Alrighty then...we have the concert tickets, we have the hotel, we are getting the plane tickets, and we are READY for Hawaii baby! Anyways, before we set out on our adventure, we must prepare and plan accordingly. Cuz you know, it takes time and careful preparation when planning a tropical seduction. Hell, Hurricane Raul could pop up at any moment and blow your grass skirt off. THEN what would you do? Lol. All factors must be taken into consideration, ESPECIALLY the bad pineapple that tends to go around. So, moving on...first I will introduce the stalkers..and their stalkees.
Val -- who will be stalking Just Ride JC Chasez.
Kat -- who will be stalking Bump N Grind Lance Bass.
Ok, onto the next part of the plan. Now, after receiving word from my coherts that we got the hotel and the tickets, I decided it was high time to lay the groundwork of our plan. So, I mapped it out, down to the very last detail. And because YOU are all my friends, I decided to share it with you. I hope you enjoy...but if you steal my ideas...Raul will get you. (And that's a threat AND a promise..lol). So anyhow, after I found out that we were FOR SURE going, I decided tropical outfits were the first thing we needed to seduce the boys. So, since my dad just finished mowing our very large lawn...I decided that I would make use of the clippings, and weave ourselves some nifty grass skirts. It took me awhile, but I came up with the best grass skirts JC, Justin, and Lance ever did lay eyes on. Haha. Next, I personally wanted to look like I had just been lounging around in my hammock (that I also weaved out of the grass from the yard) in paradise, waiting for my boy Justy to just FALL on me. Lol. So, I began tanning like I was Britney Spears on crack. It won't be long till I am a deep shade of orange...*ahem* I mean BRONZE. My girls Kat and Val also decided that they should get some sun, and fast. So they began their ungodly tanning schedule as well. Well ya know, how ever long slathering fake tanner on takes, that is ungodly. Haha. Then, I decided that we needed something to complement the absolutely gorgeous grass skirts that I weaved. So...I went out and bought me a LOVE-ely bunch of coconuts...dedelydee. Haha (it's a song people...get with it! haha). When I got home, I chopped those babies in half, and made us some lovely coconut bra tops to wow our fellas. (The straps to hold up the coconuts were weaved out of grass...by yours truly. Lol.) I also figured we would need lei's to give to our boys, as well as flower headband things. So, while on my way to the mall to buy us some cheap long black wigs, I stopped and stole some fake flowers from the cemetary. (Hey..they won't miss em!) *Side note...I would never do that...so don't email me saying that is wrong. This is purely for entertainment* When I got home, I busted out the fishing line, and fixed us up with some funky hair ornaments, as well as leis for our men. One last step for now in preparation for our seduction, is to learn the hula. So, I popped in my tape of N Sync on the Pro Bowl, and watched the commercials for Hawaii, until I got the hula down pat. Nevermind that there was only like a 2 second commercial. I just put that bad boy on slow mo, and I was golden.
So anyhow, after I found out that we were FOR SURE going, I decided tropical outfits were the first thing we needed to seduce the boys. So, since my dad just finished mowing our very large lawn...I decided that I would make use of the clippings, and weave ourselves some nifty grass skirts. It took me awhile, but I came up with the best grass skirts JC, Justin, and Lance ever did lay eyes on. Haha.
Next, I personally wanted to look like I had just been lounging around in my hammock (that I also weaved out of the grass from the yard) in paradise, waiting for my boy Justy to just FALL on me. Lol. So, I began tanning like I was Britney Spears on crack. It won't be long till I am a deep shade of orange...*ahem* I mean BRONZE. My girls Kat and Val also decided that they should get some sun, and fast. So they began their ungodly tanning schedule as well. Well ya know, how ever long slathering fake tanner on takes, that is ungodly. Haha.
Then, I decided that we needed something to complement the absolutely gorgeous grass skirts that I weaved. So...I went out and bought me a LOVE-ely bunch of coconuts...dedelydee. Haha (it's a song people...get with it! haha). When I got home, I chopped those babies in half, and made us some lovely coconut bra tops to wow our fellas. (The straps to hold up the coconuts were weaved out of grass...by yours truly. Lol.) I also figured we would need lei's to give to our boys, as well as flower headband things. So, while on my way to the mall to buy us some cheap long black wigs, I stopped and stole some fake flowers from the cemetary. (Hey..they won't miss em!) *Side note...I would never do that...so don't email me saying that is wrong. This is purely for entertainment* When I got home, I busted out the fishing line, and fixed us up with some funky hair ornaments, as well as leis for our men.
