* Light a special candle during family gatherings.  Light a candle on special days & let it burn.  Blowing it out symbolizes letting go.

* Attend a Luminary or Candle-Lighting Ceremony service in honor of them.  In Charlotte NC, ours is on December 13th.

* Find special things to put at the cemetery; this shows the world they're still loved.  Place small Thanksgiving decorations there.

* Sing Christmas carols at the cemetery.

* Buy or make an ornament in your child's memory.  Have other family members make ornaments, even if just out of paper.

* Purchase a poinsettia to decorate your church in your child's memory.

* Give a gift to a needy child, for example, through Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes given to needy children throughout the world.

* Hang a Christmas stocking with their name on it.

* Make a quilt with your child's name on it; or donate one to a charity.

* Make a garden, plant a flower or plant a tree in your child's honor.  Add a stepping-stone with their name on it.

* Donate a special book to the public library or school library in their memory.

* Wear the child's picture as a brooch or necklace.

* Carry their picture on or in your purse.

* Support a charity that your child like or supported.

* Donate a pint of blood in their memory during the holidays; this is when it is needed most.
 
 

 

~CANDLES~

There are candles flickering in the night,
For most, they are hidden from sight,
They are lit by the fires of grieving love,
For loved ones born to Heaven above,
The stars you see in the bright night sky,
Sparkle from a candles tear-filled eye,
As it sends an essence from ones heart,
To a love that was so suddenly torn apart,
So when you see a candle softly burning,
Know there are hearts that are yearning,
For the time when parted souls unite,
And no more candles need light the night.
 

 

~What Is Fall Without You~

It is trees full of color & leaves on the ground
It is morning air, criap & cool with frost all around
It is so beautiful, but it doesn't mean anything
Without you
It is beautiful skies of blue & talk of winter, too
But it is still not the same because I can't 
Share it with you
It doesn't seem to matter what the season we're in...
All I can do is wonder how I can enjoy the Fall
Without....
You....
Again.....

Jon Yeager ~ Pioneer OH
The Compassionate Friends ~ Redlands CA
 

 

~SECOND CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN~
Rahshann D Stone ~ 7/18/78 - 2/7/98
Unsolved Homicide

How can grass still grow and birds still sing
and music play and telephones ring?
And you not here to see the rain;
or share the joy or either pain.
It's all too real yet also true, we'll never get over losing you.
Days turn to weeks and weeks to years; we're wrapped
up in the same old fears.

But glimpsing Christmas months away,
our Saviour born on Christmas Day!
Shall we let the grinch steal Christmas?
My dear what shall we do,
We had no control over what happened to you.

But we can still celebrate and have a special joy,
That nineteen years ago we borne a special little boy.
So though we love and miss you, Christmas is not about you,
It's about the Savior Christ and what He came to do.

He suffered on a cross both for you and for me.
His pain and crucifixion meant for all men to be free.
So I  know the doors of Heaven will always be opened wide,
As we brave the storm before us
with the Lord right by our side.

So as we plan for Christmas there will be a candle lit for you.
And a heart that's full of Jesus' love,
and  a place there for you too.
This Christmas I will celebrate  knowing you one day I'll see.
Thanking Jesus for the hope He gave, to Him the glory be.

By: Thelma Stone

Page 15 ~ Bereaved Parents Share, November/December 1999
 

 

Thrusday, November 27 ~ Thanksgiving Day (US)
Read 2 Corinthians 2:14-3:3 ~ Psalm 144

~THE AROMA OF CHRIST~

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. 2 Corinthians 2:14

The most precious Thanksgiving memories I have are those of childhood.  My grandparents lived on a farm, and every year the aunts, uncles, and cousins would congregate at their large home.  Colorful arrays of salads, vegetables, and other goodies were placed on two tables.  The smells of turkey, dressing and pies came flooding through the kitchen with an incredible aroma.  In anticipation, the smells reminded us of what was yet to come.

In our lives we are to shed an aroma that brings light and joy to the believer or a reminder of a deep void to the unbeliever.  Becasue of Christ's forgiveness won for us on His cross, God uses us to spread "every where the fragance of the knowledge of Him."

Connected to Him through His Word and daily communication with Him in prayer, we rejoice today in the gift of eternal life that is ours.  For those spiritual blessings and all earthly benefits showered on us, we give thanks and praise.

Dear Father, thank You for the blessings bestowed on us through the fragrant offering of your Son, Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray.  Enable us to spread that fragrance to others by our demeanor, our spoken words, and our deeds of service and kindness done in His name. Amen 
 

 

Thrusday, December 25 ~ Christmas Day (US)
Read Luke 2:1-7 ~ Isaiah 9:6-7

~CAESAR DEVREES, BUT GOD SAVES~

But when the time has fully come, God sent His Son, born of a woman. Galatians 4:4

"Augustus" ("Exalted") they called him.  Oh, he is a powerful ruler.  He crooks his finger, and nations tremble.

Hail, Caesar!  All hail!  Call a census!  Count your people!  Collect your taxes!  Is there anyone like you, mighty Caesar?

Meanwhile (and we envision this with great reverence) the Lord of the universe sits high and lofty on His throne.  At the sound of heralding seraphs singing "holy, holy, holy," the thresholds are shaken and the temple is filled with smoke (Isaiah 6:3-4)

The King of the universe looks down and watches with tender eye as Mary and Joseph make their way to Bethlehem, where the Son will be born.  And there He is born, Son of God and Son of Man.  The seraphs stand mute in amazement and awe.

Caesar decrees a census so that Mary and Joseph will go to the place where the Child is to be born (Micah 5:2).  In Jesus' birth, God's promise that through David's greater Son He would establish an eternal Kingdom of grace and glory is fulfilled (2 Samuel 7:16)!  Caesar may decree.  But only God can save!  And so He has.  Sing again, mighty angels.  Sing your song: "On earth peace" (Luke 2:14).  Peace in the hearts of believers.

Lord God, all history is Yours, all power is Yours, and we are Yours forever.  Hail, Christ Child, all hail! Amen. 
 
 

 

~BITTERSWEET CHRISTMAS~
By: Carmen Brining
Indianapolis, Indiana

I dread Christmas ~ gaudy with its bangles and bows and tinsel.
It is contrived, a frenzied whirlwind
That pushes and pulls me along
In the guise of happy-ever-after and universal love.

I am sidestepping this kind of holiday
For mine is a bittersweet Christmas.
Our son died and ledt too many never-mores.
It's the love-no-longer-here that diminishes Christmas.

Yet Christmas still comes.
It is, after all, a unique time to acknowledge love.
But sadness and Christmas don't mix,
And I cannot promise much.

As I struggle, a Christmas song fills the air:
For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given...

Suddenly, there is something I never saws before.
We celebrate this day because of Christ's birth - His coming.
Yet, with every coming, there is a going.
A son, God's Son, had to leave in order to come to us.

Here, even at this first Christmas, when the star lit the earth,
And the angels sang to announce the Babe, God's Gift of love,
Was there not an emptiness in the Heavens because Christ left?
Was not God, the Father, Himself sad?  Christmas and sadness do mix!

O God, You do understand don't You, my own bittersweet Christmas?

~GRIEF AND THE HOLIDAYS - ONE~

~THE HARD QUESTION~

~GRIEF SUPPORT INFORMATION~ PAGE INDEX