Isaac, Taylor, Jessica, Avery, Mackenzie, Walker, and Diana Hanson stood around Zac's open casket. Zoe was being held by Diana tightly.
"I don't understand." Diana kept saying. "I don't understand any of it."
Walker put his arm around her, trying to calm her sobbing.
Mackenzie kept walking to the coffin and calling Zac's name. Why didn't his big brother wake up? Why wouldn't Zackie come play with him?
Avery wouldn't talk and Jessica would only cry. Zoe, well, she didn't know what was going on. But you can be sure that when she got older thousands of stories were told of her lost older brother. The one that always made everyone smile. The one that nobody could hate because he was just too much fun. The one who made people feel better when they were hurting. The one who was more than special.
Isaac was in shock. He had known. He had known something was wrong with Zac but he never knew what to do. He hadn't known it was this serious. He had never thought that what ever had bothered Zac was so severe he would take his life over it.
Taylor sat, unmoving. Aimee had come to the funeral, her cousin too. "I keep thinking of all the things I wish I had done." he said. "I wish I had been nicer. I took his talent for granted. I took advantage of the fact that he was my brother and I didn't respect him enough. This is my fault."
"Taylor it's not your fault. There's no way you could have predicted Zac would do something like this." Aimee tried to calm him, but to no avail.
Taylor held a note in his hand. A small crumpled napkin.
If I'm gone when you wake up,
you should cry.
If I'm gone when you wake up,
it's good bye.
This is the last time,
I'll deal with my distress.
Remember me, remember me,
because I'm not coming back again.
Taylor, Isaac,
I just want to let you know. You asked what was wrong, so here it is. I was the third wheel of Hanson. The unloved. I was the forgotten one in our family. So, since there's really no purpose for me prolonging this shitty life of mine, I've decided I'll be better off in Heaven. Or Hell, wherever I end up.
Miss me much, whatever,
Zac
"I'm going to miss him so much. I'm going to miss his wackiness, and his stupid comments. They weren't really even dumb comments." Taylor wailed on.
Isaac glanced over the napkin again. "Well," he sighed, holding his girlfriend's hand. "I guess it's true."
"What is?"
"You don't know what you've got until it's gone."
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