"Here I stand, the goddess of Desire...."
-Madeline Kahn, I'm Tired

So many people to thank, so many people to congratulate, so many people to mock. And not necessarily in that order. Of course, my mother did say, if you can't say anything nice, come sit next to me...or was it don't put it in your mouth if you don't know where it's been? Whatever.... But relax--if you don't see your name here, it doesn't mean I don't love you...oh, wait, yeah it does. (I kid. I kid because I love...) (this is a classic, so I'm not changing it this year....)

"Things are getting strange I'm starting to worry. This could be a case for Mulder and Scully...."
-Catatonia, Mulder and Scully

First thought: Candidate--Kim Possible (and I'd be lying if I didn't say I wish Trey was running with you, but hopefully she's doing what she needs to do for herself, and staying healthy doing it.) Anyway, Jaimie, ten years later and you're like Windows 2005--better, faster and with less bugs....erh, um...no, I mean if I'm feeling like forty and death are way too closely related, I'm happy to have someone like you step up to the plate and swing one away for the women in power! You'll be swell; you'll be great, etc. etc. Boris, I won't lie, you surprised the hell outta me. Hope you enjoy it!

"They're always coming and going, and going and coming...and always too soon..."
-Madeline Kahn, I'm Tired

Crystal and Schmoo (am I ever going to spell that right?): Way to work! Thank you Crystal, for taking pride in Regina and our community and working the title like the Rubinesque Empress I always knew you could be. You stayed just the right amount of drunk all year, and showed us that fat chicks rock, and there's nothing that can't be a frock, if you have enough sparkly material! Oh, and Garnet, you were always my favorite! Kathleen, we could have been stardust....you have always treated me with respect and kindness, and occasionally with a bit of tongue, and it's all good. I hope you had fun this year. I was proud to be your decade Empress, loved doing protocol for you -- you let me get away with myself *L* and will always hump your leg for a chance to see Great Big Sea! Love you both!
Upper house, every one!! You all worked your mostly skinny (and don't even get me started on how you should be eating more sandwiches!) asses off, not just performing and travelling, but working your court with everyone, and even mopping up after. Tony, I fell in love with you at Investitures, just don't tell Divine! Thank you for all your hard hard work, and I hope you all had fun this year!

"Can't you see she's sick?!"
-Mel Brooks, I'm Tired

And still more. Why? Cos I'm the pushiest bitch you'll ever meet. Or maybe I just love the sound of my own voice! Ten years ago, I was Empress of Regina. I won't flatter myself and say I was the best. Frankly, no one else wanted the job. The GLCR was hurting, the court was in the red, and nobody really knew what we could do to heal the community. I ran for Empress against a strenuous no vote campaign--"a woman? Michele? what? No way!" and snuck in by 3 votes (wasn't supposed to know that, but hey, I'm nosey) Well, it just takes one vote to win. I did the best I could in a community where there was (at that time) one man in a dress, and no customers in the bar. And here we are. Which would speak for itself if I'd done it alone, but that just aint so: Imperial Grand Duke 4 Simon: My cohort in Mickey D's crime. I miss you, my friend, you're very special. Avaughna, you were a  good choice for Entertainer of the Year, and I will always appreciate you tucking for a year for me. Bruce, when Terry had to move, you stepped up to Prince with dignity and made the work easier for everyone. Princess 4, Joanne, what were we thinking?! Know I appreciate all the dresses (even those 10 pounds of filling in a five pound sausage casing ones) and pep talks, and not being the only woman out there, but you will always be the technicolour yawn Princess to me, seeing Syreeta upside down in the bathroom stall and finding out Blanches just aint so hot the second time round. Thank you again for everything.
Emperor 4, Kerry...where do I start? From the interviews, which showed we were both right on the same page, to your honesty (did you know I was scared to death of you?) and your belief in me even when I had none myself, to your continuing support now ten years later. You were the best damned Emperor anyone on the planet could have hoped or wished for (despite getting me locked out of my room in Minneapolis while you redecorated the bathroom with hospitality suite snacks!) and I will always be profoundly grateful for the chance I had to reign with you. Having said that, you are also an amazing friend, and I would have said that even without the bling *L* Love you lots, and know you can always call on me!

Stop doing what you--keep doing it to me!"
-Catatonia, Mulder and Scully

Let's here it for the Ladies Who Lunch, everybody laugh! I mean it! Gotta say, big snaps for all the girls out there now. Will, Schmoo, Kim Possible, Trey, Sir Jock, Monique, Bruce, Buster, all the Dovers, Kimmy, just to name a few. There have been more, of course, here and gone too soon. And I have to say thank you for carrying on the tradition started ten years ago. The one that says that women can do this. That women have a place in this part of the GLBT community. And that women might not have dicks, but by God we've got balls. And that we can wear big hats, just like the boys! PS Ang,we need to get you into a dress...or maybe out of one!

