CLERKS...
"Yes, hello; this is R.S.T. Video calling. Customer number four-three-five-zero-two-nine.
I'd like to place an order... Okay... I need one each of the following
tapes:
Whisper in the Wind, To Each His Own, Put it Where It Doesn't Belong, My
Pipes Need Cleaning, All Tit-Fucking, Volume Eight, I Need Your
Cock, Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers, My Cunt and Eight Shafts, Cum Clean,
Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts, Cum Buns Three, Cumming in a Sock, Cum on Eileen,
Huge Black Cocks with Pearly White Cum, Slam It Up My Too-Loose Ass, Ass
Blasters in Outer Space, Blowjobs by Betsy, Sucking Cock and
Cunt, Finger My Ass, Play with my Puss, Three on a Dildo, Girls Who Crave
Cock, Girls Who Crave Cunt, Men Alone Two-The K.Y. Connection, Pink Pussy
Lips, and All Holes Filled with Hard Cock. Oh, and..."--Randal
Bunch of savages in this town.-Randal
No time for love, Doctor Jones!-Randal
Try not to suck any dick on the way out of the parking lot!--Dante
You get me slapped with a fine, you argue with the customers and I have to patch everything up, you get us thrown out of a funeral by violating the corpse, and then to top it off, you ruin my relationship. I mean, what's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?--Dante
Salsa Shark. Were gonna need a bigger boat. Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa. Shark is in salsa.-Randal
Hermaphroditic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box, beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame.-Randal
Customer: Cute cat. What's his name?
Randal: Annoying customer.
Have you ever wondered how much the average jizz-mopper makes per hour-Randal
This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.-Randal
"It's important to have a job that makes a difference,
boys, that's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination."
-Customer
"Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets."-Dante
"You're cute as hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys, make like a circus seal. Eww, you fuckin' faggot. I hate guys. I love women!"-Jay