BRIAN DID THIS!
"Not my year!"
XXX
"What if Mitch and I were to spit roast you?"
"You're a hooker and you're a hooker and the hooker's a hooker!"
"That's why we can't have nice things, Ian! I mean, uh, vote for me!"
"I can't get over your Louis Vuitton bag. I totally wanna kick you in the box!"
My penis is bigger than your arm!
I guess we're doing this.
How do I taste?
(when you trick with the guy first)
Oh, he's not mine, I'm just pissing on him.
(marking his territory)
"I'm on the activia 14 day challenge and let me tell ya--I'm regular--it's coming pre-lubed!"
"Did I make a quote yet?"
"Are you still talking?"
(to Cameron)
"Hi. I'm Brian, and if you can tell what's wrong with me, I'll swallow."
"There's no leftovers here, lady!"
-to Chyna
"Get up, ya fuckin' hooker, I brought you breakfast!"
-just makes ya want to marry the guy!
"Sociable Rule: Everyone must speak in the third person."
"I just found out there's a difference between blackout drunk, and just being drunk..."
"I better not see myself on the banter page!"
"NOT AT A FUNCTION!"
"My name is Brian, and I don't have a reputation here."
-introducing himself at the club...
"I want tabby eyes and persian lips!"
-Brian M., on face-painting
"I'm a racist."
-Brian McDonald, gay Native
"I'm going to sit on the table now--do you think it will break?"
(crowd answers affirmative)
"Okay, I'm still going to sit on it."
"I think I'm out of the game."
"When was this?"
(looking at a picture of himself being violated
by the GodDESS's dildo, wielded by Mama Rose)
"Damn I'm pretty!"
"The worst is when you're having a cigarette and gurgle gurgle
gurgle..."
-on hangovers
"So the spooning is out, huh?"
"We voted you to throw Nada off the gate and close the deck..."
"I think I shit my pants!"
"I think I did it again"
(two shots and a giggle later)
"Mama needs an oil change...."
"I need an adult!"
-on being felt up by the twinkiest of the twinks
"I think I'm in the mood for "dumb" tonight."
later...
""Dumb" is staring at my butt--I can feel it."
"If the shit's not flying, I haven't been there."
(from his Halloween costume)
"I'm a classy bitch--sleep with me NOW!"
"I aired out my box, it's not sweaty anymore."
"Just 'cos I'm in a dress doesn't make me easy."
"I'm grabbing the other one...I've got goals."
on being a tranny boob-grabber
"Cum is not love."
(he told me Denise said it)
"Gotta let the boys flow, man."
on boxers vs briefs
"Money and no hair? Hey :) How are ya?"
flirting
"Does it tickle when you blow on it?"
on chest hair
"Yay, I won!"
making a childproof lighter work
MICHELE: Brian, can you go upstairs and
get some ice?
BRIAN: Now?
SHANE: (having heard the request for
ice) SCOTT!!!!
BRIAN: He
found someone bigger and dumber (for the job)
LEE: I don't see the point of leaving
a
hickey--marking your territory--what? Are you going to pee on me next?
BRIAN: I've got a story!
(and he did)
SONG IN THE BACKGROUND: I got the music
in me!
BRIAN: I want something in me
tonight!
DANNI: Aren't you guys hungry?
BRIAN: Hungover! I gots my fill of meats
last night!
NEW GUY AT WORK: If a guy sucks your
dick,
does that make you gay?
BRIAN: No.