"You wanna know why Joey Ramone's my hero? Cause people like you never managed to grind him down. They never stole his spirit. He never gave in. Never gave up and never sold out right til his last breath. And he's not dead. Guys like that. They live forever."
-Richard "Ringo" Langly, Jump The Shark

Okay, special mention time (this is the part where you look for your name): Clint, you're one of the sweetest guys I've ever met, and Kerry's one damn lucky man! Wayne, don't you ever get tired? Tara, take care of yourself and know I'm here for you in all ways. Deedz, whatever you need to do to be content and happy, know that I will always support you and be your friend. Zak, work towards your goals, and you may find unexpected rewards along the way. Trixie, we miss the shit outta you! Clare, you're a braver man than me! Dorian Gay, I'm looking forward to seeing what you do next--you already drink like an Empress, you'll be wearing the big hat someday I bet! Geoff, I love your hair *L* Tall and talented, keep smiling! Marlon, can you believe it's been ten years? Did you know Brian G had a title in my house?! Bernie, I'm so glad you're happy! Jae, thank you again for all you've been to me; I miss ya. Ryan, you're beautiful! Graham, you give me faith in ways you can't even imagine; betcha you cry good (insert dirty leer here). Brian M: the man with the BBQ--keep those Rev shooters away from me! I bet Kim Potent could really kick some ass on the circuit--might want to re-think the belly hair glitter, though. Thanks for everything. Chris, good to see you out and about again. Ross, no, put the pennies away! Lee, where are my posters? *L* Hope you are having fun in Mexico! Troy, you always miss bucket o chicken, are you afraid of my house? My Winnipeg clan. Love you all, love the purple pen! Godiva, are you drunk? Josh, do you love me? Jiminy, nice babushka! Joe, hurry up and move here! Sabrina, thanks for leading the protocol chorus! Special mention to the newly formed Handicapped Court of Stalled South Winnipeg and all of Portage La Prairie: Take the W.T.T. name and wear that trash with pride! I forget what time it is in your world now, but it's always time for a Blanche. Breana, take care of the regalia, and keep the teabagging to a minimum. Tyra, send me those quotes! Vida (did I spell that right?) you'll always be the thin one *L*  Ang: Ola! Someday....Kimmy, I miss ya!  Martin,our own Regina bunny! Let's get drunk and dish about our Anne *L* Louise, Wade, Michael you guys knew me when and still love me *L* I love you all and miss you more than you'll ever know!, Jason from Manchester, I fell in love with you! Glad you enjoyed Canada! Neal, wish you could be here--you are so beautiful, Buster! Jason, Whitney, how many days now? I wish you guys could have been here, and I can't wait to see you!!! Brent, glad you're back in Canada; hope we can hook up soon! Chuck, aka Anita Cane, thank you for the fun at brunch--more cheese honey? And you just keep rollin' on the river, cos that was way fun! Gerrard, thank you so much for the music. I can't wait for your album to come out--you are beautiful, no matter what they asy....

"Let's face it; everything below the waist is kaput!"
-Madeline Kahn, I'm Tired

"You don't want to forget who your friends are, Agent Mulder; to remember who you can trust."
Walter Skinner, Redux II

And you thought that I couldn't keep going *L*: Mick, I thank God for blessing me with such a friend in my life. Jax, Br'er Bear, I love you and someday I hope I can get one of those bug higs in person! Chad, I wish you could be here--hell, I wish I could be there! Always yours, all ways..... Terry, why aren't you here? Susan, you're the cat's ass--I want to come back! Thanks for the Ativan *L* Thane, you are one of the most amazing queens I know, but more than that you are my friend. But how do you eat so much at brunch? Shane, I think we should be Emperor and Empress someday...when I'm rich and you're pretty. Okay, never mind....*L* You know I love you, right? Mitchell, God, where to start. I'm a lucky girl and I know it. I could just put a Scully monologue here and make you cry, but instead I'll just say thanks, and you know, those three little words: bucket of chicken ("I want that one.") Thomas, are we really 40? We will always be thin and gorgeous *L* I love you! Andrea, you're our film goddess! More please! Our goal is to find you a str8 boyfriend this year *L* Lori(lie), so glad you're happy! Laurie, keep smiling, squirrel lady, we luvz ya! Jay, Logan, Kim, Hal and all the other LJers, thanks for letting me into this world; you all rock!  List sibs far and wide, you keep me sane!

KUDOS: anyone who found their way to Sunday brunch or TV night. Thanks, you make me feel special; anyone I served at the club who didn't treat me like the help; I may not know your names, but I know what you drink. This does not include anyone who couldn't say please, or anyone who called me a name, or anyone who thought they were better than me; all out of town guests who make Regina more beautiful by virtue of their presence....

There's more and more after that, but remember, if you don't see your name here, buy me a drink and get a mention. I'll be updating on Monday when the festivities are over, so don't panic, there's more love and sarcasm coming soon!

Congratulations to Kim Possible and Boris Tateerz, Empress and Emperor-Regent 15 of Regina and all of Saskatchewan! And a big ha ha too, cos you're stuck with me as decade Empress again *L* Just let me know where I can help.

 Copyright 2000-05 Michele. All rights reserved. I went to law school.