GABBY ABBIE!

"I'm strangely attracted to you and I don't know why--I assume you play ringette."
(funnier cos she's talking to Sabrina)

"I can't believe you stole my mom's pot!"

That was less 'quotes page' and more 'the pain that is my life', really.

"Where's Vida? Is Vida in here? Is Vida here? I promised Vida a ride. I love Vida. Vida's so nice."
(while stuffed into the back of Danni's hatchback)

"We call him Konky, aka Jason White...Supremacist."
-only funny cos the penguin bounces, but not as funny as Spongebob Klanpants

"Did I get drunk last night and get a job?"
(welcome back, honey!)

Don't you jiggle my fat and then tell me to go to the community center!

"I didn't call you bitch, baby; I love you."

"Now what is A.J. going to do with a beaver cake?"

"Girl...we get in for free!"
-to Tatiana

"I gotta show-pass!"
-to everyone

"I look just like Jennifer Hudson."

"I need to find my best friend Lisa."
-talking about a total stranger

"I was clipping in my hair."
-on why she missed everything that had gone on earlier in the day

"I wanna chook-a-look at the purses."
sidewalk sale with Kim and Dutchie

"Why is everybody Chinese?"
-it's a fair question....

"We wrote a letter to the lesbians across the hall..."
(all good stories start this way)

"I'm going to fart on you."
-showing Troy the love

"I may have just breast-fed your box....congratulations"

"Have just read latest update to quotes page.  Although I do admit I was rather drunk at the time of many of said quotes, and I can quite readily agree that the *big* panties be referred to as blackout curtains, I still doubt I would have been so crass to have used the word pussy, I'm sure that this was lost in translation and that it was originally something much more delicate, such as kitten."

"It's like, eleven o'twelve!"

"It's ten thirty--you're clean enough for the bar!"
-to Chad

"You can't buy something without sitting on it first."

"We have no table--table is floor."

"Like you can see my pussy through these panties--they're like blackout curtains!"

"Let's take pictures of Michele getting sexually assaulted!"

It's beige and it's *this* big!
(guess what she's talking about!)

"I'm tipping and I curtsied and I think Schmoo got to third base with me!"

"That moose have got some big balls! No, seriously, have you seen 'em?"
(funnier without explanation)

"I broke the internet."

"Manitoba!Chad is mean....and cuddly."

"Who Dat Queen? A new boardgame brought to you by the Pantagami Rainbow Unicorn Club and the makers of Whosit."

"I love chicken....and you!"
-to Jaimie

"I think I have a chicken hangover!"

"Them's Tyra's babies!"

"When wearing hotel sponge blanket dress, best not to wear shoes made out of sand paper"
 high fashion tips

"Look I 'm wearing brown, I'm Channeling Kricket!"

"She just needs a box to put them in."
(talking about quotes)

"I should go out and do a number right now cos I can do anything in a boa."

"Don't make me fart on you!"

"Hey, I just hit the pause key with my loins! Write that down!)

"Trixie's buying me shooters; she's got my back."

"Oh! Girls! Vagina! Vagina!"
telling some newbie that he's going into the wrong bathroom

"Grumpy bear missed his emergency poo!"

"I need Tequila shooters!"
- she goes on to hand Anastasia a wad of bills, which she puts into her bra

"Follow me around; I'm not in there and it fuckin' pisses me off."
 demanding to be quoted.

"Okay, we're gonna put this over here by you. you seem much more sober than I am."

"I don't know who the fuck is working the door!"
- on a night off

"I'm at the ELCR! And now I'm in your book, bitch!"
SHANA: Get as close to a window as possible
ABBIE: preferably jump out of it.

GEOFF: I think that was our 12 o clock rush
ABBIE: That Guy?
(working the door on a sketchy friday)

We've gots to come up with some quotes, talk funny to me.

Jaimie: What'd you spill on the floor?
Abbie: I didn't do it but i'm stickin to it!

DORIAN: See, if I were working the door, I'd be, like, 'no, you're ugly'; 'no, you're fat'.
ABBIE: See, I do that already.

GEOFF: Yeah, there was a volleyball player with one leg...
ABBIE: Did he have a strap on....on the other side?

LEE:Yay cheese!
ABBIE: Cake!
LEE: Cheese!
ABBIE: Cake!
LEE: Cheese!
ABBIE: Cake!

TYRA: I had a poop this morning that was a no-wiper.
ABBIE: You didn't have to wipe? Or you chose not to wipe?
 

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