One last step for now in preparation for our seduction, is to learn the hula. So, I popped in my tape of N Sync on the Pro Bowl, and watched the commercials for Hawaii, until I got the hula down pat. Nevermind that there was only like a 2 second commercial. I just put that bad boy on slow mo, and I was golden.
Alright...more details of the plan to find out where N Sync is staying in Hawaii have come to me, so I decided to share them with you. See, we aren't sure where N Sync is staying yet, BUT, me ..being the creative genius that I am *yeah right*, with Val's stalking skillz, and Kat's Lance radar (Joey repellant close at hand), we figure it will be cake.
First off, we are going to videotape EVERYTHING...well, almost everything. I personally plan on getting wild and crazy on da islands. I am gonna just go up to random people on the street and trying to pry out of them whether or not they know where N Sync is staying. Of course, you have to have some TACTICS to do this...so I have planned ahead of time. Here is what is gonna go down:
First, I have to have my picture of Justin and Chris. I am sure I can find one at Claire's, cuz as you know, Claire's has everything. (According to Lance anyhow). I will shove it in people's faces, while saying...'Have you seen these hooligans? The braided one stole my dog Busta, and I am VERY pissed about it. I want the curly one cuz he was driving the getaway car and bout ran me over. Damn them! If you tell me where I could find them, I am offering a reward. It's not much. Just this picture here...*whipping out a poster of Howie drooling AND winking*, which ya know...speaks for itself. I am sure you don't need any convincing. So...tell me everything you know...spare me no detail.' Lol...isn't that great? I thought so!
So yeah, my devious mind has been at it again, and Val, Kat and my plan is coming into sharper focus. See...we found out from a *source* (right Val?) that there is a STRONG possibility that N Sync might be staying in the same hotel as...you guessed it. US! (Our hotel is really nice, and VERY close to the venue) But yeah...anyhow. We figure that as soon as we get to the hotel, it's stalking time. We will go up and down those damn halls all night if we have to.
Also, we have figured out the key to a one way ticket to N Sync's hotel room. Very simple: Joey Fatone..the walking STD. Yeah, I know it may seem really disgusting, but flirt with Joey (although painful), it shouldn't take long for him to fall for you. Yep, he's definitely the key: he has the least amount of intelligence, and wants anything with boobs and two legs. Well...except for that incident with the peg legged chick...j/k)
Woobaby~ we've got some extra special good news for ya'll. We finally got our asses in gear and got airline tix to Hawaii. We are leaving the 27th, and guess who's flight we JUST SO HAPPENED to get on? *Thanks Michael! Also thanks to Val and her mom...you guys rock.* Hmmm...let's just say we might be getting some nasty looks from teenies that day at the airport. Lol.
Aight, well, as you all know (or maybe don't know..) we just might happen to *run into* N Sync at the airport. Woohoo. Lol. Anyhow, we have worked out more of our plan. See, first off, I just have to tell you that JC pronounces Reese's...(like the candy) ReeSEEEEE's. Like he emphasizes the seeeeeee's. Lol, ya know instead of pronouncing the last part says..he says seeees. So anyhow, with that in mind...let's continue. First off, we have a master plan involving Val getting to JC, WITHOUT having to worry bout Bobbi. See, all of their families..and some of their women are flying with them on this nice Hawaiian vacation. (Soon to be disrupted by yours truly and posse). So yeah, the day before we leave, we are gonna go to Sam's Club and buy ourselves a few economy sized bags of ReeSEEE's for JC. These will come into play in the airport. Ya see, here's the deal:
Val sees JC standing with the rest of the guys, and of course...Bobbi. So...because Val is well, in love with JC..she will begin running toward him, swinging the large bags of ReeSEEE's behind her. So the scenario plays out like this...I can see it now, in slow mo. Which, ya know, scares me, but oh well.
Val running toward JC
Val hurdling Chris, cuz ya know..he's short
Finally getting to JC, and while wildly swinging the economy bag of ReeSEEE's...knocks Bobbi out cold.
That's where I come in...I drag Bobbi away by her hair and throw her on the luggage belt in the baggage claim. No one, except the scary bald guy, who ALSO has bad teeth wants her..so she just keeps going, round..and round. Until finally she awakens, sees the guy with bad teeth, and thinking it's JC (Ok, she has a bit of an amnesia problem now) runs to him. Aww how sweet. Lol.
Ok, now if you are interested in some commentary I have planned, read THIS im convo...it's pretty hilarious. (At least I think) So for now, we have made THAT the extent of our plans. More coming soon however, cuz ya know we can't forget the flame throwers that we hired. Gotta stick them in there somewhere now don't we? Lol.
Thrust It Back To the Mainland!