"You Know You're A Fan If..."

PART V

... you tell your girlfriend you have to get married on 9/23 (just so you'll never forget your anniversary)
... you begin to feel the rush of a Saturday ticket sale days before!
... you put on Land of Hope and Dreams at 9:59 am for a 10 am ticket sale!
... you feel like you are going to see a long-lost friend when you see him in concert - Bruce can just overwhelm you!
... even when the most terrible event happens to you, listening to "Thunder Road" will still bring a smile to your face.
... you desperately want to be a Jersey Girl.
... you pray the Men in Black will find you.
... you bought "Tracks", you bought the book "Songs" with the "Tracks 4-songs" sampler in it, you bought 18 Tracks, and you don't care if you now have "Lion's Den" 3 times on CD.
... all of your friends want to string you up by your toe nails, because they're so damn tired of hearing you relate EVERYTHING to Bruce.
... you want to find the panel of people who awarded the 1999/2000 Grammy's and ask them what the hell they were thinking!!
... you've read "Woody Guthrie: a life"
... you have folders in your email called "tix trades", "tape trades" and "Bruce fans"
... you associate the Scopes trial with a pop song
... you have ever semi-seriously considered changing your own name to Bruce
... you understood the significance of The Grapes of Wrath and John Ford before Ghost of Tom Joad was released,
... you feel a burning need to just post "BRUUUUUUUUUUUUCE YEAH BRUUUUUUUUUUUCE!" on a message board
... you tell people that the 1978 "Darkness" tour was the best rock&roll you've ever experienced in your life even if you've only heard it on bootlegs.
... you bought the "We Are The World" cd just to hear "Trapped"
... you have people over for "Brucefest" every Friday
... you HATE Holidays 'cuz it means no mail (boots) delivery
... you hear the word "Boots" - you immediately think about what you're expecting in the mail.....
... you make your 8 year old stand for all 2.5 - 4 hours of the show
... when you hear his songs you still get as revived and pumped as you did the first time you heard them.
... you learned English from reading his album lyrics in your homeland
... you have recorded all live versions of "Thunder Road" so you can see the progression of the song

... you have AOL buddy list # 1 for Springsteen friends and #2 for family/work
... your 12 and 18 year old children each have special CD racks dedicated to Bruce alone, and know every word to every track
... you can't start your day without a little "Bruce-Juice"
... you have a photo of yourself playing your guitar on the boardwalk in Asbury Park.
... you go to MSG for a sports event, and you hate sports, just to check out seats for the shows on the next tour.
... your mom has finally started singing along to Bruce songs because that's all you listen to in the car.
... you've mixed Tangueray & wine for no other reason than Johnny 99.
... you spend an hour in a very bad part of town trying to steal the E-street sign that has been cemented to the top cause so many of us have already teethed it.
... you have an autographed picture of Bruce.
... your sibling bumps into a member of the E-Sreet Band, and gets you an autograph.
... when someone asks you what is the best concert you've been to, you reply: a) Which tour? or B) Besides Bruce?
... you'll stay up to 2am to see Bruce on Conan O'Brien live, and also to dub it into your "Bruce saver" VHS tape at the same time.
... you still have your first ticket stub.
... you know the songs he's written and given away to other performers, and mention this to your spouse every time you hear one.
... your pre-school-age kid knows lyrics and recognizes intros.
... you exhalt like its a personal victory when your local paper votes his concert as THE concert of the year in your city.
... you end relationships by saying, "I gotta go. We had it once we ain't got it any mo."
... you actually consider buying a pink Cadillac.
... you pretend to be ill at work so you can leave early and got to the third show that week.
... you go out with a girl strictly cause her name is Janey.
... you can work Bruce into just about any conversation.
... you drop lyrics liberally into conversation, but without attribution, just to see who "gets it" and who doesn't. Which then becomes a factor for how much you like that person.
... you have the MEDO black and white sneaks air freshener in your car
... you see a football stadium and you're wondering where the GL tailgate parties are

... you see a football stadium and you start queue-ing: Force of habit
... you do the knee-slide in a grocery section in a supermarket at the right moment when "Waitin' On A Sunny Day" is on the radio.
... you see tie-wraps and you start singing the ties that bi-i-i-ind
... you find yourself singing "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" in the middle of July
... you think the Backstreet Boys should be the name for a bunch of characters from a Springsteen song - not a boyband
... when asked directions your default answer is: "Take a right at the light, keep going straight until night..."
... you open your front door to go to work in the morning and yell out "IS THERE ANYBODY ALIVE OUT THERE??!!"
... you walk into work and yell out "IS THERE ANYBODY ALIVE OUT THERE??!!"
... you give your credit card number out to complete strangers to buy a shirt
... you wave to people with Jersey plates
... you carry a large, smelly, beer-stained and other-stains-I-don't-want-to-know-about, triple queen sized bed sheet with you (GL banner...)
... you rummage through the discount racks, to make sure that Bruce is NOT in there!
... you make sure there are no cds by other artists in the Springsteen section at a record store
... at a record store, you spread the Bruce cd's around to cover up as many other artists as possible so it looks like an entire Springsteen section
... you get beat up in the train for singing "this train takes whores and gamblers" at the top of your lungs
... someone asks you what time it is, and you reply "It's BOSS-time!"
... you spend hours trying to find the right combo of letters for your new vanity license plates
... you meet someone from Jersey and are absolutely shocked that they DON'T feel this incredible bond to the man himself
... many of your bookmarks go to artwork, articles, pictures, set lists. etc. You have only cover art in "My Documents".
... you receive & mail several packages a week. Wonder what the postal workers think of this?
... your friends run when they see you, because they know your only topic of conversation is the show coming up.....
... you have a radio show on a college station and you only play Bruce for two hours weekly, and you really don't feel that it's enough....
... you consider quitting your job, dropping out of school and selling your car to be able to attend more shows.
... "entering _____ county" sign is encountered on the road, you naturally break into song. "Driving in to _______ county..."
... you are known at work or elsewhere as "the Bruce guy". (or the Bruce girl)

... you have relatives in your family with the name Bruce and whenever anyone talks about them you don't think of them first but the one and only Bruce!
... you rather go to a Bruce concert and sit with a total stranger that is a big Bruce fan rather then your husband/wife or best friend that just tolerate him!
... you can instantly recall any section in any arena where you've seen a show, but you can't find your car in the parking lot.
... you walk out to the parking lot to see the sun reflecting off your car's windshield and you starting singing "there she sits buddy just gleaming in the sun" to yourself.
... you know more about some towns on the Jersey shore than the villages in a ten mile distance of your own home
... you hear LOHAD and no matter where you are, you put your hands in the air when Bruce tells you to
... you pump your fist while driving in the car and hit the roof with your hand. Ouch!
... you develop the perfect bemused look when someone says, "But didn't you already see him?"
... you smile like the Mona Lisa when someone says, "You're going to HOW MANY shows?"
... driving over a bridge into New Jersey on a bright sunny day, CD player blasting Bruce, windows open, and you spontaneously let out a "WOOHOO!"
... you can't park outside a Seven-Eleven Store without feeling somewhat excited

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