um.....

right, first things first, i would like to express my views on shoelaces. they just do not get enough respect. they keep our footwear in its rightful place and make pretty little bows. they can be short or long and come in a variety of exciting colours. why then, oh why, do many of this world's youth insist on....horror of horrors....tucking their laces into their trainers, out of sight? a pure travesty. let the laces run free, i say. encourage bows of many bright colours to add a dash of free spirit to yout every day attire. go on, do it. let them roam, let them straggle, but whatever you do, never let them fray. they may retaliate with a series of graceless flying lessons....you have been warned.

secondly, this is just a fleeting thought and one brought on by mere frustration, at that. please tell me, why is it that people, particularly parents, buy a perfectly good dishwasher ("oh yes, a great deal more convenient") then toddle off to bentalls or wherever and insist on purchasing a load of new crockery that can only be washed in the sink? i mean, what is that all about? you have a dishwasher for a reason. i am not a dishwasher.

now let us take a dig at the new girl band 'hepburn', shall we? firstly, cheesy, corny name. you are not promoting the same image as dear audrey. call yourselves the sugar girls or something. secondly, this may or may not be a good thing, but take a look at the guitarist - is that not charlotte from ash? the bassist - shirley manson - am i wrong? nope, thought not. genius on behalf of the person who created hepburn; take two of the most respected females from bands britain has at the moment, preferably strong characters and bung lookalikes in a new band. hello? not hot on originality, are we mr manager? looks-wise it could just have been a coincidence, obviously they weren't stuck under a surgeon's knife to achieve thier looks, but the hair, makeup and clothes? what happened to subtlety in pop? exactly. who needs subetly. wahey for ripp-offs! heheheh. (i'm sorry. but you weren't expecting that and frankly, i've watched 'boyz unlimited'. i don't care what the manager has done. and anyway, personally i prefer napalm death. possibly.)