In past years, our Footprints Ministry Holiday Newsletter has focused on handling grief at Christmas time. This year, let’s discuss Thanksgiving. How can a parent who is grieving over the loss of a child be thankful?

My oldest son Jeff died on November 4th. The next few weeks were horrible. He was living in New York City when he died, by hanging himself. Because there was no note, we had an autopsy done, then had his body flown here to Charlotte NC for burial. Jeff had no assets or insurance so we, his parents, had to quickly raise the funds for his casket, grave site, burial etc. When we looked close at his body, we could see rope burns on his neck. Very shortly after this, my wife & I were playing "If only…"

About two weeks after this, Thanksgiving 1987 arrived. I know we had a small celebration but the details are foggy – we were still in shock. How can anyone be thankful under these circumstances?

In this Newsletter, we’re going to discuss the history of Thanksgiving, its purpose and how we are learning to be thankful – no matter the circumstances.

Throughout history man has celebrated a bountiful harvest with some kind of thanksgiving ceremonies. Harvest festivals and thanksgiving celebrations were held by the ancient Greeks, the Romans, the Hebrews, the Chinese and the Egyptians.

Let’s look at the Hebrew celebrations, which exist to this day. Jewish families celebrate Sukkoth or the Feast of Tabernacles. Sukkoth is named for the huts that Moses and the Israelites lived in as they wandered in the desert for 40 years. Now when Jewish families celebrate Sukkoth, they build small huts of branches, usually inside their homes, which they use as temporary shelter for eight days. The whole point is to show thankfulness to God for his blessings. 

(http://www.holidays.net/thanksgiving/story.htm)

~THE PILGRIMS~

We associate Thanksgiving with the Pilgrims. When they landed at Plymouth Rock in November 1620, they wrote and signed the Mayflower Compact which says their purpose was: Having undertaken for the glory of God, and advancement of the Christian faith…a voyage to plant the first colony in the northern parts of Virginia.." They celebrated a harvest festival in 1621, which we usually call the first Thanksgiving.

But remember their circumstances. They sailed to America to escape religious persecution. The ship was small, the voyage was long, the storms were many and severe, and many died on the voyage. Once they landed, a brutal winter left them ragged, malnourished and susceptible to disease. Nearly half of the remainder died. Their knowledge of planting was useless in the new hostile conditions: drought dried up crops; the soil was full of rocks. Yet as a group, the Pilgrims thanked the Lord every day.

The Pilgrims humble response to their affliction is evidenced by their many writings, which express deeply thankful hearts. For example:

Peter Browne: Thanks be to God that we found fields already cleared for planting.

George Soule: God be praised that we had the strength to build seven houses in a very short time.

Elizabeth Hopkins: Praise God, my family is alive and did survive the general sickness.

This proclamation by President Abraham Lincoln, for October 3 1863, set the precedent for America’s national day of Thanksgiving. It set the last Thursday of November ‘as a day of Thanksgiving and praise." Remember this was in the middle of the Civil War. He enumerates several blessings, which he attributes to the "watchful providence of Almighty God."

While acknowledging "a civil war of unequal magnitude and severity", President Lincoln could list many blessings that are "the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy."

 This was issued by President George Bush on November 16, 2001; just weeks after the destruction of the World Trade Center on September 11. In part, President Bush said: As we recover from the terrible tragedies of September 11, Americans of every belief and heritage give thanks to God for the many blessings we enjoy as a free, faithful and fair-minded land…In thankfulness and humility, we acknowledge, especially now, our dependence on ONE greater than ourselves…On this day of Thanksgiving, let our Thanksgiving be revealed in the compassionate support we render to our fellow citizens who are grieving unimaginable loss; and let us reach out with care to those in need of food, shelter and words of hope."
(http://www.holidays.net/thanksgiving/thpres2001.htm) 

"Rejoice in the Lord always", says Paul as he writes from a dungeon in Rome. In the 11th chapter of 2nd Corinthians, Paul wrote: Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers…I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure." Yet this is the man who can say "Rejoice."

Charles Stanley reminds us that: "Paul’s strength grew out of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Therefore he could face any trial because he knew God was with him strengthening him. He could face every adversity with a mindset of spiritual victory. Thanksgiving and praise transport us into the Throne Room of God." 

(http://www.intouch.org) 

~ELISABETH ELLIOT~

Elisabeth Elliot is a modern day example of someone who has suffered deep losses yet can still be thankful. The Auca Indians killed her first husband, missionary Jim Elliot, as he was trying to find a way to witness to them. Since then, she has lost two more husbands.

Elisabeth was interviewed on the Gateway To Joy radio program in 2000. She describes one mother who could still give God thanks, even after her 6 year old daughter was found with a large brain tumor, had brain surgery, radiation treatments and was undergoing chemotherapy at the time of the broadcast. Also: "I know dear thoughtful souls – people who have been in pain practically all their lives, never a good night’s sleep, can’t move a muscle – and yet they are happy in the Lord, contented, thankful."

She lists several things a Christian should be thankful for: new birth, Christian friends, books, church, pardon for sin, indwelling of the Holy Spirit, deliverance from a load of guilt etc.

Let’s look at the negatives first. Those who are unthankful hang out in a bad crowd: "In the last days, perilous times will come. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemous, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, despisers of good…" 2 Timothy 3:2 +

Charles Stanley of In Touch Ministry reminds us: Thanksgiving refreshes our souls and prepares us for God’s service. It motivates us to seek His purpose in every difficulty, and teaches us to trust the Lord without regard to feelings of doubt or fear." 

When we praise God for His faithfulness even in times of sorrow, others witness our faith and, ultimately are drawn closer to the Lord. Giving thanks does not mean we should ignore or deny the pain – it’s real. Giving thanks to God teaches us how to worship and focus on the goodness of God, even though our circumstances are rotten. 

(http://www.intouch.org) 

~MAKE THIS A DIFFERENT THANKSGIVING~

Let’s do a summary thus far: Awful things happen. Most of us, for example, have lost one or more children; some through terrible circumstances: shot, stabbed, deliberately drowned etc. Yet when we compare our lives to others around the world, we in America are truly blessed, especially materially. We Christians are not persecuted for our faith nearly as much as our brothers & sisters elsewhere. For all this, we should be thankful – to our God. 

Yet if we stop here, we’ve missed something important. Our blessings are not to be selfishly hogged; they are to be voluntarily shared. We found a tremendous list on Annie’s Home Page, a Christian website: (http://annieshomepage.com). Her ideas to Make This A Different Thanksgiving include:

If you know a single person, make sure they don’t spend Thanksgiving alone. Let them be part of your family for the day.

Spend one hour as a family at a shelter or nursing home volunteering

If you can afford it, take a single mother to the grocery store & pay for their Thanksgiving groceries

Make two pies & give one to a shut-in

Call a neighbor & have them come over for a piece of pie

Share your abundance of clothes with a homeless shelter

Make some sandwiches & cookies and take to a homeless shelter

Share with a lonely widow, a widower or a single parent who has lost a child.

Adopt elderly without children as Grandparent for the day

Put seasonal treats in a shoebox & donate to a nursing home 
 
 

~FATHER'S DAY~ NEWSLETTER ~ MAY/JUNE 2002

~HELPING GRIEVING CHILDREN~ NEWSLETTER ~ NOV/DEC 2002

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