Hallway: From here you can see many interesting problems. Under the runner on the floor is a large section of the wood floor that seems to have considerable rot. When you look at the stick-on tile ceiling, you can see signs of water, but it’s been painted over and no longer shows signs of any leaking. Maybe this means the paint is water-proof? Maybe the water found a new place to visit. Oh, yeah. The back porch, I bet. Looking around at the doors, you tend to feel a little odd. Dizzy even. You see, of the five doors leading off of the hallway, no two have the same height by between ½” and 1”. The person who did these doors obviously did not use a level because the slope of each frame is SO noticeable it makes you want to sit down. Ah, the return of The Lazy Eye. The linen closet is built in with three drawers at the bottom. Cob-job. The drawers barely open, and the doors barely shut. And you can tell the floor is sinking because of the wonderful kitchen pass-thru. (see Kitchen)
Master Bedroom: Not a bad paint job. Nice ceiling fan. The wood floors seemed to have been stained a rather dark color, and show signs of cracking and wear, like maybe a figure skater lived here and practiced in this room. Only two outlets, but other than this, it’s not too bad.
Room #2 (front): Same as the Master Bedroom. Exactly.
Room #3 (back): One of the first things you notice when you enter is the wall BEHIND the door. It’s at an angle. This was built to enclose the rain leader that comes right down the center of the house. (Flat roof that drains to the center) The light fixture needs an update, and the closet doesn’t seem to have changed at all, including the wall paper. Exposed wiring in the closet too.
Room #4 (back): This room is small. Not really a bedroom, but it’ll do for now. This room was the darkest blue, and seemed to have been an afterthought. The wall that is shared with the bathtub was framed about an inch over the window frame in this room. Eeesh. The light and one outlet were an afterthought, also. From a hole in the ceiling snakes some exposed wiring. By far the most messed up room. There is carpet, if you can call it that, in here. If you stub your toe or trip, it’s the carpet. It’s like someone found some carpet, and just put it down. Wall to wall, with large cut right down the middle.
Full Bath: Good Lord. This door is the worst one. Crooked, and the wall board on the hallway side doesn’t even cover the shims. The door barely clears the toilet when you open it. The floor is stained and ugly. So ugly it looks like the floor may have been put in upside-down. The vanity isn’t connected to the wall, and the wallpaper is not terrible, but not our taste either. The mirror is beautiful, though. The bathtub, well, it’s hard to explain. The glass doors don’t LOOK crooked, but for some reason there is a long piece of wood on one end that is triangular in shape, spanning the entire height of the tub door, used as a shim. What the hell? If you need to shim your tub doors, don’t you think there’s something WRONG here. Maybe evil. Maybe there is a Hell Mouth under the house, and it’s slowly sinking into it. Every time you flush the toilet, the water hammer shakes the house. Could be demons, now that I think of it.
Garage: I think it’s starting to fall over. There’s room for my Jeep Wrangler, but not much else. Automatic door opener, too. Needs either a demotion team or some love.
Exterior: Small yard, but nice. All new grass, and my neighbor told me it was the envy of the neighborhood. The two HUGE trees bordering my property take all the light and nutrients. Hell, one week after I moved in a neighbors tree fell in a wind storm and took out a chunk of my fence and left a big hole in the yard. Oh boy.
The driveway needs sealant, too. But the grass is nice. During the front porch thing I noticed something. Stay tuned for this one...
Afterthoughts
I'm sure (and I've been told) that what I've written here may make it seem like I hate this house, but that is simply not true. I've grown to love this house, even with all that's wrong. After all, what house doesn't have it's problems?
I know where to walk on the stairs to keep the creaking to a minimum. I expect to hear a certain sound when the wind blows. I know when I fix the toilet (I've been reading about how to do it!) that I'll miss the sound of banshees screaming across the ceiling. At least for a little while.
My house, my home, has character. Character unknown in a "cookie cutter" home. Unique in it's design and even unique in it's angles, I'm sure. My goal here is to update the home without destroying this character, for long after my children have moved on, they'll always remember where to step so as not to wake anyone up. Just like Dad.
