BLACK - A hiss in time saves nine.  Make a list of everyone in need of biting before setting out today so you don't forget anyone.  Visualizing a refrigerator with an open door can help make it come true.  Don't let another household pet pin the rap on you for a carpet snag that's not your fault.

ORANGE - If you haven't decided to start shedding by now, wait until September.  Forget about love - just lie back and enjoy the belly rubs while they last.  Skip the funeral of a close friend if it means having to leave your food bowl unguarded.

WHITE - Doubts about the intelligence of the people in your household are well-founded - run the second you hear a power tool starting up.  To avoid making the same mistakes yourself, remember to always look twice and scratch once.  Update your collection of fallen potato chips if the opportunity presents itself.  Indulge yourself this evening - lick yourself silly.  Twice!

CALICO - Summon up the courage to finally find out what's behind that cabinet door.  A sudden movement by a stranger in the house deserves your heated condemnation.  Don't bother trying to change your inner nature for stale treats.  Your biggest enemy tonight will be your imagination.

GRAY - Just because an old acquaintance has walked across several states to get back home is no reason for you to waste your afternoon listening to his adventures.  Try to get out more yourself, even if you have to put on the dog to do so.  Afternoon tummy troubles prove to be nothing that a good barf on the bed can't cure.

OTHER - Events require you to trust a human for awhile - try to make the best of it.  Don't let your desire to prowl make you miss an ideal opportunity to sun yourself in a window this afternoon.  That irritation under your collar demands immediate attention!
 
 

BLACK - Take pride in your ability to always land on your feet instead of focusing on your fat butt all the time.  The Significant Other Cat in your life turns out to be a loser - cut your loses while you're still ahead.  A fantastic odor on the wind enriches your evening - savor it while it lasts!

ORANGE - Changes in your feeding schedule requires some serious head-butting.  Make sure you set aside some time just for pointless meowing.  Late afternoon sleepies demand that you just drop and nap wherever you are when they strike - do it, no excuses necessary.  A quiet night should allow you to catch up on your reading.

WHITE - Flirt to your heart's content while you still can.  Keep yourself out of a sticky situation by using the litterbox before the kittens.  Try to determine why a visitor keeps staring at you and backing away by rubbing up against their legs repeatedly.  Remember to chew your new food 32 times before spitting it out.

CALICO - Don't look back - something may be barking at you.  Fight the urge to nap atop the TV today - accumulated fur within is now a fire hazard.  Don't settle for the first treat offered - there's better stuff being held in reserve.  Beware an evening camera flash!  

GRAY - A bird in the mouth is worth two dropped at the feet of an hysterical woman.  Kids with poking fingers need to be taught a little lesson.  Spend time with a friend about to be fixed - you'll be glad later that you did.  If you can't handle your catnip, don't sniff the green felt lizard toy.     

SIAMESE - If you have an enlarged ego, flaunt it.  Your day perks up with the arrival of a new electric can opener.  If Vase Tippers Anonymous calls, pretend you're not home.  Someone you know thinks you're cute - let them.
Don't forget to stretch - your muscle tone depends on it!