"You Know You're A Fan If..."

I think I came up with a mere dozen or so of these. All the others have been posted to Bruce internet message boards by other fans. Most of them are very funny (and dare I say it, even true) and I thought it'd be nice to have all of them together. There's over 300 (and it's easy to think of more), so I've split it up into different pages. Enjoy!

... "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" is a perfectly acceptable encore . . . in July!
... you have tape cassette boxes that only list a city and a date, but no artist
... you'd rather have the Electric Nebraska sessions than the Holy Grail
... you've made a pilgrimage to Asbury Park and/or Freehold
... your First Aid kit includes a copy of "Born to Run"
... you've ever put tin cans out in the 90 degree heat just to see them explode (bonus points if you did it on Bleeker Street)
... you cringe at just the mention of Manfred Man.
... you stand and cheer for "Thunder Road", even though you've heard it 10,000 times
... you can easily understand the following: BTR, RHW, TR, BITUSA, TOL...
... you believe Courtney Cox should sign over half her life's earnings to Bruce
... you're on a first name basis with him but never met
... you need a plumber for your tuba
... you long to see a show that includes a Monopoly Game and someone rebuilding an engine
... you long to see a Jon Landau vs. Mike Appell Celebrity Death Match
... you own stock in Maxell XLII tapes
... you think of "Jazz Musician" when you hear "10th Ave. Freeze-Out"
... you opt for a home-based business so that you can spend more time enhancing your collection
... the new issue of Backstreets has more relevance to you than the daily paper
... you know that "my old bosses' daughter" means Moe and Joe's daughter
... you've ever torn your shirt on the Tilt-A-Whirl
... Bruce's version of "Oh, Boy!" is what got you into Buddy Holly
... you've seen any of the following artists at the Jersey Shore: Southside Johnny, Bobby Bandiera, Joe Grushecky,Richie La Bamba - because you knew Bruce was back in Rumson for the night
... you can have an intelligent conversation about the Hammond Demos vs. the London Publishing Demos
... you believe the defining moment of the 90's was the unearthing of "The Promise" in the Asbury Park Rehearsal Show
... you think accordians and rock and roll go together

... you think Mom's Wholesome Audio should supply the sound for all Bruce shows
... you walk the way you want to walk
... you talk the way you want to talk
... you were able to sing along to "Freehold" on July 15th 1999
... you scream out "Phantom! Phantom!" when Danny Federici takes the stage
... you got pissed at Bobby Bandiera for cutting the 1st verse of "Hungry Heart" on the 29th because as a result the show was 40 seconds shorter
... you swear you've seen the Devil through the steam in the streets
... you regularly ponder on the lyrics to "Blinded by the light"
... you are secretly flattered when people say "Get a life. You know TOO MUCH about Bruce."
... it's not weird that you went to 14 shows of Bruce's stand in your hometown. It's just unlucky. After all, there were 15 shows.
... you feel it is a compliment to call someone a tramp.
... you consider cleats on your boots fashionable.
... the dates 12/15/78, 2/5/75 and 8/20/81 hold special places in your heart.
... you urge your child to be an author or a lawyer but would settle for Rock' N' Roll
... you are more intrigued by the dark side of Route 88 than the dark side of the moon
... you refer to each of your guitars as "That God Damn Guitar"
... you are torn between king, emperor and Pizza Hut owner as your future job (Growin' Up 11/4/76)
... you despise traffic but don't mind it so much when you're down on 53rd street
... you want to be a judge solely to sentence someone to 98 and a year
... you prefer BruceLegs to food
... you were utterly dissapointed when you realized that "Tracks" would be released in a set that had less than 20 CD's
... Institute and South means more to you than Hollywood and Vine, 42nd and Broadway but it still falls short of 10th and E Street
... your Winterland 78' tape gets stuck in your car's tape deck for 2 weeks and it doesn't bother you one bit

... you keep your Bruce collection above and separate from the rest
... you go to a concert and you have to tell fellow concert-goers what song is being played
... you refer to having concealed weapons as "carrying a friend"
... by the end of the Jersey stand you will be able to deliver Bruce's sermon on your own.
... your complaints about the circus include: "The elephants aren't dancing FUNKY enough." and "Why won't anyone save the clowns?"
... you inadvertantly scream out "95, 96, 97!!" at the sight of a Circus Big Top.
... you live more than an hour away, but can give perfect directions to Madame Marie's.
... you compliment a girl by telling her "you ain't a beauty but, hey, you're alright."
... you don't understand why the E Street Shuffle is not popular at dance clubs.
... you play "Sandy" whenever anyone asks you "What's Asbury Park really like?"
... you considered joining a gang because they were the "Skulls"
... you considered joining a gang because they were the "Pythons"
... you've ever tried to pick up a girl with the line "We've got it , we want to rock all night."
... you would invent a time machine, not to win the lottery, dominate the stock market, or rule the world, but to be at the Bottom Line Shows
... you broke your leg and insisted on having a crooked crutch
... you won't ask advice of people who use canes.
... you think the constitution should be amended to allow a monarchy in Arkansas.
... your bicycles have baseball cards in their spokes.
... you can recite last night's soundcheck.
... you watch "The Sopranos" for one reason -- Miami.
... you call your friend Eddie each time you need to borrow money.
... you passed around or signed a petition trying to get "Born to Run" named New Jersey's state song, before it was acceptable for politicians to like rock 'n' roll.
... going to a show alone in a better seat is more important than going with a friend
... your friends are ticked at you because you gave that extra ticket to a true Bruce fan you never met rather than taking them
... you're told you are being excessive/obsessive where Bruce is concerned

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