ANNE WHATSITTOYA?!

"I have to go to bed now and have Pon farr with my husband!"

XXX

"I still got the suck."

"Our table has a broken leg; I won't tell you what happened, but I'm getting married."

“Are you a chicken?  Show me your pecker”

"Become one with the wall."--on eavesdropping

"I can hear a flea fart in Moose Jaw."

"Unca Thom is old and rickety."

"I've never inhaled a chip before!"

"I don't go to the bathroom, that's why I smell this way."

"A cock in the tail is worth two in the bush."

MICHELE: It's nice out.
THOMAS: I think I'll leave it out for a while.

Dropping the phone when you orgasm is NOT multi-tasking!

What's your whore's name again? Allison?

"He just missed the ooey-gooey-ness."
-on Dorian and cinnamon bun sundaes

"I peed on the floor!"

"Have another eclair, fatty!"
(Anne says hello)

"Computer says 'no'."

"Is she dead? or did she eat herself into a stupor?"

MICHELE: What did you do to my princess?
THOMAS: I don't know but I think I used up all my coupons!

"Mitchell's Grandma's G-String is the best..."

"That's Yada getting ready!"
-on the clothes flying during Mitchell's number

"Where were your spidey senses then, smart guy?"
-mocking Jim Ellison

"Nothin' says luvin' like a big piece of pork."

"Oh, and for those folks from Regina, this just in: Blair Sandburg is a big bottom!"
-hosting Calgary's ball

"Yada bleeds margaritas!"

"My scrotum is stuck to my right thigh..."

"Here comes Bacardi Marty!"

"I told Martin I was like a fine wine I'm getting better with time and then he locked me in the basement for two weeks."

"*gasp* You're SPIES for Michele, aren't you?"

ANNE: Did you see my new shoes?
LEE: Do they match your hair (meaning her purple wig)
ANNE: On my feet? Yes.

"Holy Christ! I just realized what a dirty old man I really am!"

"They're ringing black banches."
-Good English, lady!

"You try to be considerate and the wind still blows the fart at you..."
-She's no Confuscius but we love her...

"____ is getting rolls--____ must not be that good in bed after all!"

THOMAS: Who's Sharon's new toy?
BRIAN: He's str8
THOMAS: Oh, she'll fix that

"That's what you get, little bunny--a mouthful of fur and no last name..."

"I gotta pee; put that on your webpage; mamma's gotta pee-e-e!"

THOMAS: Martin and I don't want to be thought of as 'partners'
MARTIN: I suggested we refer to ourselves as 'bum buddies'
THOMAS: I thought political corrected-ness dictates that we should really be "colo-rectal associates".

"Andrea, you never told us he could read!"

"who wants to lick the blue icing off of my crotch?"

"Solidarity in martini boobies!"

"Martin, I'm Batman, you can be Robin!"
(swooping into the hotel room in a cape and a thong...<shudder>)

"You can soak my thong for tea later."

"You should see the colours of my wind!"

"The little baboon asses are good."
-on dessert at Presuttis

"This short moment of evil brough to you by...me!"

"Never mind the six feet, show me the nine inches."
-on Geoff's height

ANGIE: It's a Monkey Mount'n Mudslide (explaining the shooter special)
ANNE: It's a sliverback gorilla with the shits is what it is!

"Poor old girl; she smells like a grease fire."

DEEDZ: What did you say?
ANNE: I said you look lovely tonight, dear.

"Look, it's a magnifying glass--now you can find your penis, ___"

"If my ass was that high up, I'd be a giraffe!"

"I'm a man in a dress, you freak!"
-responding to a come-on

"There's more cheese there than in the whole country of Denmark!"
-on a hockey team

KATHLEEN: I'm going to kiss a straight guy now.
THOMAS: Thank you for kissing me first.

"I don't ever remember looking that bad at that age."

"Michele, did you see my beaver dam? (showing off new goatee) no damn beaver is gettin' past this!

"I almost didn't come to brunch. I mean, I came before brunch, but almost didn't come *to* brunch."

TROY: (to Deedz) What perfume are you wearing?
ANNE: She's got a urinal puck in her bra
DEEDZ: How did that get in here?

"Take that, you lop-sided freak!"
-to Deedz while waxing her eyebrows

"I'll top your vagina!"

"It's da bubbbbblllllssssss."
-eating an Aero bar

"If you're going to play in the orchard, you've gotta get used to the fruit."

