won't be arriving until about 8:15.
... you were happier to see Soozie Tyrell than Bon Jovi on 8/12/99.
... you know the twin red heads behind the stage blowing kisses to The Boss
... you're listening to Bruce right now.
... you play at least one Bruce song at your wedding or reception.
... Bruce LEADS the wedding reception party song list.
... you refuse to go to bbq's unless they are in a parking lot and followed by a Bruce concert.
... your reflex action was to buy 20 T-shirts at the mall just because they were less than.
... you really think Clarence looks cool doing that train whistle move.("Woo!Woo!")

... you refer to your room in your house with all the Brucelegs and stereo gear as "The Promised Land".
... whenever you buy an electronic appliance (TV, VCR, stereo gear, etc.) you "properly christen it" by playing Springsteen on it BEFORE another artist is allowed.
... you get a new iron and "properly christen it" by ironing a Springsteen t-shirt.
... whenever your friends hear Bruce on the radio, they think of you.
... your E-Mail address starts with brn2run@ or anything else related.
... you play guitar and you know more Bruce songs then you know other artists' songs.
... you live outside of New Jersey and want to wave to everyone you see driving a car with Jersey plates
... you shake your head every time you hear "Dancing in the Dark" on the radio, because they could be using that time to play "Wreck on the Highway" instead
... you are single because you haven't been able to find a redhead named Wendy or Mary or Rosie or Sandy or Frankie(!)
... you were laughing at the people in the parking lot after the shows that were mad he didn't play "Born In The USA"
... you hear the words Men in Black and the first two guys you think of aren't Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith.
... you wish every night could be August 11, 1999.
... the Men in Black recognize you at every tour stop.
... you know all the words to "Gypsy Woman" or "The Hitter"
... every time you are late for anything you proclaim, "I know it's late, but we can make it if we run!"
... you've ever taken a ride down Kingsley Avenue looking for a bar.
... you won't leave the car at the service station without removing your Brucelegs first.
... your kids argue over who gets to imitate Miami Steve on the next cut.
... whenever you hear barking in the neighborhood, you exclaim "The dogs on Main Street howl 'cause they understand..."
... you take a picture of the sign on the highway that says "Freehold - Next Exit".
... you know that it is NOT a wood-grain Telecaster, but a wood-grain 1953 Esquire
... you know where lot 23C is, but you can't find your car when you leave the local mall
... you ever lost a nail from hitting re-dial on your phone for Ticketmaster
... you get so tired waiting for the tour to get to Seattle you fly to NJ.
... you win four front-row tickets in a KAC fund auction.

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