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Grannie's Beans

 

Home Cancer Sucks - Journal  Random Thots February 6 February 11, 2004 THE AWAKENING

"Jessie, I warned you about Grannie's beans," Sarah said as she opened the front door and all the windows in the living room. "The room is turning green, for heaven’s  sake!"

  "Sorry, Babe, but they were so damn good that I couldn‘t stop myself. She must have spent hours baking those things."

  "Scheesch! I think she must have mixed in some gun powder or some other explosive mixture this time." Sarah picked up a newspaper and started fanning the air. "I wonder if this is toxic? It sure smells like something that died a week ago and then sat in the sun and heat."

  "Oh, like yours don’t smell? Give me a break, Sarah! Just because you tend toward the silent but deadly type, you don’t have to act like lil’ Miss Prissy Pants."

  "I’m not the one polluting the atmosphere and probably punching another hole in the ozone layer, Mr. Loves the Environment!"

  Another thunderous release of gas reverberated through the already thickened air in the room.

  "Ahhhh, I feel better already, "Jessie said with a grin.

  "Can’t you take that outside? C’mon, Jessie, it’s really getting beyond gross."

  "Arg Arg! Me caveman trying to impress woman with my manliness!"

  Jessie jumped up off the sofa bent over dragging his knuckles on the floor.

  "Stop it! You’re really starting to irritate me!"

  Sarah started fanning herself with the newspaper when the resulting gas from Grandma’s beans escaped her body producing a little toot that sounded like a party horn.

  Jessie started laughing so hard that he fell on the floor at Sarah’s feet. When he could catch his breath he said, "Me thinks that the Princess just tooteth. Is that roses I smelleth?"

  Sarah started to laugh which resulted in more toots and more laughter. Both of them ended up on the floor gasping for air for more reason than one.

  "Truce?" Jessie said as they both lay on the floor fanning themselves.

  "Yup, truce."

  "Promise you won’t let me eat too many of Grannie’s beans next picnic?"

  "Promise, if you promise to do the same."

  A toot and a thunder blast erupted almost at the same time as both of them got up and ran for the front door laughing like children.
 
  "Do ya think that the wallpaper stands a chance back in there?" Jessie asked as they sat on the porch.

  "I hope not. It's time for a change anyway."