"Sex with ___ is like trying to shove marshmallows into a piggy bank."

"My balls grow more hair than his chin!"

"The worst thing about a colostomy bag is finding shoes and a belt to match."

"This is like the casting call for 'V'."

THOMAS( laying back, enjoying the kisses):Oh yah Pete, that's feels sooo good....(snore)
PETE: Thomas? Thomas? Are you falling asleep?
 THOMAS: (jolts awake) Huh? No, I'm purring... (snore)

SHANE: I'm all about the big deck!
THOMAS: I'm all over the big deck!

"Mary, you're on your own! I wash my hands of you!"
-when Deedz gets politically incorrect...

"Joanne's diggin' on the dancin' fruit!"
(I think you had to be there...)

SHANE: I'm a were-woman!
THOMAS: That's right--every twenty eight days she grows a vulva!

"I don't do her hair that way. *She* does her hair that way!"

"By the time she's fifty, Trixie's nipples will be down to here!"
(indicates inner thigh)

"She's so cute--she looks like a 'Wild Things' character."
-could he be talking about the Goddess' height?

"I would never grab a lady's breasts...now Deedz on the other hand...."

"Like fancy pies in a fancy eatery..."
-on Barkley in a revolving door

"I've got something to take that taste out of your mouth..."

"Did you hear? Michele made both lists this year--she's naughty...in that nice way. Nicest bitch I know."

"Trannies don't shake it, they dab."

"What do you call it when hash browns come out of your nose?"

"If it's early enough in the morning, I can rattle china two blocks away."
(only talking about the timbre of his voice, I swear!)

"Duck under the table in case of splashage..."

"Oh, I felt something for you, honey--the back of your throat..."

"EWWW! Moisture!"

"If I eat one more egg salad sandwich, I'm going to shit feathers."

"Here. Hold my purse while I kiss your boyfriend."

"Oh, look, he's smuggling plums into the country."

"Let she without wrinkles pass the first stone."
(wouldn't that hurt?)

"I just sat on my nuts!"

"It's not the same as throwing shit, you howler monkey!"

"Vinyl is the only way to have records."
-good thing she's pretty

"OW! OW! And then he sticks it in his mouth!"
(talking about Jason eating yamfries, if you can believe that!)

"It's illegal to squeeze twinks if you're not going to eat them."

"He bought me a ring, I bought him a twelve gauge, and he proposed."

"It's my night to soil her porcelain, and you've stolen my thunder!"

"For fifty dollars, I can have a whore give me a blowjob whistling the Star Spangled Banner with sparklers sticking out of her ass!"
-on the cost of movers

"I love you more than little girls with fringed pink panties."

"Did you know you can't fart with your legs crossed?"

"Only in Saskatchewan could we fuck up a tornado and have a ploughwind that rolls over on it's side and ploughs up everything!"

"The weenie that eats like a meal!"

"I thought it was a sea manatee stuck on shore."

"Sister Bertha Better-Than-You showed up for an appointment!"

"My best line in a year, and she's in the bathroom!"

"Oh, look, ___ must have lost one of her flying monkeys."

"I don't care how big your hard-on is, be congenial on the phone!"

"Having sex with Trixie is like throwing a sausage down a hallway. End of sentence.
-- Translation Results by Transparent Language --
Le sexe qui a avec Trixie est comme lancer un saucisson en bas un couloir. La fin de phrase.  (French)
El sexo que tiene con Trixie está como tirar una salchicha abajo un pasillo. El fin de la oración.  (spanish)
Geschlecht mit Trixie hat wie Werfen eines sausage hinunter einen Gang ist. Ende des Satzes.  (German)
Che l'avendo sesso con Trixie è come lanciare una salsiccia giù un corridoio. La fine di frase.  (Italian)
Que tendo sexo com Trixie é como jogar uma linguiça para baixo um corredor. O fim de frase.  (portugese)
You can turn an eighteen wheeler around inside Trixie and not get the mirrors wet, that's how loose she is.
-- Translation Results by Transparent Language --
Usted puede girar un dieciocho wheeler alrededor de Trixie interior y no obtener los espejos mojan, eso cómo afloja ella es.  (Spanish)
Thank you class.  That is all for today.  Please pay close attention, because there may be a snap-quiz any day now....
Miss Anne, Special Ed-language Coach"

"While I was being sodomized beyond all recognition, my boyfriend was having his fourth birthday party!"

"Not the cold steel butt plug again!"

"What does this box do?"

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