Beware These Viruses!
Ellen Degeneres virus
Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.
Monica Lewinsky virus
Sucks all the memory out of your
computer.
Titanic virus
Makes your whole computer go down.
Disney virus
Everything in the computer goes Goofy.
Mike Tyson virus
Quits after one byte.
Prozac virus
Screws up your RAM but your processor
doesn't care.
Lorena Bobbit virus
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch
floppy.
Woody Allen virus
By-passes the motherboard and turns on
daughter card.
Joey Buttafuoco virus
Only attacks minor files.
Spice Girl virus
Has no real function, but makes a
pretty desktop.
Ronald Reagan virus
Saves your data, but forgets where it
is stored.
Dr. Kevorkian virus
Searches your hard drive for old files
and deletes them.
Oprah Winfrey virus
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks
to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.
ATT virus
Every 3 minutes it tells you what
great service you are getting.
MCI virus
Every 3 minutes it reminds you that
you're paying too much for the ATT virus.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus
Terminates and stays resident... It'll
be back.
Viagra virus
Expands your hard drive while putting
too much pressure on your zip drive.
...Then there is the Clinton PC...
It has a six inch hard drive and no
memory