Humor page 3
Trip to the Vet
A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he
lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope,
placing the stethoscope on the dog's chest. After a moment
or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm
sorry, but your dog has passed away." "What?" screamed
the man. "How can you tell? You haven't done any
testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!" With that,
the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he
returned with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to
work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly. After a
considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook
his head and said "Bark". The veterinarian then took the
Labrador out and returned in a few moments with
a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table.
As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head
and said, "Meow." He then jumped off the table and ran
out of the room. The veterinarian handed the man a bill for
$600. The dog's owner went postal. "$600! Just to tell me
my dog is dead? This is outrageous!"
The vet shook his head sadly and explained. "If you had
taken my word for it, it would have been $50, but with the
Lab work and the cat scan..."
Thanks to Chris Saunders
The Diet
A dietitian was addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we
put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years
ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese
food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous and none of us realize
the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is
one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it.
Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and
suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."
The Wedding
My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my Mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband." And she said, "I do."
Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife," and my Mom said, "He does."
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