Boris Tateerz says:
"I think I broke Mitchell."
later:
"I think I broke Mitchell so bad he went home."
"I wanna talk to the one in the middle!"
(pointing at lone bartender)
"I'm just a leeeeetle too drunk to remember that."
"I've got to go stupid now before I do something home."
"Stay pretty, send booze."
NEAL: Every idiot puts on a hat and thinks
he's a cowboy. (On the Calgary Stampede)
BORIS: Oh, we have those too--have you
seen Donald?
BORIS: You're playing with my fat
KRICKET: Fine, I'll play with Gerrard's
fat.
BORIS: See you in a few hours.
"it's a sad day when a gay man's too drunk to dance to Cher!"
"Never underestimate the power of Trixie's thighs!"
"So I turn around, and suddenly everyone is drunk!"
"It's a Trixie Free Zone!"
"Booze, booze, booze-booze, booze-booze-booze booze, booze...booze."
"We were just discussing the disturbing lack of Platinum Blonde tonight.:
"Look--I have my own beer and my own lighter!"
-see Sketchquotes....
"If I throw wood during this number, does that make me a lesbian?"
"What's with the old crow...and why is she holding that stick?"
-on Anne's scepter
MICHELE: But every time I get up on stage,
I think, 'They're going to think I'm a freak and stone me to death!'
BORIS: I feel the same way at Christmas
dinner.
BORIS: This drink is doin' my hair--whoo!
ANDREA: Who needs up-dos when you have
booze?
BORIS: who needs anything when you have
booze?
"I have to iron everything? Why ca't I be straight? This wouldn't matter!"
"A moment on the lips...and then I'm Shane!"
"That was so moving I need a cigarette...to stick in my eye!"
JASON: The first one [beer] made my face
hot
BORIS: That's good, cos my thighs are
cold!
"Floor-licking will begin precisely at 9pm on Wednesday at OHanlons. In case of carpeted floors, please remember to bring your Honourary Lesbian badge."
"I just sketch -- the Speed Divas are a team effort... you, me, and Trixie.. and vodka... lots and lots of vodka... vodka is such a team player!Like the peppiest little cheerleader in high school... who gave all the football players head behind the bleachers... that's vodka."
"Here's my underwear it's edible go!"
-yes, it is all one word...
"It might be intriguing for the first couple of inches, but..."
-on beer bottle sex...
BORIS: Give me those pants, woman
WHITNEY: They'd fall off you!
BORIS: Or pull off of you
"They called her Trixie West Jet, 'cos she's just a little bit cheaper."
"A drag fairy's work is never done."
"Oh, that's hot--N-O-T--hot!"
"Don't you use your logic puzzles on me!"
"It won't go in my mouth if it's crooked!"
"Shut up, coffee boy!"
"Don't worry about it, I won't die--you will!"
-when Ethan didn't buy him coffee in Medicine
Hat
"And by loving, she means spiteful!"
-about Trixie
"I am thoroughly enjoying my new toy!"
-birthday gift, really!
"Dionne Warwick left that part out of the song: For good times, for bad times, for sticking a spoon in my head, that's what friends are for!"
"I'm going home. Why don't you drop by later,
sailor?"
-ah, roleplay...
"Select a fine whiskey. Drink. A hallucination
will appear -- choose another bottle (you should have many more).
At the bottom, after all the alcohol is gone, will be your answer."
-providing tech support for the Goddess
"Your Karma ran over my Dogma."
"See ya, sailor!"
-saying good night to the straight guy
"I'm paying out."
(losing more quarters than a slot machine--for
the rest of this conversation, check out Barkley Speak!)
"It's a tapestry...I mean a tragedy...I mean 'kill me'"
"I'm gonna go cry now...I'll be in the bedroom with a box of Kleenex."
"Boyfriend out of country--no talk of dancing pants!"
"He never believes me!"
-on sharing the bed
"We're not losing a sister, we're gaining a Whitney!"
-crying at that wedding
"Let me get this straight--it's a gay man, pretending
to be a woman, singing like a lesbian...I bet he doesn't tip for the rest
of the night!"
-on Anne Whatsittoya's Melissa Etheridge drag
BORIS: You're
the gayest straight man ever!
ED: The only way I'd be more gay is if
I'd chosen tap, as opposed to it being a required course.
BORIS: No, the only way you could be more
gay is if you sucked dick!
"There's nothing you can't do with a glue gun and an air stapler."
"I'm going to Trixie's where we are going to have a cocktail and congratulate ourselves on a job well done. Then we're going to go do the job."
"You're the king-if this was chess and the king was just 'this' big."
-to Ed
"Gotta get the ball of twine, gotta get the ball of twine, gotta-hey,
that's my tail."
-doing his cat imitation...maybe
"Some day we'll have a conversation that doesn't have the X-Files in
it."
-performing an intervention
"You know the party's over when Trixie puts her pants back on."
-just making an observation
"We lose more princesses that way..."
"You're just jealous because you're too fat to wear Versace!"
-watching the Golden Globes post-show
"Oh, look,
fire."
-describing
the miracle of the gods
"And cut to
vase of flowers, and fade to black..."
-gay soap
opera director
"FOUR DAYS!"
-a drunk birthday lament
"Retail therapy"
-finding the cure for the common cold
"Commitment ceremony? I can't even get him to buy a dog!"
-in love